Ideas to improve my short film?

C

ChasBetts

Member
Okay I'm working on a short film that has a length limit of 3 minutes.

I am flying to Vegas next week, so I am going to shoot it there.

My idea is:

We see a man, looking empty and regretful; walking down the vegas strip.

He does a voiceover about how he's spent 3 years in vegas and has nothing to show for it. He doesnt have a dime to his name and wishes he could just have one ouce of GOOD in his life.

While this is going on, we see his hands handcuffed behind his back the entire time he is walking down the strip. He is staring at the casinos as he goes by.

The voiceover comes to an end with a pair of hands unlocking his handcuffs.

The person is revealed as a beautiful woman, with a child. They all hug, he kisses the woman, they hold hands... and the shot changes to them walking... as a family... with the city of vegas behind them.


I guess I'm looking for any cinematic tips to pull this off, and get the idea across to the audience that the woman and child (his family) are what he has, and allowed him to unlock from the capture that the gambling/vegas atmosphere had on him. Any ideas/help would be appreciated.
 
I see a lot of these short films with great stories and then some twist from left field. Why the twist? Did you develop a good character? Don’t you have a visual idea for to express his feelings and ideas? Then why the twist? I see it so much and let me tell you, you don’t need it. Finish the story out with this exciting character you have developed. Drop the twist, that will make your short film better. Finish the story, think of fiction as what is it, a tool, a badass tool.
 
Finish the story in what way then? I have trouble coming up with a suitable ending besides mine. I guess maybe that's why I am asking.
 
Ha! That's a funny link. A little too true.

As for your project and how to do it, all I can do is tell you what I do. Me being unknown to you, take my advice for what it's worth.

1. Think about shooting your scene in one shot. Notice where and when the camera moves. Those are your shots.

2. Rehearse and make a note of where you're standing while you watch. You may be naturally seeking out the best vantage spot. Try putting your camera there.

3. Hold on to the closeups until you need them. Going close too much is seductive.

4. Do all that, but listen to your gut. Let go your conscience self, and rely on instinct (c).

5. Tell Wayne I said hi.

The woman/child/family thing is pretty obvious. I get the idea from your telling me the scene, so it doesn't sound like you need anything fancy, as long is the action is clear.
 
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