Mark Harris
Pain in the ass
I'm only jealous of MattinSTL's goddamned good looks and overwhelming sex-appeal.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
I'm only jealous of MattinSTL's goddamned good looks and overwhelming sex-appeal.
Did I read that right, your best friend became friends with the guy your gilrfriend is cheating on you with. Ouch The only thing worse than that would be if your best friend was the one cheating with your girlfriend. But in a sense it's almost the same thing if he didn't tell you. I dont know I would be jealous as much as straight up pissed off and seeing red angry. thats just brutal.Talk to the hand.
I don't sit in a room and stew over other folks' success; I just occasionally seem to find myself with a creative explosion and no real outlet to channel that energy because I'm short on help. I also find that my standards for myself are fairly high, and it tends to impede the process when I am less-than enthusiastic in working with dilettantes
Not jealous, but inspired. I think jealousy springs from insecurity, but if you can use what someone else is doing as a motivator it can be an effective way to help light a fire under your own ass.
I can relate to this 100%
I've found it very difficult to find any like-minded filmmakers in Michigan...despite being enrolled in the film program at a local college. I'm not even remotely rich and yet I'm the only one in the program that seems to have invested in any equipment. I signed up hoping to meet people to pool resources with, but it turns out I'm the only one who has any! I've got camera and sound covered but no money left over for lighting or anything else. Obviously, there's a lot of people who have it much worse, and in a way this feels a lot like crying over spilled champagne ("Waaaah! My glass slippers are too tight!") but everything is relative and it's still discouraging.
Even worse than the lack of gear is the lack of knowledge. Very few of my classmates seem to know...anything? Not even the basic stuff, F-stops and shutter speeds, color temperatures and audio clipping, basic story structure and cutting on action...
None of it.
Bovine blank stares.
Dripping strings of drool.
And again, it's not like I'm some walking encyclopedia but I've AT LEAST done the basic research. I at least have a basic working knowledge. I've read countless books on the theory, the craft, and the business, read countless online tutorials, joined websites like this one...I don't say this to brag. I don't think it's brag-worthy. But unfortunately, I also don't think I've met anyone in school that's even done this much...the absolute bare minimum.
For many I think, a film degree is the perceived path of least resistance. And they're right, you can easily half-ass your way through the entire program. Forget everything. Learn nothing. Do nothing. Be nothing. Easily.
But why would anyone want to?
Apathy seems to be the predominant state of mind among fellow students. I've seen no sign of passion in anyone I've met so far, no dedication, no real drive. Maybe I've missed it, maybe THEY don't see any of that in ME...who knows?
But yes, it's very discouraging, especially when you hear about all these famous actors and directors and editors and DPs who met in college, in their twenties, and were able to forge mutually beneficial collaborations that continue to this day, decades later. I'm definitely jealous of those fortunate few, lucky enough to find their creative counterparts early on. It's got to make things so much easier.
Not "easy", of course. But easier. Definitely easier.
All my friends are getting real jobs, getting married, buying their first houses and their first new cars, investing in stocks and enjoying their health and dental plans. It's hard to be on the sidelines of all this forward momentum. All this practical ascension and tangible progress. Next to them, it must look like I'm just spinning my wheels, going nowhere fast.
But for the vast majority of tomorrow's filmmakers, I think that's what you have to do. I think that's what it takes.
Apart from fellow students, there's another demographic I like to call "yesterday's dreamers". With these folks, being a filmmaker may have been a passion early-on but at some point it became just a hobby. It's easy to get comfortable with day jobs, starter homes, spouses, portfolios and 401k's. It's hard to blame someone for deciding to take the safer path. Security is a hell of a drug. You have to be a little bit crazy to put all your eggs in the filmmaker basket and go for broke (literally).
I just wish I knew someone as "crazy" as me.