Change your expectations, change your luck, change your life.

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Barry_Green

Moderator
If anyone out there thinks that they just have bad luck, or they're constantly a victim, or any of that stuff... take a look at this article. It's flat-out fascinating. I've always believed that life turns out just about how you'd expect it to, and if you want more -- you should expect more. This article puts it to a scientific test, and the results are pretty darn interesting.

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/lifeslittlepleasures/how-to-get-lucky-2389062/
 
I pretty much agree with this. I still think luck plays a small part in things but if you bust your ass to make things happen, chances are they will.

I think this applies to many things in life. Raising kids as well. I hate it when someone says "Oh, your daughter is so well behaved, you're so lucky!"

Luck had nothing to do with it. It's hard work.

MAH
 
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca

What I found was most fascinating in the study was the bit about the newspaper. Lucky people just saw what was there, and took advantage of it. Unlucky people could only see what they were looking for. Reminds me of THIS.
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I AGREE
 
Barry_Green said:
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca
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I had a science teacher in high school... he said this all the time and it's never left me.

Upon seeing you quote this (before this reply) I immediately began looking for him online... I gotta' find that guy. There are so many days that I think about what a great teacher he was... and what a great person he was.

The gravity of that quote will hit everyone sooner or later. It's the foundation of my life's biggest triumphs and regrets.
 
I do agree that people make their own opportunities. It's how I've lived my entire life.

That said, I think having a lot of money helps too.
 
Mark Harris said:
Agreed. I do think this whole thing is true, but relative.
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I do agree with the gist of the article...But there are still factors that are based on totally random luck. Being born into privilege is probably the highest form of it, as you have no control over who your parents are, and generally the social and economic status of your parents is the single biggest predictor of where you'll end up in life.
 
Batutta said:
I do agree with the gist of the article...But there are still factors that are based on totally random luck. Being born into privilege is probably the highest form of it, as you have no control over who your parents are, and generally the social and economic status of your parents is the single biggest predictor of where you'll end up in life.
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Right, we're saying the same thing. Someone born poor can still learn to recognize the opportunities that ARE before him/her, but those opportunities will never be as good as the person born to privilege. That's what I meant by it being relative.
 
Batutta said:
I do agree with the gist of the article...But there are still factors that are based on totally random luck. Being born into privilege is probably the highest form of it, as you have no control over who your parents are, and generally the social and economic status of your parents is the single biggest predictor of where you'll end up in life.
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Not in America, my friend. No need to start a debate on it, but while being born of privilege may afford someone an opportunity that being broke doesn't, in the end it doesn't mean a thing. Y'all gotta start somewhere. Everyone has to open their eyes, take responsibility for their own actions, quit worrying about who they were born to, and never complain about the hand of cards that someone else got dealt, because every one of us has the capability to make the best and the most of our circumstances.

I'm not going to bore you with my own story or the stories of many of the millionaires I know, who were born piss-poor with absolutely no pedigree to speak of, who have faced eviction and nigh unto bankruptcy, but who have eventually overcome all that to live what (as the article says) is a charmed life.

It is almost entirely about attitude. Attitude, and hard work.

If someone looks for an excuse to fail, guess what -- they'll find one. Look for reasons to succeed instead -- and those are what you'll find.

If you want to know the single biggest predictor of where you'll end up in life -- look in the mirror. If you do your homework and you work hard, you can end up just about anywhere you want to. If you expect someone to hand you something, you'll end up in a trailer wearing wifebeaters and living for Saturday so you can drink more beer.

If genetics has anything to do with it at all, or I was going to attribute "bad luck" to anything like that, it would be to those who are born with a handicap or as a crack baby or something like that. If you've got that kind of background, then yeah, life might have dealt you a rough hand. But if you've got two functional arms and two functional legs and a working brain and a work ethic, then worrying about where you were born is (IMO) a cop-out. Just go out and get the job done, live with passion, learn what you need to, and work like a madman.

There are lots of stories out there and even studies done on lottery winners. On average, two years later, most lottery winners are right back where they started. They blow through their winnings and let their prevailing attitudes sink them right back where they were. The only thing that can change your situation, is a change in your attitude and work ethic. Throwing money at someone will never elevate them out of their circumstances long-term.

Trump would still be Trump, even if his daddy had been some broke immigrant. After all, Trump's daddy was ... wait for it ... the son of some broke German immigrants. :D
 
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Mark Harris said:
but those opportunities will never be as good as the person born to privilege. That's what I meant by it being relative.
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Disagree 100%. How can you say the opportunities will "never" be as good? Opportunities are what you make of them. Granted, those born poor will never have "success" handed to them on a silver plate, but then again, we don't value what we're given anyway. We value what we work for. Look at the dynasties created by the major industrialists, whose family members squandered it or lost their way. It's all in the attitude. ALL. Ain't in the pedigree.

Again, I know many millionaires and successful businesspeople. But I can't think of a single one I know who has a "famous" last name (or, if the name is coincidentally the same as a 'famous' one, they sure ain't related).
 
Barry_Green said:
Not in America, my friend. No need to start a debate on it, but while being born of privilege may afford someone an opportunity that being broke doesn't, in the end it doesn't mean a thing. Y'all gotta start somewhere.
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It's not just about being poor. It can be a dysfunctional, broken home, it can be a violent environment, lack of education. There are a million disadvantages one can have that arise just out of who to and where you are born. Not everyone can overcome their disadvantages and succeed, try as they might. It just doesn't always happen and sometimes its the fault of the person, but sometimes bad luck plays a role...Just as good things can happen to those who keep trying and create the circumstances for their success, bad things can happen to good, hard working people for absolutely no reason. And not everyone lives in America...I guess it also depends on how you define success.
 
I see what you're saying, but -- did you read that article?

Like I said, anyone who looks for reasons to fail, will find them. There are thorns on every rose. Some people avoid roses because they hate the thorns. Those people, of course, are missing out on roses.

On your points -- I'm not going to tell you how many of those apply in my life or in the lives of those I know who have overcome many if not all of those things, but let's just say that it's just as common for successful folks to come from broken homes, dysfunctional families, and abusive backgrounds.

I don't know if it's anecdotal or true, but there's the story of two brothers who came from a broken home with a drunken, abusive father and a violent background of poverty. One brother grew to be a happy and successful businessman with a great family life; the other grew up to be a drunken violent criminal. When they were asked why their lives turned out the way they did, each gave the same answer:
"With a father like that, how could I have turned out any other way?"
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Anyway, the information's out there for those who are interested. :) I hope it helps anyone who's been struggling, to see the benefits and hopefully change their attitudes, change their expectations, and - ultimately - change their lives.
 
While random chance can certainly drop a $20 bill at your feet - or an out-of-control SUV on your head - the whole concept of 'luck' is basically BS because it assumes that the universe in general takes an interest in your doings or fate one way or the other, and sends you benefical or baneful things in consequence. Really, it's a remarkably conceited way of perceiving the world - the universe loves me! - or, of course, the universe hates me! Either way the proposition is nonsensical unless one actually happens to have compelling, verifiable evidence to support it.

Of course luck is a marvelous way to dodge responsibility, too. It's not *my* fault, I'm unlucky!

Of the people whom I know who came from wealthy - I mean, wealthy - families, what I would describe as their life-performance has been mediocre at best, and appalling at worst. I'm not suggesting a direct causal link (though I sometimes suspect one) but it sure seems to undermine the notion that your parents' bank balance at the time of your birth is in and of itself particularly determinative of future success.
 
I highly recommend the book "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell to anyone with an interest in this topic. He looks at dozens of success stories of people, and specifically focuses in on how they got their opportunities and how they took advantage of them. And Gladwell is a really enjoyable writer to boot.
 
Sad Max said:
While random chance can certainly drop a $20 bill at your feet - or an out-of-control SUV on your head - the whole concept of 'luck' is basically BS because it assumes that the universe in general takes an interest in your doings or fate one way or the other, and sends you benefical or baneful things in consequence. Really, it's a remarkably conceited way of perceiving the world - the universe loves me! - or, of course, the universe hates me! Either way the proposition is nonsensical unless one actually happens to have compelling, verifiable evidence to support it.

Of course luck is a marvelous way to dodge responsibility, too. It's not *my* fault, I'm unlucky!
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Agree...I said luck when I really meant random chance...I apologize if I've been a little snarky today...Had one of those mornings where you wake up edgy for no damn reason. Maybe I should hit the treadmill and burn it off.
 
i don't think i put any stock in luck. good or bad. i just stick with being as attentive and engaged as i can. i saw a post on facebook recently about filmmakers being afraid of success. and i couldn't understand why *everyone* who commented re-affirmed this idea that they are scared of it and acknowledged varying degrees of self-sabotage. i still don't understand that. and i don't understand giving oneself an excuse to fail. why? i'm not trying to be holier than thou here, i just don't understand what's so scary about it.
 
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