How could this film be better

[D.Mur]

I had no part in the making of this film, nor do I know anyone associated with it. I just watched it though, and several thoughts came to mind.

Some parts of it seemed very strong visually, and guided by the hand of someone who understands visual storytelling. Other parts seemed as though the filmmaker didn't understand basic concepts of continuity or for some reason didn't get the shots she needed.

This seems to be a film that "almost" was pretty good. My question for you all, is what could've been done from a visual standpoint to make this a stronger film?

Obviously there are some story issues, but I'm focusing more on a visual perspective.

 

[Ryan Patrick O'Hara]

The photography seems quite nice for the most part. At 0:59, there is a shot of the woman looking at two people kissing outside. The next shot is a closer shot of the two people, as they turn around and point. The color and contrast of the image is very different. I assume it was a combination of non-color matching lenses and it's so different, I'd also go to say that the white-balance is probably even to blame. The shots of the man walking are decent, but they aren't as strong as the following shots of the stone carving, the women descending from the stairs, and etc. Again, everything is good, some is just better.

Shot at 2:36 is simply wonderful. Absolutely spot on color, exposure and especially composition.... however... once again, the next shot is much different... not color matched at all. Everything is much warmer and does not match. I would appreciate this if it were done on purpose and seemed to have a point... but it seems accidental to me and it really takes the viewer out of the established world. Continuity is a very strong way to make people believe that edits are continuous events. Again, it's so bad, it must be white balance of camera, however I can tell that some cheap lenses are being used or some sort of work-around, because some shots have lots of CA, such as at 4:25.

The lighting at 6:00 and etc is very very good. Top shelf. I love it. Almost as much as at 2:36. The whole scene is terrific. Even when she leaves the room and he follows. Their silhouettes against the window is just fantastic. Love the 'single source' and well placed blocking.


The rest of the film is about the same. Some terrific moments that is top-notch, and everything else, just good or ok. Nothing terrible. The biggest weakness thus far, in visuals, is continuity throughout the piece and certainly within some scenes. The last scene had a greenish cast to it compared to the rest of the film... might have been a stylistic choice, but since it wasn't a reoccurring motif, I interpreted it as not being balanced right. Despite cinematographers being able to have different looks within one film, there needs to be a feeling of style continuity throughout the film. The last scene stood out as feeling different.

 

[D.Mur]

Wow, great insight man. I agree with just about everything. Perceptually I'd picked up that there was something wrong with continuity, but somehow I missed the glaring problem of differences in color temperatures between her shots.

I also didn't like the last scene, more-so because how story didn't end in a satisfying way - but now I see how that greenish cast can highlight that problem even more.

It's amazing how much these things can take away from a film.

 

[j1clark@ucsd.edu]

This seems to be a film that "almost" was pretty good. My question for you all, is what could've been done from a visual standpoint to make this a stronger film?

Obviously there are some story issues, but I'm focusing more on a visual perspective.

I had time to only watch the first minute or so. While I'm pretty negative on 2.39/(whatever...) aspect ratio, this effort looked like they were really trying to use the frame, rather than
just use a 'cool' aspect ratio.

However there were a few things that were 'tells' on not quite getting it to the level one finds in pro productions. One shot, with a line of women in red habits, because of the height differences between the women,
some were chopped off by the top of the frame, or bottomed out. I perhaps would have liked to have seen the women ordered by height, then had a slow pan up as the taller women filed by.

I'm also not a fan of shaky cam... the Wife is turning into a anti-shaky-cam-nazi... but I do occasionally think it works... but some of the shots in the first minute or so, didn't seem to 'work' for me.

The last image that I recall making an impression was where the woman in the red habit is looking to the parking lot and a couple engaging in couple-play. I read the scene as the woman in the red habit, as looking to 'another life, which she will not be a part of'. With that in mind, I would have positioned her on the left side of the frame, then when the cuts to the couple occur, it seems like she is a 'distant' observer... I don't read that same feeling with her on the right.