New Web Series: The Dancing Bunnies

I'm posting the scripts for the next 13 episodes.

I figured if anyone is interested this would be a great place to get some usable ideas. Looking for ideas from ANYBODY. Critiques welcome, suggestions welcome, FU's welcome. Anything and everything is welcome. Not moving fast enough? This seems awkward? This crap is boring? This will never work as a webseries? Bring it. It will help me make it better.

One thing I ask is that if you don't like something, offer me a solution. Thanks!!! I'm shooting these myself so any suggestions on script formating are welcome, but I'd rather have your story ideas. I know I have some formatting quirks... Here are the next 4 for now.

EPISODE SCRIPTS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
 
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just read the first script, nice, but who's DIVINA? I'm asuming its a name from your fdp que, put in by mistake, does she come up later?
 
Thanks for finding that DIVINA error.

Brian, I posted the 1st episode script.

CUE DEEP VOICE:

In 2009 Abe Frohman makes his last sausage.
 
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Hidden jokes are fun

Hidden jokes are fun

Because Jason it makes me laugh. Most people won't know who abe frohman is and it's a porn name... so I wanted it to be ridiculous. Plus you never really see his name until we see the box cover to the porn tape. It's so fast that 95% of the people will never get it. And it's a great name for a porn guy being the Sausage King Of California.

It's even funnier if it's played straight. :)
 
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On the topic of high speed comedy, was the line about the San Fernando Valley being "Beautiful" meant as humor? Made me laugh. Loved it.
 
HAHAHAHA.... Yah I know... jeeeez.

You'll see :)

Ummm Brian the SF Valley is Beautiful :) FU. :)

I promise there will be lots of hotties in the first 7 episodes though.
 
Quick Update:

Verlaine or "Dancing Bunnies" as it's referred to on DVXUSER has been selected to play at the 2009 Santa Barbara International Film Festival.

If you're around the area come watch it on the big screen and say hi. It plays thursday and saturday.

Shorts Program 4 29 Jan (Thu) 9:30pm Victoria Hall
Shorts Program 4 31 Jan (Sat) 10:00am Santa Barbara Museum of Art
 
Simply awesome.

You successfully captured sight, sound, and motion. I loved the exterior location and the music score. I questioned the 2nd piece of pie, thinking it was to continue to charade, but he ordered it to go. Man, this guy really likes pie. Nicely done. Only 1 minor detail I was not crazy about, the Salesman left fingerprints on the car. It's a pet peeve of mine. What was your budget?

I am sold. I look forward to viewing the rest of the series. Again, congrats.
 
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Thank you Sean.

The budget was around 5k or 7k. I've really avoided trying to figure it out. Almost 3.5k of the budget was spent on the location.

The finger prints on the car, or lack of finger prints is addressed in the very next episode. Yes I had to backtrack to fix that detail.

It was a huge mistake that he wasn't wearing gloves because the script called for gloves. The actor actually had surgical gloves in his pockets, but because were so rushed to get the shots he never put them on. And I didn't see it. Woopsies.

Thanks again for the nice words. I can't wait to show you the rest.
 
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