Heaven, U.S.A Vimeo private screening!

[hoz]

spoiler ---

lets see, story- plus! liked it, held my interest and i did see a resolution at the end, the girl found faith, she was moved by the boy's efforts to believe, so much so that she was now open to her brother's faith. maybe better connecting the two plots would be more interesting but for me it was not necessary.

acting- it was fine. it really didnt distract me from the story.

the look= awesome, i really loved that you went outside and ran around! good for you! i too think it is too cool to shoot the world out there. it is so big! and you gave your film a giant look to it. also- loved the look of the store- the boy walking through the aisles was a great choice. way to go in making an ordinary place look extraordinary. you did this in a couple of other places too, i see much effort here!

music- great! the music was spot on for the boy's run from the girl.

things to improve- other people already commented on the lighting. i'd also add a small thing, zooming. there were a couple of times when you zoomed in tight on a face. other people might like it, i don't. it makes it feel a bit cheesy or forced, like "oops, how do i show the clerk is watching the boy?" oh, and cuts from brother to sister in the beginning walk looked a bit forced too. maybe take the time to better set up the shot. not easy i am sure while filming on a busy street so take my words for what they are, words. but i wanted to give you something to see in a different way?

great job! thank you for sharing your work!

 

[Charlie06]

Hey Hoz!! Thank you so much for commenting!

Definitely the lighting I am learning more, and have been very crucial with in the last feature I've been D.Ping for. I'm also takin a cinematography class which focuses on advanced lighting just for this reason

I'm glad that you appreciate the fact that there are a lot of exteriors in the movie, it sorta stands out from the conversation of the dark lit room between two people and some kind of secret file being passed on deal doesn't it?

The store scene was a lot of fun shooting, and I'm glad to see it payed off, and it added to the film, the beginning 2 shots of that scenes (The steadicam shot starting in his hand to a medium shot and the following from the other side of the isle) were thought out at the spot.

You got me there in the store scene shot with the zoom in.
I freaking said the exact thing you said
"How do I show her looking, from a wideshot, you can barely see her!"
The scene was storyboarded, and included a closeup on the boy as he dissappeard through the corner of an isle looking directly at the clerk, showing he knew she knew that he might do something, but the kid had trouble...well...looking...the way I wanted him to, so it was discarted, and replaced with the shot you see now
Glad you noticed it!!!!!

Everytime I watch it, I kind of twitch a little at that shot, which will forever remind me not to try to blend other cinematic styles within one scene.
The beginning scene...
I think I know what your talking about, 1 or 2 shots there do feel a little forced, especially the one where she tells him "she lost her job because..." Maybe this is what your talking about
Next time I might sprinkle a 2 shot in there

Location Location Location...
I wanted the perfect street, and found it, so it was pretty free for most of the time, there were no hurries, except losing sunlight, because it was right where I wanted it for the scene, it's my favorite scene, because the cinmatography feels like it flows well with the dialogue and mood, pulling people right in.

Yout "different way" comment was EXACTILY the kind of stuff I was looking for, thank you so much for your opinion, I can guarantee you won't see any of these problems in the next work I show you guys (unless they are very intentional and premeditated)

More opinions are welcome! I've gotten a PM about the details in my answers, and both the opinions and responses being helpful. So give me your comments and advice, as apparently there is a couple of people learning from this thread

 

[Charlie06]

Heaven, U.S.A will be cruising a short film festivals beginning '09
I've taken it to be seen by regular audiences as well as other filmmakers,
and it's gotten some ridiculous well feedback, so the least I can do is
see how it could perform with other shorts.

You can see it here: http://vimeo.com/1723240

One thing everyone loves and say just puts everything together is the music.
The soundtrack is composed by Toxu Kim, A Berlin composer whose understanding
of the emotion that I was trying to convey with Heaven, U.S.A was amazing,
and was a great addition to the team.

He really liked the story and did me the favor of creating the soundtrack
If you liked the film, thought the music was good, check him out.
http://www.myspace.com/toxukim
He is looking for other short/feature films to work on. He can do all
genres with great originality. I've realized that without a good soundtrack
you films will never stand out from the rest, so I'll be working with him
closely.

I'm starting a new film, called BIG EARS, which follows every single advice posted on this thread as well as the entire forum.
To be shot in Chicago again. Any Chicago crew looking to hop on different projects contact me It'll be a lot of fun.