Insults with class

Jackie Gleason's show opening remarks about his band leader Ray Block's sports coat:

"Somewhere there's a Nash Rambler without a headliner..."
 
I can't resist...one more:

In the late 1800's an italian fashion writer, having returned from a trip to England wrote that "English women's shoes looked like they were made by someone who had heard of shoes, but had not actually ever seen a pair."
 
My fav Churchill has always been:
Lady Astor: Sir, you're drunk!
Winston Churchill: Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly
 
And then of course Ebert riffed on the above Churchill in in his famous feud with Gallo.

(When Ebert called Gallo's movie The Brown Bunny the worst in the history of Cannes, gallo called Ebert "fat with the physic of a slave trader") and then Ebert said ...

"although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of The Brown Bunny."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Gallo#Feud_with_Roger_Ebert
 
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Churchill walked into a lavatory and noticed a person from the opposite political party at the trough. He stepped past him, walked to the far end of the urinal and proceeded to go. The man said, (I'm paraphrasing cause I don't exactly remember the wording) " Hey, are you too good to pee next to me?" Churchill said, "It's not that, it's just that any time you see something sizeable you try to get your hands on it."
 
Einstein's pretty good too

"There are only two things that are infinite - the Universe and human stupidity. I'm not sure about the former.'
 
Churchill's a BEAST

i'm gonna try to use these, now

i love this one: "Sir, you're drunk!" "Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly." you could pretty much apply it to any situation. as ebert demonstrated...
 
Well you may have mis quoted Einstein, or he was reffering to "Potential Infinity", as in reality a physical infinity can not exist (it is a mathematical ideal). The universe has to be finite in order for motion to exist otherwise we would end up with Zeno's Paradox!

Anyway the guy was clever for sure :0

Anhar
 
I kind of liked Hemmingway's comments... the pretentious BS on normal talk radio, including what seems like "the word of the day" on every talk show... pushed me to Sirius faster then anything.

I wonder if some of these quotes were manufactured... how did conversations become history? Did Churchill hang out with a court stenographer or did that banter with Astor happen at the Fryer's Club?

Genuinely curious here... I'm digging the quotes and have been butchering some of them for years without realizing where I got it.
 
MattinSTL said:
I wonder if some of these quotes were manufactured... how did conversations become history? Did Churchill hang out with a court stenographer or did that banter with Astor happen at the Fryer's Club?
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HAHA! I was wondering the exact same thing. Especially the dialogue-type quotes between George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill. These people must have had a video crew with them at all times....

These are great nonetheless....
 
The Shaw/Churchill were written messages.

I can imagine the lady astor and churchill famous one was at some soiree or function if he was drunk and she was there and probably overheard.

Could probably look it up online ... if I wasn't LAY ZEE
 
Anhar Miah said:
Well you may have mis quoted Einstein, or he was reffering to "Potential Infinity", as in reality a physical infinity can not exist (it is a mathematical ideal). The universe has to be finite in order for motion to exist otherwise we would end up with Zeno's Paradox!

Anyway the guy was clever for sure :0

Anhar
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he also said GENIUS WILL ALWAYS FACE FIERCE OPPOSITION FROM MEDIOCRE MINDS......and that's why we hate you Anhar!!!!! nah nah nah:Drogar-Love(DBG):
 
Anhar Miah said:
Well you may have mis quoted Einstein, or he was reffering to "Potential Infinity", as in reality a physical infinity can not exist (it is a mathematical ideal). The universe has to be finite in order for motion to exist otherwise we would end up with Zeno's Paradox!

Anyway the guy was clever for sure :0

Anhar
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What the hell are you talking about?
 
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