Actor friend creates a fanpage but many of their close actor friends haven't liked it

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filmmakerguy

Member
My eyes have really been opened lately as to what goes on between actors that us filmmakers may not see. I think for the most part, directors will wish other filmmakers the best of luck on things because we don't really see ourselves directly competing against the next director. We'll go and like your fan page, we'll wish you success and talk you up, etc. However actors on the other hand, are a little different with one another. I've heard it's competitive amongst actors but I had no idea.

I've began to notice this when a friend of mine created a facebook fan page for their acting stuff and many of their closest friends have not went and liked it. I'm talking actors they have hanged out with, drank with, partied with, etc. People you think would really be in their corner.

I don't quite understand the dynamic of it, but maybe you can relate. Maybe you have some friends on facebook who are actors and they got fanpages for their acting stuff or maybe even their latest movie project. It publicly tells you which mutual friends like it, so it's clear to see who doesn't.

Thoughts?
 
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I think it depends on the city. Here, in Montreal, the community is very tight. Everyone in a given age knows all of the other actors as we routinely see them in audition rooms. We're all friends, so there is a lot of mutual support here. Perhaps in areas with larger competition this may be an issue? I'll experience it more when i move to Toronto later in the year.
 
PaPa said:
I think it depends on the city. Here, in Montreal, the community is very tight. Everyone in a given age knows all of the other actors as we routinely see them in audition rooms. We're all friends, so there is a lot of mutual support here. Perhaps in areas with larger competition this may be an issue? I'll experience it more when i move to Toronto later in the year.
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That's fascinating. Maybe that's a Canada thing, people from Canada seem to be nicer, lol. I guess filmmakers get their share of it too. I'm sure lots of directors on here can relate to creating a movie fan page and some of your close friends and former actors you've worked with don't go and like it. I guess all you can say is not everyone is going to share in your passion as much as you are.

People are strange sometimes. They'll go and like potato chips, target, tons of different pages, and the most trivial BS on facebook, but when you got something personal to you, they won't go and like the page.

I think we as filmmakers have to find new ways to engage and stir up a fan base and it starts with our immediate circle. How can you even be close friends with someone who doesn't like your fan page for what you're doing, be it your production company or your acting page? It's sort of like they really could care less about supporting what you're all about. I understand if other people you barely know don't, but the people you hang out with on a close level? That's got to be a really bizarre dynamic.

Maybe us directors are a little more supportive because we see the value in it. We're all fighting for awareness and exposure and if we see a fellow filmmaker with a fanpage, who's also a good person and friend, we'll go and like it because we understand the challenges of raising awareness.
 
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I mean, it's a pretty basic idea that revolves around ego and envy. So in that sense it's pretty clear.
 
One thing I find to be really frustrating though are the filmmakers who send requests to like their page or what they are doing and they don't like anything you are doing, or anything others are doing. They're all like, "everyone please go and like my page!" and are begging for support yet they don't support anything anyone else is doing.

Facebook is really turning into a weird high school thing to me. lol
 
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PaPa said:
I mean, it's a pretty basic idea that revolves around ego and envy. So in that sense it's pretty clear.
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Honestly I don't know how to explain it and it's got my actor friend a little sad that some of the people they hang out with haven't liked their fanpage. I think us as filmmakers/directors probably have a thicker skin because we put ourselves out there a lot more and promote the hell out of stuff we do, and are used to some people just not liking what we do/taking criticism, and this actor is just now really heavily trying to promote themself by getting a fanpage going. It's sort of a new thing to them to see where that line is drawn and who really is supportive and in their corner and interested in their success.
 
Well, it's not a joke. The whole concept of "likes" has created more feuds and rifts and bruised feelings and undue assumptions, not to mention false senses of accomplishment, than much of anything else I can think of over recent years.
 
David Jimerson said:
Well, it's not a joke. The whole concept of "likes" has created more feuds and rifts and bruised feelings and undue assumptions, not to mention false senses of accomplishment, than much of anything else I can think of over recent years.
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You're probably right. There is probably someone out there right now who is pissed at me because I didn't like their page for XYZ Whatever and it's likely because I just didn't see it or I'm not really all that into it, to want to see updates on it...but I still like them as a person.

At the same time we are in a new era of social interaction. If you delete someone on facebook, you are essentially saying, we are no longer friends. People are constantly assessing who their friends are now based on who is interacting with them, who posts on their wall, who stays in contact, who do they hang out with in real life, who really supports what they're doing.

Is it really an undue assumption? Because I find more and more that it does bother people! I just talked to a filmmaker who said they have gone to filmmaking events, they have let people borrow their gear, they have liked their pages, they have gone out of their way to be a good person and a friend, yet these people don't go and like their page. Filmmakers are an odd group sometimes. Is it an undue assumption when it's these people that aren't being supportive? When it's the former actors/crew you've worked with not being supportive? When it's your close actor friends (if you're an actor) not being supportive?

I think at that point, maybe you do have to re-examine things in this new social era of interaction.
 
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Sure, it's an undue assumption. There are many things I simply prefer not to do in front of the whole world. Conducting friendships is one.

Not to mention the awkwardness of the expectation that if you're my "friend," you must publicly register your support for whatever it is I do. That sounds like a demand for ego-stroking rather than genuine friendship.
 
David Jimerson said:
Sure, it's an undue assumption. There are many things I simply prefer not to do in front of the whole world. Conducting friendships is one.

Not to mention the awkwardness of the expectation that if you're my "friend," you must publicly register your support for whatever it is I do. That sounds like a demand for ego-stroking rather than genuine friendship.
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Well I don't know your situation, but I'm assuming that your friends know you're a talented person, you have great videos on lighting and sound and I'm assuming that maybe a lot of your friends probably seek your approval on things and want your support. Sort of like, David liked my movie or actor fanpage sort of deal or whatever, it probably makes them feel good.

I don't know, I think at the end of the day that is what friendship is about. It's about making the people in your life feel good. And if liking their page and showing support for something they love and are passionate about, where their heart really is in life....I think that's what a friend does. I agree with you, that doesn't suddenly make you a TRUE friend or anything..but it does make you a better one. Because there are some people who have so called "best friends" but these are the friends who wouldn't come and help you if your car broke down. They wouldn't be there for you when you really need them. And in many ways, trying to be a filmmaker or set out to achieve something bigger than yourself...is kind of like your car broken down on the side of the road. You do need help, you do need to get the word out. You're trying to do something bigger than get home after having a flat tire.

I don't know, I think a lot of life is about perspective and how you frame things. And that's what makes us all so unique. You've got a different perspective on it which I find fascinating, would love to hear more people's thoughts on it.
 
I'm not sure it has anything to do with envy or competition. I think MOST people are just plain lazy. That's just human nature. You aren't going to do something unless there is some payoff for you at some level. That's pretty basic and fundamental. If being part of the group doesn't mean anything to you, then what's the point? And people all too often measure the value of something by the number of likes it has, when in reality the stat really means nothing.
 
Snazzy Flapper said:
I'm not sure it has anything to do with envy or competition. I think MOST people are just plain lazy. That's just human nature. You aren't going to do something unless there is some payoff for you at some level. That's pretty basic and fundamental. If being part of the group doesn't mean anything to you, then what's the point? And people all too often measure the value of something by the number of likes it has, when in reality the stat really means nothing.
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I agree that people at times are lazy, but seriously, you're talking about clicking a like button. I really don't think people are that lazy, lol, or laziness can be to blame because they are going out and liking the most trivial things like starbucks, target, walmart, whole foods, random odd pages that are just phrases. They know how to click like and are doing it every which way on all sorts of things without care.

Going back to the original topic, I just don't see why someone who you hang out with on a personal level AND share a similar passion with of acting (an actor friend) wouldn't like your acting fan page. At the same time, as a filmmaker/producer/director, if you hang out with a guy on a regular basis and talk about movie stuff, have let them borrow your gear or have helped them on a shoot or whatever and you got a production company page or whatever and they don't like it...it may sound trivial but that's the business we are in. The business of exposure. Every small bit of support helps.

And a hot topic that filmmaker friends of mine have talked about is how some actors are really bad at promoting anything they work on. That might be another topic but I just don't think laziness is the reason.
 
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Facebook, Twitter, and all of those social media sites, they are.......well, for me.......just something to do.

I don't hold any stock in how they are supposed to revolutionize marketing and such. It's just hype. I use FB as just a way to keep in touch with people basically. And a place to "hang out" when I am bored and have nothing to do.

But my actor friends, I have a close relationship with them, and when they post something, I try to check it out, and like it, or comment. They do the same for me. But what does that do for either of us? Nothing, except show that we are in each others corner. But in the grand scheme, it really doesn't do anything for your career. It is just for the warm fuzzies.
 
filmmakerguy said:
but these are the friends who wouldn't come and help you if your car broke down. They wouldn't be there for you when you really need them.
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Well, that's kind of my point. If you're taking the absence of a "like" on Facebook as the equivalent of this, then that's a problem.

And people do, which is part of my dislike for Facebook.

Which isn't to say I don't click "like" and support things -- of course I do, especially when asked -- but I get irritated when it becomes a bellwether for how you supposedly "really" think of them.

I dunno; in many ways, Facebook feels like high school. This probably isn't a coincidence, considering its origins, but I left high school 23 years ago and was happy never to have to set foot in it again. Now, exactly the same kinds of pettiness and popularity contests go on in Facebook. I just don't have any interest in that.

It's worse when there's no clear line between what you do as a professional and what you do as a personal thing, especially when one can severely disrupt, or at least affect, the other.
 
Snazzy Flapper said:
I'm not sure it has anything to do with envy or competition. I think MOST people are just plain lazy. That's just human nature. You aren't going to do something unless there is some payoff for you at some level. That's pretty basic and fundamental.
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I think it's probably this more than anything. You can't just make a page, or a twitter account, and automatically expect everyone you know to follow it. You have to make it compelling and that's easier said than done. I have a twitter feed and FB page for my doc (**shameless plug**Looking For Lenny available on VOD and streaming) and few of my friends and acquaintances follow/like either.

Not to be callous but these days everyone knows someone with a project going on so just the fact that you are doing something isn't enough because you and a billion other people are doing things too (something like 48hrs of content is uploaded to YouTube every minute). On one hand it would be great if friends fully and unconditionally supported everything every one of their friends did but on the other hand that isn't realistic and this isn't elementary school where everyone gets a high-five just for showing up. People only have so much time and so much money (if you are doing Kickstarter or whatever) so you need to give people a more compelling reason to back your play than just "Hey, I started a page. Love me."

On a slightly related note...
I remember back in Indiana years ago the indie film scene there was tiny, like a few dozen regulars at most, and this rift formed with some people supporting person X and other supporting person Y (I don't remember over what). And I was like, really? There's barely enough people to crew a real production and you guys are getting in a stupid pissing contest over some dumb crap in an area that's probably ranked the 5,876 best place to be an indie film maker in the US? Seriously? At that point I stopped trying to get involved.


-Andrew
 
Yep - personally I'm not on Facebook much. When I am, I tend to actually only like something on Facebook that I actually really like.

Likewise, I try to only add people on Facebook as friends that I'm actually friends with.

If people get pissed off that I don't like their page, then why would I be friends with them anyway?

People who think that what's standing between them and success is that not enough people like their page... need to focus on creating awesomeness instead. So that people, you know, like their page voluntarily.

Personally I want my friends to treat me the same way. If I make something bloody brilliant that it actually makes my friends like it, then it actually means something...

Of course, I reserve the right to change this policy in the future. Like if someone I know and used to help out with free VFX get a tons of Twitter followers... when my feature is coming out I will bug the hell out of them if they don't promote me too :)

I stick my website at the end of every post - but it's mainly just because personally I like being able to see what the background of a guy who's posting is. So now if people want to know about me, they can click on it and see the awesome out-of-date single-JPEG website (with spelling mistakes) that sums up my life.

Bruce Allen
www.boacinema.com
 
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I had to smile reading this! Actors are the most insecure and insincere people you could possibly hope to meet! Paranoid would describe some, while others are totally immune to good or bad comments. 'Fragile' would be a good word. Doesn't matter how famous they are.

Knock on dressing room door, and go in to see the very well known actress, always on UK TV and has been for probably 30 odd years. Still on weekday TV every week. She tells me she hates it here, she thinks everyone hates her, and she just wants to go home. I ask her if she wants to do a BBC interview tomorrow? She tells me to tell them to f... o.. I tell the BBC she is so sorry, but she has a prior engagement. Next day in her dressing room she hears something happening in the dressing room next door - occupied by another actor. "what's happening in there?" The BBC are in doing an interview. "why didn't they ask me?" They did, you told me to tell them to f... o.. With this she puts on the makeup, does her hair and then without knocking, bursts into next door interrupting the interview "Oh, I'm so sorry darling - I didn't know you were busy..." The interviewer asks her to join in and they start by asking how she is enjoying it? "It's super here, everyone is so nice I just love coming here, people are so friendly..."

As for Facebook - some love it, but others refuse to go on - maybe even not wanting a fan page where people cannot comment. Actors can be so insecure that any form of criticism absolutely cuts them dead - they just can't take it. Put two together and they love each other, but split them apart and they both tell you how much they hate the other. Competition is fierce - the production team never have to audition for their jobs, do they? Actors go for the call and try to impress, by acting - who can tell if anything they say is the real them. They have work based bi-polar. They need egos massaged, and forelocks tugged as appropriate. They are not 'normal' whatever normal is. Social networking is very dodgy for performers because they can find out what people really think.
 
i think the bigger issue here is why it upsets you so much that someone doesn't click a "like" button.
 
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