Did I kill this?

If you are talking about the cicada beetles that are over powering the audio, then yes they are distracting, but that doesn't have anything to do with you. If you are talking about the odd steadicam choice and how it wobbles, it is a little distracting but not to bad. Is that what you were talking about?
 
"Odd Steadicam choice and how it wobbles" - if you're talking about that first shot, I was trying to not break my ankle in the dips in the ground, while holding a frame with a 50mm lens on a quite cropped image. (Probably around a 65mm in full frame terms)

As to the rest of the Steadicam, not my finest work, but I don't think any of it was terribly distracting, except for one edit where a fountain mysteriously appears after a cut in a terrible spot in the frame. Probably should have tried to use a different take for that.
 
I think that Steve needs to better explain his question to get a good answer - as DP, did you just light the scene and what do you mean by "kill it"? As in overdo a certain look?

Looks fine to me and Steadicam wasn't overly distracting, though now that you mention not trying to break your ankle I can almost pick out those shots and think of you trying to avoid dips in the ground heh.

Kegan
 
Sorry I am mainly referring to the color, slight over exposer, shallow DOF in the first shots. Tom and I were going for a dreamy type hand held which personally I really liked. This is a flash back scene if that helps. And yes I was only the DP not sound department ha.
 
colour and "dreaminess" seems fine to me. the camera movement is a bit awkawrd as mentioned b4.
the edit though would have helped to see an OTS shot or 2 with them both in the frame. for me it feels like they arent really talking to each other...so that would help. maybe others didnt feel this way though.

edit: oh i'm talkin about the very first scene.
 
jambredz said:
colour and "dreaminess" seems fine to me. the camera movement is a bit awkawrd as mentioned b4.
the edit though would have helped to see an OTS shot or 2 with them both in the frame. for me it feels like they arent really talking to each other...so that would help. maybe others didnt feel this way though.

edit: oh i'm talkin about the very first scene.
Click to expand...

Agree, they seem disconnected, and its not the actors, it seems to be the angle.
 
It looks pretty good, could have used some wide shots in the edit. The only thing that bothered me, a others have pointed out, is the noise from the bugs, not because they are too loud but because they change so much from cut to cut. Since you were the DP, these problems have nothing to do with you.
 
Just commenting on the opening scene, shots I would add are probably OTS (over-the-shoulder) shot of Guy#2 as Horse Guy approaches, and then some OTS during the dialog. Also, when the two guys meet in the beginning of the scene, it looks as if they come to within a couple feet of each other, but during the rest of the scene it seems as if they are shouting to each other from a distance of several yards.

Finally, I don't know where you shot this, but it almost looks like studio work with a GS. I don't think it is. But at least one wide establishing shot would be nice to give the viewer a sense of place.

After a very quick perusal of the rest of the film: I would try to get more facial expression in certain sequences. Especially at very emotional points of the script. More OTS work overall would benefit the narrative greatly, I think.

Methinks maybe you were shooting with only one camera? If so, then one thing I once did for a short film was to shoot the scene twice (at least), once from OTS of character #1, and again OTS of character #2. Cut them together and you have some nice dialog interchange. Especially if you overlap audio at key moments from one clip to the next. Takes longer to shoot, of course, but the end result was a scene where I've had people ask me how many cameras I had.
 
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Technically I liked the look. Maybe even try a Black Pro Mist filter ... nice halo effect. As far as the cicadas ... a trick I was told by a DP, bring 2 short 2x4's to the set. When the bugs are too loud smack the two pieces of wood together hard. Can buy you enough time to shoot a scene. I haven't tried it yet, but being in this area I know how they can really screw with outside audio.
 
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