What do you when you've committed a crime?

I was floored... Not just by the technical aspects, but by the idea. This was a strong film for me.

As a believer of God you hear so much about forgiving others; but sometimes it is truly harder to forgive yourself. Powerful.

Love your Lewis quote too by the way.
 
Ok, I'll admit it; this was the first film i've seen by you. I just watched the rest of your work on Vimeo.. You have some awesome skill. Please keep working!
 
Hmmm... I'm sorry to say I don't share the same enthusiasm as UncleBenji. My main issue with the film is the Voice Over. It really brought the production value down. Your(?) acting skills just weren't up to par, and it reflects in the monotone, "reading from the script", no emotion VO. Not only that, but the sound quality itself seemed to lack any range.

As far as technical aspects, some of the shots had potential, but the lack of light killed it. Even just one hard backlight or keylight could have really pumped up the shot to give it the dramatic feel you were after.

Camera movement would also have really helped out. From the looks of this, I'm thinking maybe you shot the entire thing yourself?? If that's the case, that's all fine and dandy, but because there's really not an interesting shot to catch your attention visually (i.e. see lack of light statement above), the static camera just added to the negative's.

I'm not trying to rip it apart, but giving the critique you asked for. It seems like the idea for the short was executed in haste without any preparation or attention to detail. I'm not saying you need to bring on an entire crew, but definitely play with light, and you could even re-shoot the voice over.

Good luck, and again, I'm only pointing out the negative's to give you something to work on.

-brown
 
Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate them! As a student, I want to learn as much as possible...

In terms of the reading of the VO, I directed the actor to read in a monotonous tone which, with the lack of camera movement, I decided upon as a stylistic choice in order to bring across the kind of life the character is living. Yet I agree that I probably did not get that across very well.
The lighting was definitely a killer--you're right, I didn't have any lights (I also had to shoot night for day during the last shots, so I obviously killed too much of the light during the night scenes).

Ah, it is kind of a bummer that it was so obvious that it was a one person crew (plus one actor)... but once again, thanks for the critique--I've learned a lot!
 
Just a quick note. I thought it would have been cool to have the voiceover spoken as if he's telling someone what's going on. Or if the whole thing was mixed in with shots of him sitting at a table reading those lines. Like he's in a police room interrogation room!

Interesting concepts.

I also think there needs to be more light, creative light, contrast etc.

And, I wanted to see more of the whole crime happening thing. Because it could be really powerful.
 
i have two things to say. I liked the use of available and practical lighting. frankly it looks a hell of a lot more realistic than an artificially lit scene. i'm in the minority of that opinion, i know. but there are those of us who appreciate a higher degree of realism than is conventionally accepted. the second thought is that I would be interested if you could tell this story without VO. i began to wonder if turning the sound off would affect my understanding of the film. i don't think it would have. the imagery and VO were both conveying the same information with the exception of flasheing to the murder. idk, but dropping the VO and building a rich sound design of ambient fx might make for a more powerful experience. just thinking out loud here. nice work!

as an aside, i just watched The Swing and enjoyed your eye for natural light in that as well. it was constructed from what felt like very organic "of the moment" compositions. again, nice work.
 
Just perfect...!
The lighting was one of the things that I loved more...
Dont know if I liked the VO, and I have no idea If it could somehow be better or worse but I realy couldnt listen to it ...
Your images were speaking so loud!!!
 
I got the monotonous tone... It spoke of denial/resignation at the same time... To me anyway.

However, I might second Zak's comments. I would be interested to see it without the VO; because if you convey the same message without the spoken word; well that's pretty strong.

But I do like it how it is. I don't mind static shots at all either... The framing is nice there.
 
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