Descirption

M

Malandrain

New member
I've been wondering. When I'm writing about either monsters or machines and even people. How much description do I put into it? Do I go into complete Detail or not? and could someone give me an example of what would be the right way.
 
No right answer as it depends on the character. I for one like to keep things brief but visual as possible. Just make sure it's things that matter to the story. If your character is blond, and you tell us they are blond, there needs to be a good reason for it.

[FONT=&quot]STELLA GREEN, late 20s, small town girl trying to look [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Hollywood[/FONT][FONT=&quot], fumbles with the radio. HARPER, early 30s, rugged man with some good looks under his anger, slaps Stella's hand away and changes the radio to another station.

[/FONT]Like that.

This is from "As Good as it Gets"

 [FONT=&quot]POV - MELVIN UDALL
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
in the hallway... Well past 50... unliked, unloved,
unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he's ever
met.

This is from "Kill Bill"

[/FONT]The six-foot tall, long-haired blonde with the codename
“California Mountain Snake,” is doing a savage boxing workout with her COACH.
 [FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
 
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Listen to Alex, he is a guru when it comes to script writing. I have an issue with this because I started out as a story writer with lots of heavy description so sometimes I struggle to keep it concise when doing screenplays. If you would like an example of what NOT to do I can grab an excerpt from my first ScriptFest entry. :)
 
I was in the mood to write a novel and I instead wrote a script. The result was not pretty (ask Alex :)) This example also uses "we" which is a big, unnecessary NO NO!

We turn around to face the strange, dirty man. He carries
under one arm some assorted clothing which we can logically
assume he had been wearing previously this day. We pan down
to notice a few drops of blood escape the clothing and fall
innocently to the floor. LYLE looks down and sees this mess.

LYLE
****!

LYLE uses his shoe to wipe up the blood and then turns to
the nearby trashcan. Again using his foot, he puts pressure
on the lever which opens the lid and he drops the clothes
inside, continuing on toward the battered sink.
He looks in the mirror and notices a spot of blood on his
white shirt where he had been carrying the tainted clothes.

LYLE (cont’d)​
Dammit!
 
alex whitmer said:
[FONT=&quot]STELLA GREEN, late 20s, small town girl trying to look [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Hollywood[/FONT][FONT=&quot], fumbles with the radio. HARPER, early 30s, rugged man with some good looks under his anger, slaps Stella's hand away and changes the radio to another station.

[/FONT]Like that.

This is from "As Good as it Gets"

 [FONT=&quot]POV - MELVIN UDALL
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
in the hallway... Well past 50... unliked, unloved,
unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he's ever
met.

This is from "Kill Bill"

[/FONT]The six-foot tall, long-haired blonde with the codename
“California Mountain Snake,” is doing a savage boxing workout with her COACH.
 [FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
Click to expand...

Sheesh, great stuff.
 
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