Character telling a story

U

USLatin

Panamaniac
How do you feel about a character telling a little story?

_ If it were in a screenplay where it would really fit, like a reunion of friends who haven't been together for a long time.
_ If it also brought us (without visuals) to a place that is very different from the one they are in (i.e.: Minnesota Winter/Florida Keys Summer) adding contrast.
_ If it were in a project with strong casting, meaning well performed.

Would you be concerned that the audience may feel it is awkward or out of place...?
 
I should say, it really isn't that "little"... current draft spans 2 1/2 pages... though it is mostly fast paced and excited dialogue.

Also, it lays out the theme of the story.
 
As long as it doesn't come off as a massive chunk of exposition it should be okay as long as it's entertaining. If the view feels like you're "telling" him/her info, though, it could be awkward.
 
Usually "show don't tell" - but there are lots of ways to get spoken exposition into a script without being cheesy.
 
Blaine said:
as long as it's entertaining. If the view feels like you're "telling" him/her info, though, it could be awkward.
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Yea, that is exactly what I keep thinking. It will most likely be one of the two or three audition scenes I will use for that character. Not an easy one!

It really is a great story, methinks. I'll have to get some feedback once I give it one or two more passes, probably later today.
 
You don't mean voiceover throughout, you mean a character will be onscreen and talking directly to camera? If that's all the audience sees, it will be visually dull unless you have an amazingly talented actor. But with heaps of cutaway shots to show what the character is describing (the character's voice continuing voiceover), it can work very well.
 
No, he is not looking at the camera but telling the story to the other characters. There would be no cutaways to show the story visually. We are "brought" to this other place by our imaginations and the story telling talent of the actor/character.
 
USLatin said:
No. He is telling the story to the other characters. Also like I said, no cutaways to show the story visually. We are "brought" to this other place by the story telling talend of the actor/character, in our imagination. He is not looking at the camera.
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This has been done many times - usually with children's stories or poetry. It only works in small doses - not even a 10 minute short. More than 5 mins and it falls apart.
 
This is a scene in a feature. Using the rule of thumb 2 1/2 pages translates to 2:30 min though I think this might be more like 1:50ish. I might cut it down a tad, but it is definitely not getting any longer.

I am very aware of it being done, many times. IMO it ranges from "annoying" when poorly written or performed and it takes me out of the story, all the way to "meant to be that way and no other" when it is called for, well written and well delivered. I am hoping for personal opinons regarding this sort of "trick". I wouldn't say it is a trick in my case, but I am a tad over-sensitive to things like this so I might be a bit bias.
 
Well if I recall a scene correctly (and I might not), I am thinking of the scene from True Romance (Patricia Arquette, Christian Slater) where the father of Christian Slater's character is tied up in a trailer by thugs torturing him, and I think he tells a long story as Christopher Walken's character listens, then ultimately blows the guys brain out. But it was a long story as I recall.

USLatin said:
I should say, it really isn't that "little"... current draft spans 2 1/2 pages... though it is mostly fast paced and excited dialogue.

Also, it lays out the theme of the story.
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I'm sure you will know for yourself if it works when you read your finished script.

As I think about it one interpretation of this that I can see could work is if the story was scary and when being told to those around the speaker with the right lighting etc, their reactions would be enough to carry the piece and make it very watchable.

Or as also mentioned above - if the speaker was in some out of the ordinary situation (example above tied to a chair) - then it becomes watchable rather than just being spoken to the camera.

So in short - yes I think it can be done with the right imagination.

Good luck with it - sounds intriguing!
 
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It is actually a funny story, in a thriller. From the story we take a lesson, which applies to the hero arc. He won't be tied down, holding a flashlight or doing a keg stand. He'll be sitting, then standing up to act out parts of the story, drinking a beer, along with all the other friends who are also drinking beer. The location is an ice house in the middle of a frozen lake. The characters are young friends, one of them back home for the first time in a very long time. It happens in the lead up to the midpoint, but it might read as the midpoint now... not sure. I'll take a day off before I try to arrive to any conclusions. I think it phucking rocks! I am sure I can make it better, always can.
 
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