The Watchman a Michael Anthony Horrigan Film

Geoff_R said:
I think your entry this time around is more disciplined, more intentional.. It's a better piece and worthy of better reviews. For the next fest, try to top yourself again. I think we learn best from watching our films days/weeks later and seeing all the little things we could do better. It's that ability which ultimately allows us to grow into full fledged filmmakers.
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I agree.

Thanks again!

I personally have seen a lot growth from many of the filmmakers this Fest.
If this kind of growth continues some of these guys will be making features in no time.
Some are already in the works!

Cheers,

Mike
 
I just wanted to concur with the general concensus that this was your best film to date. Even with all the problems you had, you turned out an accomplished work. Maybe pressure really does make diamonds!

One of my top picks.
 
Maximus said:
I just wanted to concur with the general concensus that this was your best film to date. Even with all the problems you had, you turned out an accomplished work. Maybe pressure really does make diamonds!

One of my top picks.
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Thanks, man. That means a lot.

I think I learned a fair amount during LoveFest.
Without DVXFest I would probably still be at one short film completed.
Thankfully they continue to get me off my arse.

Cheers,

Mike
 
Another grab from the Director's Cut.
Coming soon! :thumbup:

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Congrats again on getting through the weeds and getting this one done, Michael. Look forward to the director's cut and your next film!
 
I was excited to see this one, eventhough it's not really my favorite genre, (the killing people genre) but while you have some great stuff in there that others have mentioned, overall this short didn't work for me.

I agree that his motivation wasn't totally established. I saw the schedule, but it's too quick to read, and all I saw was "brush teeth 7:XX". I think you could've set up the story better by adding something about how he got this way. Maybe he started doing the neighborhoor watch thing and began taking detailed notes about everyone's schedules, and the OCD thing kicked in really hard and he started getting pscho about it. If he had big lists of everyone's timing with their trash, and then this one woman's was circled from the week before in a big red pen that she missed the trash.... THEN we see how deep the obsession goes. I wanted pages and pages of notes. If anyone starts writing their neighbors schedule down, eventually they'll see weird patterns emerge. Anyone might get suspicious. Maybe she hasn't taken out the trash in 3, 4, 5, weeks. Maybe he is a neat-freak and triple-bags his trash. Just some thoughts.

When we first go outside and hear the lawn mower I was confused as to which guy he was, because there's no clear shot of him before the binoculars scene, and no shot of him getting into the car, and why is he in his car anyway? For a while, I didn't know if he was the guy mowing the lawn, or the one in the car. I thought he was a neighbor, so he could see from his house.?? Maybe if you added a scene where he takes out HIS trash and is eyeing HER trash, and the watch, and his list, then, instead of going back inside the house, he sits in his car to get a better view and quick access to her trash... ...I don't know, just throwing out ideas here again.

The confrontation scene, when he is caught in her driveway, I didn't feel was convincing. I don't know what was missing for me, and it depends a lot on their previous interactions. It also depends on the reason he wants the trash to be out.
I would've liked a tug-of-war with the trash can, ending in it being spilled out with some interesting contents. Stuff that might make you think she is a killer??? We already know why (or should sorta know) he wants the trash OUT, but why does she want the trash IN?

For the murder scene, if the lists of schedules were established, and the time that the husband usually spends walking the dogs averaged, then, he gets the 6 minute window from there, rather than pulling this number out of thin air.
I liked the lock-off shot and reveal of Mr. hammer psycho-killer. It surprised me because I thought he was gonna come out of the shadow on the left... but he didn't...oooo. Very creepy. Great job on the suspense.
The setup for the murder just didn't seem like enough though. If this one woman was responsible for messing up his WHOLE perfect schedule, and she wouldn't submit to the watchman's timing, THEN, maybe I would see that by killing her, he could get everything back together, and his OCD world would be right again. As it is, I don't really feel like I would want her dead just yet.


I see it a lot in these short films that too much attention is payed to the actions of a character, rather than the feelings the character has as a result of GOING through those actions. While a closeup of the hammer and blood dripping is nice, I would prefer to see his face at that moment. It's an opportunity to do a nice rack focus (can you do that with an hv20?) from the hammer to his face, looking at it. Same with the washing the hands thing. It's a cool insert shot, but I want to see him looking in the mirror. THAT'S when you get to know a character, when they are looking at themselves. It might seem obvious, but I have noticed that a LOT more acting, emotion, feeling, etc... comes through the eyes than any other part of the body, especially hands, feet, and other limbs. I'm wishing to see less hands and feet acting and more face and eye acting on many entries, including yours.

One other gripe, and I have to dissagree with some here- The music didn't work for me. I know Justin does some great work here on many different shorts, but this one seemed phoned-in. I wished for more of an arc to the score, and a theme that would help us understand that this guy is pretty crazed about keeping everyone on schedule, and once he takes action and feels that the "problem" has been solved, is again settled. The score seemed one-dimensional, only playing the erie suspense angle.

I could nit-pick about other things, but these are the big ones. I hope my comments help, or at least present some food-for-thought.

The base you have created is very solid. The directing and camera work is very good, especially since you did it alone. I only needed a little more to feel for his character and really want her dead, and perhaps this is a piece that is hindered my the 6 minute time limit; I didn't feel there was much that should be taken out, just more to add.
I haven't seen any of your other movies yet, to see your progression, but this is a very well-done piece that you should be proud of. Congrats!
 
Awesome review! I'll comment below in bold...

yeehaanow said:
I was excited to see this one, eventhough it's not really my favorite genre, (the killing people genre) but while you have some great stuff in there that others have mentioned, overall this short didn't work for me.

Well, considering that you just stated that you don't like this type of movie... I'll take it with a grain of salt. :D

I agree that his motivation wasn't totally established. I saw the schedule, but it's too quick to read, and all I saw was "brush teeth 7:XX". I think you could've set up the story better by adding something about how he got this way. Maybe he started doing the neighborhoor watch thing and began taking detailed notes about everyone's schedules, and the OCD thing kicked in really hard and he started getting pscho about it. If he had big lists of everyone's timing with their trash, and then this one woman's was circled from the week before in a big red pen that she missed the trash.... THEN we see how deep the obsession goes. I wanted pages and pages of notes. If anyone starts writing their neighbors schedule down, eventually they'll see weird patterns emerge. Anyone might get suspicious. Maybe she hasn't taken out the trash in 3, 4, 5, weeks. Maybe he is a neat-freak and triple-bags his trash. Just some thoughts.

Cool thought! As you know, it just wasn't the list that substantiated his past with her, the conversation they had more than proved that they have a past of sorts. As for the other comments... I would love to put so many details in but alas... 6 minutes is a tough schedule.

When we first go outside and hear the lawn mower I was confused as to which guy he was, because there's no clear shot of him before the binoculars scene, and no shot of him getting into the car, and why is he in his car anyway? For a while, I didn't know if he was the guy mowing the lawn, or the one in the car. I thought he was a neighbor, so he could see from his house.?? Maybe if you added a scene where he takes out HIS trash and is eyeing HER trash, and the watch, and his list, then, instead of going back inside the house, he sits in his car to get a better view and quick access to her trash... ...I don't know, just throwing out ideas here again.

I think showing him in the car with binoculars is enough. I really don't need to show him getting in the car. Again... time is an issue here.

The confrontation scene, when he is caught in her driveway, I didn't feel was convincing. I don't know what was missing for me, and it depends a lot on their previous interactions. It also depends on the reason he wants the trash to be out.
I would've liked a tug-of-war with the trash can, ending in it being spilled out with some interesting contents. Stuff that might make you think she is a killer??? We already know why (or should sorta know) he wants the trash OUT, but why does she want the trash IN?

That would be lying to the audience and pointing them in a completely wrong direction. Something I'm not a fan of. Maybe for another movie... sure. I really didn't want to have anyone thinking she was a killer though??

For the murder scene, if the lists of schedules were established, and the time that the husband usually spends walking the dogs averaged, then, he gets the 6 minute window from there, rather than pulling this number out of thin air.

The times are established at the end.
He is seen watching him, documenting times and making a note of the unlocked door. You can see the times listed. That scene will be longer and showing him making more notes and listing additional times in the Director's Cut. Once again, I only showed it briefly due to the time limit but it was there.
I liked the lock-off shot and reveal of Mr. hammer psycho-killer. It surprised me because I thought he was gonna come out of the shadow on the left... but he didn't...oooo. Very creepy. Great job on the suspense.

Thanks!

The setup for the murder just didn't seem like enough though. If this one woman was responsible for messing up his WHOLE perfect schedule, and she wouldn't submit to the watchman's timing, THEN, maybe I would see that by killing her, he could get everything back together, and his OCD world would be right again. As it is, I don't really feel like I would want her dead just yet.

He did. :)

One other gripe, and I have to dissagree with some here- The music didn't work for me. I know Justin does some great work here on many different shorts, but this one seemed phoned-in. I wished for more of an arc to the score, and a theme that would help us understand that this guy is pretty crazed about keeping everyone on schedule, and once he takes action and feels that the "problem" has been solved, is again settled. The score seemed one-dimensional, only playing the erie suspense angle.

I used Justin's pre-recorded music for this. He didn't officially score it. I thought it fit rather well considering. So did he. Still, he didn't score it so it wouldn't be his fault. It would be mine.

I could nit-pick about other things, but these are the big ones. I hope my comments help, or at least present some food-for-thought.

Absolutely! Great comments. I think a some of your issues will actually be resolved in the Director's Cut. Not all, but some. Some of your other directions are just not where I'm going creatively.
The base you have created is very solid. The directing and camera work is very good, especially since you did it alone. I only needed a little more to feel for his character and really want her dead, and perhaps this is a piece that is hindered my the 6 minute time limit; I didn't feel there was much that should be taken out, just more to add.

Thanks again! I felt that it was enough but you'll see her spouse adding fuel to the fire in the Director's Cut as well. :D

I haven't seen any of your other movies yet, to see your progression, but this is a very well-done piece that you should be proud of. Congrats!

Thanks again!!
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I love reviews like this. Very well thought out and I appreciate your opinions even when some of them don't jive with mine. I also want to say thanks since you took the time to do this considering that you are not even fond of the genre.

Cheers,

Mike
 
Visually I thought you had some great style - it was claustrophobic and tense. I also found the main character very interesting - he could have been very cliche but you did a good job showing the character's idiosyncrasies without making it too blunt. I even had a moment where I was like "take out the !@#$ing trash, woman!" because I felt the watchman's anxiety.

I thought there was a lot of room for improvement with the female character, however. I don't know whether it was her acting or if maybe the lines were unrealistic, but her first conversation with the guy seemed a little off. Then when she was in the bathroom and heard a faint watch alarm, I didn't understand why she got as concerned as she did. If I were alone in my house and heard a beep, I wouldn't have given it much thought... there are so many electronics that make random noises. It was still a nice touch to have though, because the audience obviously knows exactly what the beeping is.

Overall, I enjoyed it especially for the intriguing main character and visual design. Thanks for making it :-).
 
bmwergs said:
Visually I thought you had some great style - it was claustrophobic and tense. I also found the main character very interesting - he could have been very cliche but you did a good job showing the character's idiosyncrasies without making it too blunt. I even had a moment where I was like "take out the !@#$ing trash, woman!" because I felt the watchman's anxiety.
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Thanks! Glad that came across.

bmwergs said:
Then when she was in the bathroom and heard a faint watch alarm, I didn't understand why she got as concerned as she did. If I were alone in my house and heard a beep, I wouldn't have given it much thought... there are so many electronics that make random noises. It was still a nice touch to have though, because the audience obviously knows exactly what the beeping is.
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Exactly! That was a little more for the audience, but... there is a creak in the floor that happens right as the beep sounds. This helps to explain her curiosity. :)
Maybe I'll increase its volume for the final cut.

bmwergs said:
Overall, I enjoyed it especially for the intriguing main character and visual design. Thanks for making it :-).
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I really appreciate that!
Thanks for watching.

Mike
 
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Hey,

Just caught the flick. I really enjoyed it. The visuals were quite nice and I thought you nailed the mood and tone pretty well. The music, sound effects, use of the watch were all very good. I liked how integral "time" fit in to the story here. Nothing tacked on about it.

Overall I liked it. Good work. I can't wait to see more from you.
 
Danielleus said:
Hey,

Just caught the flick. I really enjoyed it. The visuals were quite nice and I thought you nailed the mood and tone pretty well. The music, sound effects, use of the watch were all very good. I liked how integral "time" fit in to the story here. Nothing tacked on about it.

Overall I liked it. Good work. I can't wait to see more from you.
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Thanks! Glad that you liked the use of the theme as well.
Cheers!

Mike
 
another good film, the acting was good, ie the panicking when the time schedule was wrong. Actually, it was all pretty good.

I'm sure there must be people out there that live by the second.

Nice short, wel done. thank you.
 
iSTy said:
another good film, the acting was good, ie the panicking when the time schedule was wrong. Actually, it was all pretty good.

I'm sure there must be people out there that live by the second.

Nice short, well done. thank you.
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You're welcome. :laugh:

Glad you liked it!
Nice to see the odd review still dropping in as well.
I'll pass on the acting compliments.

Cheers!

Mike
 
I enjoyed this one quite a bit. I'm a huge John Carpenter fan and some of the stuff you pulled off inside the house was a little reminiscent of him. Build up was great, tension was high, and the micromanagement of timing was very cool. I feel like executing that kind of detail in a story can make or break it, and you definitely sold it here.

I also really dig the hallway attack... really reminded me of the Exorcist III.... if you've seen it, you know which shot I'm talking about. But that's still a helluva comparison.

Nice work!!
 
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