A REAL short-11 pages and One location for sale!

2doors

Active member
Ok, here is a short that I was working on about a month ago and decided to finish off in the past few days. It's 11 pages, very dialogue-based and all in one location. It's a romantic-comedy short so any directors willing to sink their teeth into this, please let me know.



INT. CAFE
Sandra takes a sip of her tea while David shuffles around restlessly, trying to silently urge Sandra to say the first word.

DAVID
Sandra, I’ve been looking at you drink that same cup of coffee for the past ten minutes

SANDRA
Five

DAVID
Can’t you just tell me what this is about?

SANDRA
I will
Sandra continues with her cup of coffee

SANDRA
After I finish this

DAVID
It’s money isn’t it? Why didn’t you just tell me on the phone?

SANDRA
It’s not money

DAVID
Why did I have to come all the way over to this place for you to say what you could have said over the phone

SANDRA
It’s not money

DAVID
Sandra, as much as I love you; I have a life. The only reason that I’m here is because I was voted employee of the month, so the boss allowed this one to slide.

SANDRA
David, it’s not about money. I am...okay financially. Not great, but I am okay.

DAVID
If it’s not about money, then...
Sandra points to her cup of coffee

DAVID
You’re telling me now...before you finish that cup of coffee, you’re going to tell me.
A guy walks into the Cafe, Jake, and walks to Sandra and David’s table.

SANDRA
Hey, how are you?
Sandra kisses Jake on the cheek

SANDRA
Jake, this is David
Jake puts his hand out to shake David. David reluctantly shakes his hand

JAKE
Sandra talks a lot about you. I hope not all the things she says are true.

DAVID
They aren’t
Jake turns to Sandra

JAKE
Well, I’m gonna get myself some coffee and it’s back to the office.
SANDRA
Don’t work too hard

JAKE
With the team I have, I don’t do any of the work.
Jake waves goodbye to both Sandra and David

DAVID
He seems nice. I’m happy for you.
SANDRA
Thank you. It’s good of you to be mature about this

DAVID
I am, he seems alright. Perfetly alright.
Sandra stares blankly at David

DAVID
What?

SANDRA
Just say it

DAVID
Two words, after-shave

SANDRA
That’s one word

DAVID
Any guy with after-shave like that, is a two timer. It’s a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand

SANDRA
I don’t need to because I’m not going out with him and he’s married.
David tries to hide his smirk as he glances over at Jake

DAVID
After-shave

SANDRA
I thought it smelt quite nice, actually

DAVID
Sandra, let’s just get this over with.

SANDRA
David, I promise you; I would not drag you all the way from work if it wasn’t important.

DAVID
Just tell me, what’s wrong

SANDRA
I never said anything was wrong, I just said it was important.

DAVID
If it’s too serious to talk about now, then I’ll give you some time and space. Maybe this evening or something

SANDRA
It’s not that important

DAVID
If it isn’t, then why haven’t you told me already.
 
nice

nice

Hello..

I know it will make me look like the black sheep in this forum.. but im not much of a reader.. although i enjoy writing. However, your little portion of your short was quite captivating :) and i must add, its very very very hard for me to stay interested in anything with lots of words.. im.. already losing concentration on my OWN writing.. must.. finish ...text.. aerghhh
 
Hehe. It's a rather wordy script, but I think good actors can make it work.

My guess is that Jake is Sandra's brother. Am I right or wrong?
 
Hello..

I know it will make me look like the black sheep in this forum.. but im not much of a reader.. although i enjoy writing. However, your little portion of your short was quite captivating :) and i must add, its very very very hard for me to stay interested in anything with lots of words.. im.. already losing concentration on my OWN writing.. must.. finish ...text.. aerghhh

Good to see it has lead to some captivation. You....must....finish....your....writing....trust me, ive been there before.
 
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