Hit the wall on a script, now what ?

J

Jeffrey Rice

Active member
Hi, all. This will be a fairly long post as I will give some details about the sucky script I have been working on... and unable to focus on...

First, the script: A retired airline pilot badly injured in a crash where he saved a lot (not all) of the passengers, has settled at an FBO (airport gas station) and is jolted back into the past when his estranged 18 y.o. son comes looking for flying lessons.

Going for serious, heavy-duty slit-your-wrists drama here. Post-traumatic stress, broken family, the works. Normally as a fiction writer this is right up my alley, I taught writing at a community college for 6 years.

I did a "vomit" draft in 3 wks last fall while my GF was teaching in Taiwan and, well this draft is truly basset-hound-level dog vomit (they eat everything, and copiously). Such a stinky draft I don't want to touch it with a broom handle, let alone re-read it again.

It's not like I don't like the story or know the characters; this project was originally a stage play I wrote & co-directed in college. Rather Frost/Nixon-ish now that I think about it, confrontation and fact-finding aspect. It's based on the Sioux City United crash--not Sully--that's how old it is. I had some really high hopes & ambitions for this one....

The "focus" problem is, I've been cruising DVX and other boards for gear suggestions, messing around with archival aviation footage in Vegas, thinking about building a poor-man steadicam, reading McKee and Steven Katz directing books, jotting down bunches of notes for other scripts I have partly outlined but not written yet.

Everything but writing.

What do you do to get going when you have a bad script ? How do you shovel into that radioactive pile again ?

I don't hate this script, the story anyway. I think to be "truthier" it needs to be darker. Hopeful ending just kills it. Maybe someone dies in this (present screen time). I've hit the freakin wall...

All help appreciated. Cheers :beer: Jeff
 
Me, I pick out what I like, and write around it. I get scenes out of sequence (Just like editing, it is often non linear), and build up to them, and from them. As long as you have a clear idea of where it starts and where it ends, you can figure out how to get from point A to point B. If that doesn't work, I put it away until I find the key bits I am missing. Sometimes the story flows, and you can crank out 90 pages of good stuff in a few weeks. Sometimes, it isn't so smooth. Maybe you just need to forget about it and work on something completely different, until it comes back to you.
 
Ps.

Ps.

Sorry, I forgot to add this is intended to be low/no-budget indie, preferably for me to direct at some point. Some vfx such as greenscreen would be possible, I'm not letting that limit me too much. I have great access to aviation stuff.

No hard deadline and no need to "sell" it to anyone at this point. Just want it to be the best it can be. I hope these details are helpful.

I have read Truby, Syd Field, Linda Siegel, as well as lots of guerrilla film-making stuff incl DV Rebel's Guide.

Cheers :beer: Jeff
 
I move on and write something else.

When I write another script, it exercises different muscle groups that might help later on when I rewrite script #1, and it takes my mind off the script... which allows my subconscious to do some work.

- Bill
 
Since you mention being sick of it, I would recommend only keeping what you love in it. Take every part you like (no matter how large or small) and create a system for logging these parts on 3x5 cards. Lay them out on a big table to be viewed as a puzzle. Keep blank cards available to write new ideas. Of course, all the cards can be shifted around all the time. If you don't need the table, it can sit there and wait for whenever you get an idea. Or use a board. Throw in anything else that you may find meaningful: doodles, photos, objects, etc.
 
I get this feeling after every first draft. I feel absolutely raw, like the protective covering of my nerves have been stripped, painfully exposing me to every minor worldly breeze. Emotionally, I'm a wreck.

This seems to go away with time, when you can objectively look back at your script without the exposed nerves. I try to think of my scenes as "placeholders", to be improved upon and sculpted for later.

It's a necessary step in the writing process. That doesn't make you feel any less crappy, though.
 
Jeffrey Rice said:
First, the script: A retired airline pilot badly injured in a crash where he saved a lot (not all) of the passengers, has settled at an FBO (airport gas station) and is jolted back into the past when his estranged 18 y.o. son comes looking for flying lessons.
Click to expand...
To me the plot seems lame ... maybe this is what is dawning on you ....
 
vic777 said:
To me the plot seems lame ... maybe this is what is dawning on you ....
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I don't think the plot seems lame. To each his own I guess. I'd rather watch this movie over any of those b-action or movies like american pie, scary movie, all those hollow kind of films...To me those are hollow.


I'd leave your script for a while, a few weeks, work on something else, then read a printed version of your script again. Also sort of sounds like you've lost motivation or inspiration, try to find it again. Sometimes when I've worked on another script, I get inspired and can work on harder scripts.

Or maybe you just don't feel passionate about your script anymore. Write something more personal, or add something more personal.
 
vic777 said:
To me the plot seems lame ... maybe this is what is dawning on you ....
Click to expand...
Mailliw87 said:
I don't think the plot seems lame. To each his own I guess. I'd rather watch this movie over any of those b-action or movies like american pie, scary movie, all those hollow kind of films...To me those are hollow.
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I don't think the plot seems lame either. The film could be lame if done the wrong way but if the characters were made eccentric and interesting the film could be a great one. I always like films about the contrast between older and younger generations. Like Bad Santa for example, even though that's most likely not where you're planning on going with this. I guess Secondhand Lions would be a better comparison. Either way, I like the plot, it just leaves a lot of room for quirky, not-so-common characters to drive the film. Just my .02 cents.
 
Read over it again last night, not as sucky as I thought, but seems to be missing some of the "juice" it had as a stage play.

Yes, this worked on the stage, minimalist style, no cockpit mockups or anything like that. Mostly a story about integrity, father & son piece. Flying stuff happened offstage, implied. Someone has a thread on Movie Speeches, stage version had several of these.

Maybe in trying to make it more "cinematic" I've watered it down ?? Could Kyle or someone comment on doing stage-to-screen adaptations ?

Thanks all :beer: Jeff
 
Jeffrey Rice said:
...

I don't hate this script, the story anyway. I think to be "truthier" it needs to be darker. Hopeful ending just kills it. Maybe someone dies in this (present screen time). I've hit the freakin wall...

...
Click to expand...

When i read that the film that came to mind was American History X.
 
I had a very similar problem with my feature comedy/drama. I wrote the first "draft" around a year and a half ago and it was such a "vomit draft" it's not even funny. At the time, I didn't know how to format a script or anything so it was literally goop splattered on a page. After writing it all I just let it sit for a few months and when I came back to it I didn't even want to read it. But, despite how bad it was, I made myself go back through it. And I found a few little scenes that could be kept, but ended up changing 85% of it. Not to mention changing ALL of it to a proper format. But, I think, that first painful draft is very necessary to the finished product. It helps you work out the kinks, ya know? I've read about writers who say "You start out writing a film one way and the final draft is something completely different." I like the plot you've got here and I'd be interested to read it once you've got a draft that you're ready to show around.

-TC
 
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