Just some feedback...

tvimedia

tvimedia

Member
Hi...this is a WIP. It started out as a class project (yep, looking to get my BFA, ugh...school again), but am wanting to really finish this to my "full vision" for the storyline. ANNNNNYways, I just started learning AE CS5, which I haven't touched AE since 1.0 back in the day---definitely dating me---and just wanted some feedback. About anything. I'm not saying this is really shiny and cool yet, sooooo don't worry about hurting feelings here. I'm interested in hearing any and all feedback. PLUS, if any tricks/tips are had, it will save me time/trouble of finding better ways of doing "it" whatever "it" may be...lol.

Thanks :)

 
"3 years from then"
should be either
"3 years before"
or
"3 years later"

I'm not seeing a connection between the first scene and the second.
You seem to need a story to connect and support two unconnected, unrelated scenes.

The scene in the woods is too drawn out, time consuming and cliche.
The broken twig, the long tedious crunching of leaves ... continuously shooting a coat on the ground?
How stupid are these guys anyway?

So they're stalking someone, and the hunted kills one of three hunters.
What happened to the other 2?

I think you need to write a story that makes sense, and then eventually cut the second scene to 1/3 it's length, if you even keep it.
But completing a story based on "The end of days" seems like a waste of time, unless you can bring something to it that has never been done before. It's a story line that's been done to death and needs something very fresh, as a twist, to make it even remotely interesting.
 
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