How do you handle the constant disappointment?

J

jghenderson

Well-known member
I'm still very new to this career path, and perhaps things will look up when/if I get to direct projects with larger budgets, but right now I am getting depressed at the constant issues that arise to try and destroy my projects.

I'm directing a music video right now for a very talented young rapper. Schedules have been difficult, so we've had to divide the shoot up over a few months. We've shot 3 nights so far, and the 4th and final night is soon. A big part of the video is a character wearing a mask (a mask we made), and suddenly the lady who has the mask has gone AWOL on me. She hasn't answered phone/text/emails for 3 weeks, she has stopped communication with everyone. So here I am, supposed to be finishing this video after so long, and i'm without the key prop to the whole video. I'm being forced to come up with (bad) alternatives with little notice, and potentially have to shoot 2 nights of footage in one night.

I had really high hopes for this video. I hoped it would be the first thing i've ever done that I was genuinely proud of, but once again crap has come up to screw with it.

Does this crap happen to everyone? How do you keep going without getting depressed?
 
Been there many many times, I understand what your going through. Here's my advice. Pick a day where you haven't anything planned, go out and shoot some footage, and cut it, just for your own personal gratifacation, and try to get back to why you started in this biz to begin with, my guess is for the love of filmmaking. It sounds easy, and blah, blah ,blah. But it help to clear your mind, and get you back on track. It can't hurt to try, it's worked for me many times over the years.
 
95% of this game is problem solving and the other 5% is seeing the problem and cutting it off before it can even happen.

Don't worry if the video is not up to your expectations, do your best ! --- keep on doing more and by the time you've done your 10th you will be able to pull a magic rabbit out of thin air ... thats the way it goes.
 
I have no idea how I do it. Seriously. I really have no idea why I still want to shoot so bad. I'm in a job now that's full time, and I'm doing it solely to raise some money to afford some time to try this again.

But maranfilms's advice was some of the best I've read, and J Davis's was a complementary chunk of reality.

Nice short thread so far.

I miss shooting. I used to make music for years, then stopped, and now what's bringing me back is exactly what maran said. I find off days and make little loops with my guitar etc, and it reminds me what I liked about it in the first place.

T
 
J Davis said:
95% of this game is problem solving and the other 5% is seeing the problem and cutting it off before it can even happen.

Don't worry if the video is not up to your expectations, do your best ! --- keep on doing more and by the time you've done your 10th you will be able to pull a magic rabbit out of thin air ... thats the way it goes.
Click to expand...

Awww! Let's wipe your tears.

You need to put on rose coloured glasses my friend! You are very lucky you have a music video to shoot! Imagine if you had no projects to work on - so you are a head of the game and you came to play baby!

Also J davis is right - a lot of this is learning time. Most music videos from labels are very contained events under strict timetables ( of course there are exceptions but...) and learning how to contain your production is key - such as trying to find a way for the production to hold onto key elements like a mask - if at all possible during the entire time till the shoot is done. If not - it's best to plan around not having it. These are the things you learn on the battleground on the road to bigger productions.

Oh yeah! Rock it out my friend. Stay filming
 
Time does not heal all wounds, but it does heal most of them. We've all got stories, and you are starting to build a catalog of your own. Years from now, these stories and what you learned from them is what will make you a seasoned pro. You sound like you have the passion, which is an important first ingredient. If you have the talent to go with it, you'll probably be okay. Just give it time, and hang on.
Imagine yourself in some distant future as an old guy (trust me - it will happen) and you are surrounded by a bunch of young bucks at some breakout session or something. You're regaling all those eager young faces with your stories of conflict and calamity, and they'll be looking at you like "Man -- this guy is awesome!" The blood lost might at that point be worth it.... :-)
 
I was thinking the same thing last night, I too am getting very frustrated.

Last night I was scheduled to help shoot an interview with the director of a film at the films debut at a small bar & theater. The crew call was 2 hours before the film "debut." The director to be interviewed for 20 minutes, was supposed to show up 30 minutes after crew call. It turned out to be a major mess. The 80+ folk attending the film were showing up an hour after crew call. After we finished setting up (about an hour) fortunately/unfortunately the director was very late and the interview was cancelled. We were breaking down with many folk in the way (quite dangerous). The point is I was with a new crew, the interview (up to 20 minutes) to me should have been scheduled an whole hour earlier. That would have given time for setup and break down without 80 crowding in to basically a small bar. In the limited number of interviews I've done its usually taken me an hour to setup and 30 minutes or less to tear down. I've read some crews are capable of 30 minute set ups, but that's with great gear and lots of practice. Am I being unrealistic?

I stayed for the feature film debut but it also was very annoying. I wasn't involved so I was curious. So many things were done well, but the very poorly lit the main characters when there were groups of people. This was not once, but several times. The main characters were speaking and were important. Even they didn't seem mic'd well either. I don't get it. It was not shot with a very high end camera so I am pretty sure its going to fail to be lit right even with better manipulation in post. I actually found the film pretty boring but everyone seemed to enjoy it and were clapping.
 
I've learned that it's great to start with a plan so you have thought threw what you will be doing, but then you should definitely expect things to change. Something always does.. the weather, actor, extra, prop, location, scene.... you need to learn to adapt and pick your battles wisely if needed.
 
You don't make movies because you want to, you make them because you have to. Then, when the constant disappointment hits, it doesn't really matter because you don't have any other options anyway.


Hey man, it happens. That's what this business is about. You'll get through it... just get it in the can, however you have to.
 
Directors and writers need to have something in common with boxers. Don't know if the expression is allowed in English, over here we have something that's called "taker qualities". You need a lot of them.

Maranfilms advice is great. Grab a camera and go out and shoot and if it's only for your own soul. After my current shoot I will be sitting at the table with four comedians, developing some sketches we need to shoot for just making us remember that we are in it because WE love it and don't want to put up with the other nonsense in this business.

This is one way to make the distinction between what you have to do in this business and what you want to do and what you can do. No budget to shoot the equivalent to "Alien"? Shoot a short about an earthworm. But don't sit and wait.
 
Motivation.

You need to understand and drive the motivation of other parties.

If an actor really wants your shots in their reel - they will show - they have motivation
If an actor is being paid they will show - they have motivation

Money is a universal motivator, other motivators are harder to sell.. unmotivated parties will let you down

S
 
Actors....directors....startups....eeewww.... Naturally, you want things to happen, and in a lot of situations you want to be the guy who makes things happen. Trying too hard can make things worse.
Years ago I was hired to do a pretty decent shoot at SxSW. I didn't know the 'director' but most of the other names in the lineup were major. The 'director' was late, didn't have his front money, and was obviously clueless. I decided that I was going to save the shoot and be 'the guy' with some major players. By mid-week, the 'director' had wrecked everything (including some of my equipment) and people were abandoning ship like crazy. I ended up walking before the job was over, never having been paid a cent. Everyone realized that I had done some amazing things, and even though I got some kudos, the overall connotation was still negative. I would have done everyone and enormous favor if I had walked the instant I realized there was a serious problem.
 
morgan_moore said:
Motivation.

You need to understand and drive the motivation of other parties.

If an actor really wants your shots in their reel - they will show - they have motivation
If an actor is being paid they will show - they have motivation

Money is a universal motivator, other motivators are harder to sell.. unmotivated parties will let you down

S
Click to expand...

Yep. I try to pay everybody, even if only a token amount. It motivates them and gives me justification for my expectations.

Your problem on the current shoot is that a critical prop never leaves your control. If she wouldn't let YOU keep the mask until the shoot was over you shouldn't have used it.

I can't even imagine a project where I didn't have major regrets when it was over. I think that's just part of the game.
 
gonzo_entertainment said:
Yep. I try to pay everybody, even if only a token amount. It motivates them and gives me justification for my expectations.

Your problem on the current shoot is that a critical prop never leaves your control. If she wouldn't let YOU keep the mask until the shoot was over you shouldn't have used it.

I can't even imagine a project where I didn't have major regrets when it was over. I think that's just part of the game.
Click to expand...


It wasn't at all that she wouldn't let me take the prop, it's that I asked her to be in charge of it and keep it safe. I had no way of knowing she would go AWOL and she was one of my key crew members (she was the AD for the first 3 days), so I figured I would let her help since I was already doing so much work myself.

One thing that terrifies me about small indie filmmaking is the tendency for it make you do everything yourself. I don't want to be like that, and I especially don't want to be at a place where I don't trust anyone to do anything. I want it to be a collaboration, I want people to take on responsibility. But things like this make me more and more feel like if you want to get something done, do it yourself. And I hate that.
 
Indeed, it sucks.
When your AD (or prop master) is making $750 (or more) a day and has a long list of film credits you can trust them to hold a critical prop. When they aren't.... That sucker is going home with me every night in the box with the rest of the critical prop and costume pieces that are never out of my control.
 
I agree that you have been given some good advice to ease the pain.

But I think you have learned a valuable lesson in business here. What that lesson is is up to you to discern. Have you taken a hard look at what the circumstances were that led up to this? Granted, it sounds like a bad situation......but we don't know why she did what she did. Maybe she had reasons to do what she did. Were there promises made that were unfulfilled? Did she lose interest due to the excessive time involved? Never discount the other person's POV, because no matter how "wronged" you feel, they may feel the same way and were justified in their actions, in their own mind. We only have your side of the story (which can be construed as one-sided), and I believe in objecivity....sorry if that is an issue for you.

But if you are going to post about a situation and only give your side of it......someone has to ask about the other side to be fair. And if no one else will do it....I will play Devils Advocate and ask the hard questions of you. If you really want help, and not just a stroking on the back to make you feel better.......you will see why this is important.

Look at the situation and see if there was anything you could have done to avoid it. Learn from it. On your next production, apply that new found knowledge. Again, I feel for your situation, but unless you try to find a way to learn from it and incorporate that learning in your future business/production endeavours, you are guaranteed to have it happen again.

I am not trying to be mean and unfeeling here, been in the same boat before, but without adressing the actual issue.....you could go out and film your heart out to make it all better....and the problem will still remain. And by people glossing over that fact.....they are not actually helping you.

Sorry guys. The OP related he got bit by a rattlesnake, and some of you are advocating "just go play with more rattlesnakes". Not how he can evaluate why he got bit in the first place and/or how he can protect himself in the future. "just go film more" is definitely NOT the answer here. Nor is having someone pull their punches when trying to help.

I could be very wrong here, but based on what I am reading.....there is total different side to this that we are not seeing. Going to with-hold judgement until I know that side.

You can have people that just say they sympathize and pat you on the back....or you can have people willing to actually help you. Your call.
 
Last edited:
Well let's state the obvious.

1. Find out where she lives, works, hides.
2. Forget the mask. You lose one prop, you gain an opportunity to go from masked character to...?
3. Fudge the shot where the mask comes off, from behind the head.

I'm thinking it's more about the music, then more about the girl/boy/sex. Mask is low on the scale. Since this is a music video, as long as you edit so there's no continuity issue (is there continuity in music videos?) then there should be no problem.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top