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aspiring director

aspiring director

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Hey,
Havent been on in a while...college is hectic. :)

Anyways I was sitting around and came up with a very very rough idea for a movie. I know it seems rather cheesy at this point in time, but I plan on tightening it up when I find the time... Thanks in advance for any constructive criticism. :)

Here goes:
After listening to Keke Palmer's Hood Anthem song and watching some movies, I thought about having a school in an impoverished area of a city. The neighborhood is not the best with ex-criminals, drug dealers, and gangs running around. BUT there is a gem in the hood, a high school [thats run down and falling apart] that excels in basketball. The boys and girls teams have always produced winning teams and the community is really behind them. A lot of the players get scholarships to colleges to play ball. Close to this neighborhood is a rich, upper class area with their private schools. Despite the affluent area, their teams, well, they suck in sports.

The plot hovers around a girl from the rich side of town who transfers schools to come to the poor school. Her only goal is to come over, play for the girls team, and win and get a college scholarship. [She has an "I" mentality when first coming over. She's used to being the star]. She cannot stand playing at her private school because the team is always losing and she wants to get a full ride to a college. Her thinking is that if the college doesnt offer a scholarship, then your playing time is limited. So, basically the girls dislike this "newbie" coming to their school, only trying to get noticed. There are problems and stuff as one might imagine. But eventually, they come together and appreciate each other...but not after a lot of drama and cat fights!

Yeah so that is the basics. Havent really decided where the story is going; that was just what I thought of. Of course it needs a focus of where its going. But think of those ideas as puzzle pieces...I just havet put the puzzle together yet. Thanks again!
 
My first impression is that it works toward reinforcing the idea that the only way for impoverished kids to make it out of their neighborhood, is through sports. Which does not impress me as an idea that ought to be pushed any harder or further than it has already gone.
 
It is a very cliched concept, sounds like alot of sports movies.

But maybe you can feed some originality into it as you said this was just a rough idea but right now it sounds like a pretty stale storyline.

I wish you luck in finishing it though and i hope you can put your own twist on it.
 
^^ Thats true but thats not the main focus of the movie. Its more about the team becoming a family and learning to cope with others differences. Think of it as more of these kids want to attend college and cannot pay for it or cant get a loan...so they want to play ball because A. it keeps them off the streets and away from gangs and B. its a means to get to college to pursue their dream of whatever they want. Whether its to open their own business or become a doctor. The sports is just the springboard to their future goals.

Thank you for the feeback.
 
It's ground that's been covered to death, before.

But if you can find something new to do with it, you could turn it into a winner, I guess.
 
I'm wondering, why does she need a college scholarship is she's from a rich school? Can't she just pay? And if she was really a good player, 1) she'd get noticed and 2) Her rich school team would be winning. So I think she needs a better motivation for playing in the hood.
It's true what others are saying, that this is familiar territory, but that cuts two ways--fish out of water/rich girl poor girl/high school stories are deep wells that will continue to provide sustenance for hollywood. The trick is to find a fresh angle--you don't have that yet but keep trying.
 
^^Well, in her mind, if the college doesnt give you the scholarship, then they are not that into you and might or might not play. When the college gives a scholarship, that means they want you. And when you think of private schools, you dont always think of winning, ie Yale or Harvard. But I also think that her private school friends dont care so much about sports and would rather be doing something else.

idk but I also could reverse the roles and have it vice versa. Like a poor girl from the hood gets taken in by her rich uncle. [She has no clue where her father is, and her mom works three jobs to support them but she wants her daughter to have more so she lives with the uncle or something like that]. She then moves to a more affluent area and has to cope with that. Plus she is a die hard bball athlete trying to fit in with the team, who of course look down upon her.
 
It might not be important, what specific set of circumstances you choose, to propel the characters where you want them to go. Since it's going to be formulaic whichever variations you choose, make it an actor's piece so that your audience gets hooked on the characters whether they've seen the broad story before, or not.
 
Hi Aspiring,

As everyone has said, it sort seems kind of done already, but maybe it isn't the story isn't the story you want to tell.

I think the story you got is that she's really uncomfortable with herself. The conflict that she has is inside. She doesn't know who she is or who she wants to become. Most likely that's the reason that others find it difficult to be around her and accept her, perhaps not everyone, but most.

Resolving that internal conflict is likely will be key to making your story interesting. Finding out why that is and discovering who she is will engage the audience.
 
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