Editing advice for feature segment of a larger show

fatman

fatman

Active member
I produce and direct live boxing events - and as such I come across great stories all the time. This last one has to be the hardest for me to imagine.

I'll link what I have now - in short it's about a former child soldier.

https://vimeo.com/212167761
pass: uganda

I'm going to change some of the music and I recent got more images to mix in - so I'll do that to replace duplicates, but I'd appreciate any feedback in terms of pacing, or whatever comes to mind. It's 6min which to me is on the longer side, but it's hard to cut it down further because it may not do it justice - I think if I DO cut it down more I'd have to lose a 'chunk' or piece of the story... I toyed with the idea of having some narration to clear up a couple of points, but was VERY worried it would make it far too long. I'd love to make it longer, but there is no funding or 'destination' where it would air on it's own at this point, so I'll roll it before he walks out for his fight.

if it's of any interest I shot it on my fs700 odyssey combo with legacy canon's - lit with a diva flo w/ a diaper and kicker was the arri 150. I was about 8-10 feet away using a 70-150mm for the interview portion at around f5. The 'style' is what I always do which is to cut out me completely and try to make it intimate and not have the questions involved.
 
Wow, what a compelling story.

Regarding pacing; I'd break it up a little bit and leave some space between his statements. At times it starts to sound like one big run-on sentence. Maybe give it the occasional ~2 second pause after he says something impactful. Since you have some more images now you'll probably be able to cover over the space that adding pauses creates.

I thought the part about playing cricket around 2:40 dragged on a little too long and was confusing. All we need to know is that he beat the odds and made it to Canada, right? You could almost cut from 2:40 until 3:30 and pick back up with the story about the other boxer that inspired Godfrey, and then just use that tiny little clip about applying for refugee status at 4:12 and still have it all make sense.

Thanks for sharing this.
 
i love the idea of adding pauses and adding to it in general - I just wish it didn't have to be in such a compressed (time) format.

With the new images I will do that anyway, and thanks for the cricket comment - good to hear it's confusing, I spoke so long to him that THAT part didn't confuse me - but yeah I'll get rid of it albeit reluctantly because I thought it was extremely intersting because it was such an unexpected way, he's talking about boxing boxing boxing, then ended up getting his ticket to north america via cricket!?!? Anyway, perhaps if the format ever gets a shot at expanding the story, like if he gets to be more well known etc. I really do need that better part of a minute to make the whole thing more digestible, so that's as good a spot as any I guess - too bad I'll have to scrap the cricket picture!

That's party why I thought narration would work so well (but would stretch it too long maybe) because what actually to me is the most confusing part was the choice of army. He joined the state army because they pay and feed you and even though you may actually feel somewhat like a traitor. The rebel army, on the other hand, you often go hungry and have an exponentially higher chance of getting killed because you're so out-gunned by much better equipment and supplies. If you get a chance to read this I wonder if you had any inkling about that?

Anyway, above all I'd like to thank you for watching and taking the time to respond, I knew it was a big ask - it seems like of lazy, but I'm just not the best editor especially since I suffer from "I shot that and want to keep it in" syndrome.
 
Great story! you could do a much longer documentary with that story. Of course you would need to do some more research and shot other interviews...but the story is there. Is it even possible for you to shoot more? Like maybe people that first help him in Canada, his boxer coach maybe, family?
I agree, the cricket part is not that important. but maybe so if you ever do a longer doc.
 
Thanks Doug - I could easily do more - boxers I have found are so accommodating. The only issue with that is I'd need some commitment of a network or some final destination to provide some type of funding or support. I won't just shoot it and hope to distribute it after the fact I'm a dad now, and made a decision not to do any work at all for free a while ago. I don't trust the Canadian media giants - they are all terrible and have the wrong people making decisions.

My initial impulse was "this is a 1hr feature", maybe interview the mother and sister back in Uganda, get a political expert etc. But then I wake up and realize there has to been some kind of funding or sponsorship. That's also not my forte. I did send this out to a few places, didn't hear back so I doubt it goes further than it's destiny as a 5min piece.

Thanks for watching.
 
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