Formatting question regarding (O.S)

E

Evans

Member
I'm writing my first short drama script that is based around a boy in an abusive household and I'm stuck on how to write a particular scene correctly...

The scene takes place inside the main characters bedroom, and there's a fight taking place just outside the door. We cant see this, only hear it.

Do you write the action description as:

A) Dad storm up to Mum, grabbing and pushing her up to the wall. Slaps her several times across the face.

B) We hear foot steps pace away from the door, a large thump follows then the sounds of a hand slapping a face.

Thanks in advance,
 
INT. KID'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

KID hears DAD roughing up MUM outside his door, in the hallway.

DAD (OS)
I'm going to rough you up and stuff!

MUM (OS)
Noooo!

Muffled sounds of a struggle and then a thud as a body hits the floor. Kid cries himself to sleep.

Obviously you wouldn't need to use all of that, but it's sort of a combined effort of ways to 'show' the fight from the boy's perspective. The important idea here is that it's from the boy's perspective since you're choosing to be in the room with him. Probably no need to write dialogue unless it's important to the plot, but you can write some if it heightens the action and suspense--maybe you could even muffle some important dialogue to make it a suspenseful secret important to the plot later. Like:

KID tunes his ear but can barely make out what they're saying through the door.

DAD (OS)
(muffled)
...we...know...I'm not...father...

Or, like, whatever may be important to the plot.


So in short, B).
 
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