Critique my Idea

[rajjaskaran]

This is an idea for a script that I have had in mind for a while, and I want opinions on it.
Here is how it goes:
The story deals with a young girl in India who is left on the streets by her parents following financial problems, while still keeping the son. The girl is then picked up and put in an orphanage in the city, where she meets other girls who have been met with similar fates.
The orphanage is run by a drug-addicted man in his thirties, who also secretly engages in sexual activity with some of the girl children, who keep it a secret due to fear of murder.
The orphanage also houses boys, but in a separate area, and the only time the boys and the girls meet is during playtime.
The young girl, beautiful and very intelligent, becomes friends with one of the boys who is made fun of by the other boys for being stupid in his studies. She tries to help him out with his work, while also becoming friends with one of the teachers, and frequently goes with the teacher to see and learn to her fullest potential. The teacher, determined to get the girl in a higher level education outside of the orphanage, is fired by the leader of the orphanage, who plans to use her as one of his girls for sex.
Soon, the boy that she was friends with is adopted by a fairly wealthy family, and she is again and without friends, until she is raped by the leader one day when he calls her in.
this is what I have so far. What do you think?

 

[Lynchenstein]

I'm not a good writer - I'm struggling with a couple ideas of my own at the moment, so take this post for what it is.

Do you know how this ends? This is the first thing that popped into my mind.
The biggest piece of advice I learned from a few of the books and articles I've read is: know the ending before you start writing. The ending won't just uncover itself as you write; you need to know the ending so you know what to write so your characters can eventually get there.

Anyway, back to the idea. I like the apparent theme of the orphan overcoming obstacles, loss of her family and friends, dignity, etc.... I assume that the leader of the orphanage will get what's coming to him and the orphan will somehow live (somewhat) happily ever after. Will she grow up and start an orphanage for girls and help to drive social change? Will the fired teacher assist in the deliverance of the leader? Will the adopted boy? Are the other girl orphans friends of foes or a mixture? Are there rivalries and a pecking order? Does the leader have "favourites" that vie for his attention?

Do her birth parents ever come back into the picture?
How old is the girl? Rape scenes are (I imagine) tough to handle with adults, so I'd bet how you handle a child rape will be a far bigger challenge.
Overall it sounds like you have the beginnings of a complex story. You could delve into many different themes too - lots of options open to you. The main character obviously has a "need" and there are quite a few different obstacles you can throw in her way.

So, lots of questions and these are just what popped to mind immediately. I think it has potential and finding the right cast after you have this written will be yet another big challenge.

Good luck - I'd love to see this if you make it.

 

[Kaban]

Seems interesting. Sonds something like it could turn either into a love movie when the girl and boy meets when they're grown up. Or it could turn into a action movie, when the girl kills the orphanage leader, lol.

 

[j1clark@ucsd.edu]

This is an idea for a script that I have had in mind for a while, and I want opinions on it.
Here is how it goes:
The story deals with a young girl in India who is left on the streets by her parents following financial problems, while still keeping the son. The girl is then picked up and put in an orphanage in the city, where she meets other girls who have been met with similar fates.

I think it is pretty close to the story line of "Slumdog Millionaire"(2008), at least in the early childhood of the protagonist, when he is taken to live in an orphanage. There is an implied subplot of sexual exploitation.

From what I've read about the Indian filmmaking scene, you'd have to make this sort of film yourself, as the 'industry' tends to avoid really deep looks into the current social situation, especially when it involves sex.

As for what you have at the moment, it doesn't go beyond an exploitation quasi documentary. To use "Slumdog Millionaire' as an example, there is a love that springs up between the protagonist and one of the girls at the orphanage, and that becomes a transcendent element in the story. "Love" does eventually conquer, but not without costs.

So, other than the exploitation of child sex under duress, where are you going with your story?