Hey guys, need some advice

C

Craig73

New member
Hi guys, I'm new to the forum, and looking for some advice. I'm really not sure what to do with this part of my screenplay, I hope this makse sense... any advice?

EXT. CEMETERY - EVENING

Stalkers POV (is it ok to use POV)

Far back within the cemetery he is lurking and watching the old cemetery house from a distance. The stalker then moves quicky towards the house and suddenly stops and hides behind a bush in front of the house.

EXT. CEMETERY HOUSE (is EXT need here? or just Cemetery house?)

He continues to watch the house then move forward peering in the front window.

CUT TO: (is CUT TO needed here? or no CUT TO?)

INT. HOUSE LIVING ROOM

John and Mel are in thr living room kissing.

dialogue
dialouge
dialouge


CUT TO: (Again, is CUT TO needed here?)


EXT. CEMETERY HOUSE (is EXT needed here? or just cemetery house?)


Stalkers POV He moves from the front window to the side of the house, peering in through the side window.
 
Lets play broken telephone, now someone edit mine! Haha.

Anyway, this is how I would personally do it.

Code: 
EXT.CEMETERY.EVENING

Stalkers POV

Far back within the cemetery, the stalker is lurking and watching 
the old cemetery house. The stalker moves quickly towards the 
house and suddenly stops in his tracks. He hides behind a bush.

EXT.CEMETERY HOUSE

The stalker continues to watch the house, then moves forward peering 
in the front window.

INT. HOUSE LIVING ROOM

JOHN, 20's, and MEL. 20's, kiss passionately.

dialogue dialouge dialouge

EXT.CEMETERY HOUSE

Stalkers POV as he moves from the front window to the side of the house, 
peering in through the side window.


*I took out "From a distance," cause you already said "Far back within..."

Robbie
 
Craig73 said:
Hi guys, I'm new to the forum, and looking for some advice. I'm really not sure what to do with this part of my screenplay, I hope this makse sense... any advice?
Click to expand...


Here's a URL that gives some basic info about what a script looks like, and perhaps answer some questions you have in your script.

As a note, using the {CODE} .... stuff ... {/CODE} where '{', and '}' are replaced with '[' and ']' respectively, is a better way to format 'script snippets' on this site.

URL

http://www.screenwriting.info/
 
There are guides all around, and it's good to get to know them, but when it comes down to it you tend to build a style, and you chose to use some things, and not use others. After reading plenty of scripts you'll notice even the big boys write differently from one another.
 
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