DRUNK STORIES!!! Share!

L

lucidz

Well-known member
As per my other thread lets bust out some "god I got so wasted I..." stories.

I'll start, I've got quite a few. Heres some highlight footage.

1. Got super smashed at a bar, and couldn't find my fiance, thought she'd left with another dude, so I walked home. 10 miles. Along the way, I sorta passed out a bit, and fell off the sidewalk, and tumbled down a 10 foot embankment into a drain runoff, which was about 3 foot deep. My head completely submerged, thankfully this woke me up. The entire embankment was covered in horrendous thorns, because it was meant to keep animals from going up onto the road. I still have the scars!

2. I was out of town meeting a friend for the first time, had a HORRENDOUS day on site at a news station, so decided to get smashed. I ran up about a 90 dollar bar bill at fridays and ....... Woke up on my hotel bed (still made) wearing only my left sock. I didn't remember anything at all, at least lost 1 hour from the night before. I was terrified, I didn't even know how I'd gotten home. Thankfully nothin bad happened, I think the reason I was nekked was I'd planned to take a shower, then passed out.

3. This one is my fave. I had never had wild turkey before, and bought a bottle. I was online chatting to some friends and told them I was drinking it straight. No one believed me so I flipped on the webcam. They egged me on until finally, I had finished the bottle. I fell out of my computer chair onto the floor and everyone had a laugh as my fiance got out of her chair to help me. I yacked all over the carpet, and crawled to the bathroom where I yacked all over my magazines. I passed out there on the floor. The next day, I come to at 1 pm. This is a wednesday...... I am just a bit late for work, so I go to call my boss, and realize I'm still so trashed I can't speak. So I wait 30 minutes, call my boss, get his voicemail (thank god) and mumble something along the lines of "immba nawbtd comminggk indew worgg doday.... [click]"

Anyone got any doozies?
 
..wow. and people drink till they are drunk why? ..i mean its so much fun obviously but i just seem to be missing the point.
 
I didn't say this thread was about making wise, concientious decions. Quite the opposite in fact :D
 
:) ..i know i know.., im just slipping in my backhanded guidance for any youngsters that may read the stories and somehow concieve the idea that it would be "cool" to follow in the footsteps of any of the number of posters that are sure to follow shortly... lol

carry on then. .. uh ...in moderation. :beer:
 
old soco and i had quite a time. didnt feel like tossing cookies in the toilet so i puked in the urinal at burger king. two days later i came back and the bathroom was out of service. woke up on my friends roof watching a friend jump of the roof and into the bushes.

passed out on my friends couch, woke up with a goddam fox skin on my head and got scared out of my mind. apparently he thought it was funny the night before.

for some reason my girlfriend at the time washed my hair in the tub, and then i passed out. the next morning my friends parents asked "why are there shoe prints in the bathtub?"

at a friends party, decided to switch pants with my friend for no reason and didn't even see the de-pants brigade that was behind me. they pulled my boxers down and stole them so i walked around half naked for a few minutes.

damn.
 
Hey what about the time when Super Tropper woke up with a sore ass. Hey, it wasn't me! I was 10 states away... Hah


wait...that didn't sound right..
 
High school. I made a bet with a friend that he won't gulp down a litre of wine in one go. He won.

He puked all over the classroom. Taught me a lesson.

Don't drink and bet. :thumbsup:

As far as my own drunk stories, I'd rather not. My grandchildren could read this some day... :engel017:
 
I don't really have that many good stories (if you want to call those "good" stories). I drink fairly often and get a little ripped, but I don't drink to the point of not knowing what's going on. I'm getting too old for that. Besides, I have enough dents in my car as it is.
 
Ah there oh so many (not proud).

I'll have a few, here's the first (this one's sort of tame)...

(*) We played in a local town and broke the bar record for most Jaeger-Bombs served in a night(70+). I was told that I was doing the "intersection mosh" whenever the car stopped on the way to the hotel. I was told I also tried to have foo-sex with random cars in some of the intersections. Lost my shirt, hat, cell phone.

(*) I played a 45 minute set completely naked at a few shows. I'm still trying to buy back the pictures.

(Again, not proud of this) I've literally paid thousands of dollars for damages over the years and to avoid court. I am proud of the fact that I have NEVER, EVER driven drunk though. Even at my worst I know better :beer:

(*) I dared a girl to strip out of her mini-skirt at a party and she said only if I would wear it, so, I stripped naked and said sure. Within in minutes I was walking around with only the mini-skirt on, and mooning people. I accidentally mooned 4 really big bikers though, that ended it :cheesy:

Wow, looking back at this, I'm an idiot and those are just recent memory.
 
These happened a while ago, I'm too old for it now...

1. In the Keys, me, 4 friends, 4 scooters, and Jack Daniels had a great night. NEVER drive drunk...never...not even a scooter...at 3am...down a 20 foot embankment...

I wrecked my scooter, had my left knee dislocate in the basket thing, and messed up my elbow and chin...

When I got up, my friends were freaking out and pointing at my knee, I was so drunk, I jumped up, blood dripping, and hit my knee into place and walked away...It still makes a bone grinding sound to this day...

2. Sitting next to one of the hottest girls I've ever seen in my life. My friend across from me is shocked that I'm even talking to her. I get her laughing...I'm completely drunk...I laugh and start turn to him...but instead...fall into the tip of a metal framed picture, cutting open an inch in my forehead...smooth...
2b. I wake up the next morning and the lump is so big, I must've hit a vien, it swells and gets infected, and I have to go to the doctor...

After these events, and growing up. You see getting this drunk just isn't worth it. I'm lucky I only hurt myself when I was younger, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt someone else. Be safe everyone.
 
This happened a long time ago.

I was in the Army and we were participating in one of those multi base war exercises at Fort Bliss Texas. During the day I flew the battalion commander’s Huey helicopter around watching these poor grunts putting on all of their gas masks and ponchos in 110 degree heat. At night we went into Juarez Mexico to get some tequila – the kind with the worm in it, then went back to our nicely air-condition barracks to play poker.

I never drank tequila before and like many things in the Army they had these stupid traditions. You had to let the worm float to the bottom of the bottle, break the seal and then drink – not hold your tongue over the opening of the bottle, but drink until you could grab the worm with you teeth. I proudly held the worm for all to see then swallowed it.

About twenty minutes later, without any warning, up came the worm, which really put a damper on the poker game. One of my fellow pilots found the worm amongst my dinner and put it back in the tequila bottle where they made me drink the worm again.

I ate that worm six times before I passed out. I still can’t stand the taste or smell of tequila.
 
wasn't drunk at the time but well on the way. A bunch of friends and I were in a bar after work and we had ordered 60 beers between us ( there were ten of us) we were sitting at a booth which had an inside foamy bench, a large 10 foot table and ten chairs on the outside. I was stuck on the bench sourrounded by friends and having to pee real bad. I had such a hard time squeezing out that when I came back to the table everyone groaned that they had to move to let me in again. I decided that It would not be needed that anyone move to let me back in to my seat, I would just jump over the freaking table and land in my seat. Everyone hummed and haad and bet I couldn't do it. With a short run( four-five feet) I leaped like some weird gazelle, cleared the table and landed right on the bench. The wonderful properties of foam fired me right back in the direction from which I had come but with only half the velocity needed to clear the table again....I don't have to tell you how mny beer glasse were on the floor do I?
 
Silly, silly people.

Me, I can't get that drunk. My body won't let me. I go from pleasantly buzzed to...um...having to start all over again...if I have even a teaspoonful more than my body will accept.

But there was this guy in the barracks who was found one morning lying in the hallway, flat on his stomach, arm stretched out with his key in his hand, right in front of his door. Oooh, almost made it home...

Dan
 
BLUESPIDER said:
Man, the last time I drank, I woke up pregnant! 2 1/2 weeks!
Click to expand...
Dammit...Now I have to send out 4 child support checks..."Oh I'm on the pill, I'm on the pill"...liar...
 
Phil said:
Dammit...Now I have to send out 4 child support checks..."Oh I'm on the pill, I'm on the pill"...liar...
Click to expand...
If you drink, don't screw (and drive).

Should it be rephrased as "If you drink, don't screwdrive"?
 
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