The Watchman a Michael Anthony Horrigan Film

Such an overwhelming acting by Ian Quick (pun intended by god?). He is a terrific asset to the movie and I'm dying to see him acting again. I see a great career for him.

Lucky you!
 
I thought this was well-done, in terms of shooting and acting. I'm not sure I understood it, though. I don't get the connection between the guy and the couple. Without that, the whole story seems a little bizarre. I get that he has a disorder, but at the very least, I need some reason why he singled them out. I don't think I saw one -- did I miss something?
 
David Jimerson said:
I thought this was well-done, in terms of shooting and acting. I'm not sure I understood it, though. I don't get the connection between the guy and the couple. Without that, the whole story seems a little bizarre. I get that he has a disorder, but at the very least, I need some reason why he singled them out. I don't think I saw one -- did I miss something?
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Well, you are the first to not get it so I'm not sure what to say?

Did you watch it from the beginning? Maybe it didn't download properly for you?
 
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I watched the whole, thing, sure. But I don't follow why he's keeping track of what they do. What's his motivation there? Why is he waiting to watch the trash cans?
 
Really enjoyed my second viewing. This is a really great entry.

All right here are a few more specific comments.

The dolly shots in the beginning are just a tad crooked. Might have been on purpose, but to me it just looks accidental. Minor detail, but one that could probably be fixed in post.

The audio doesn't peak out or anything in the dialogue scene. That must have just been my speakers or my faulty memory. However, with a better listening environment I found the audio hollow and echoey in this sequence, specifically his lines. I actually watched it without headphones, then listened to the dialogue with headphones. "I couldn't hear "F'ing C*" at all without the headphones.

There is some line crossing in the dialogue sequence. Doesn't really hurt the scene for me, especially considering the off-kilter feel of it, I just wonder if that was intentional or not.

The shot of the watch when he sets the timer in her house looks fantastic.

Her line "honey" leaning over the balcony is hard to hear, especially without headphones.

The ending is confusing for me because its hard to tell where we switch back to the past. I also can't tell what he's doing with the ?laundry basket? and the trash can.

You're one of my favorite filmmakers on this site. Loved Joel and Music Box and this one as well. Keep up the great work.
 
David Jimerson said:
I watched the whole, thing, sure. But I don't follow why he's keeping track of what they do. What's his motivation there? Why is he waiting to watch the trash cans?
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As said in the 911 call, he's part of the neighbourhood watch. The notepad also states that it is garbage day and has a +/- timeframe. She screws up the schedule and he snaps.

Cheers,

Mike
 
If he's hanging out in the neighborhood in the middle of the morning because he's doing neighborhood watch, that probably needs to be established firmly. I didn't get that at all. Seemed to me that he made that up during his 911 call.

So, what I saw was a guy hanging out in his car, watching a particular driveway, knowing the trash was coming, and obsessed with the can getting out to the curb. Obviously he'd done it before, which seemed to me to indicate that he was already focused on those particular people, which begs the question -- why them?

She rebuked him; he plotted his revenge; that's all fine. But the setup, what got him into the car sitting outside their driveway, seems like it needs more explanation, IMO. "He's crazy" isn't enough for me.
 
Awesome critique! I'll comment below in bold.

jasonthewho said:
Really enjoyed my second viewing. This is a really great entry.

All right here are a few more specific comments.

The dolly shots in the beginning are just a tad crooked. Might have been on purpose, but to me it just looks accidental. Minor detail, but one that could probably be fixed in post.

I leveled the tripod so it may be the room. If you look at the wall on the left it is pretty straight, the window does look off though. I think it's deceiving.

The audio doesn't peak out or anything in the dialogue scene. That must have just been my speakers or my faulty memory.

Glad to hear.

However, with a better listening environment I found the audio hollow and echoey in this sequence, specifically his lines. I actually watched it without headphones, then listened to the dialogue with headphones. "I couldn't hear "F'ing C*" at all without the headphones.

That last part was supposed to be said just under his breath. I can hear it clearly but I know what he's saying so I can understand. The one at the end is much clearer. I could boost it though, not sure if I will.

There is some line crossing in the dialogue sequence. Doesn't really hurt the scene for me, especially considering the off-kilter feel of it, I just wonder if that was intentional or not.

That was definitely intentional, and we were rushed. :)

The shot of the watch when he sets the timer in her house looks fantastic.

Thanks!

Her line "honey" leaning over the balcony is hard to hear, especially without headphones.

I agree that it could use a few more decibels. Good spot.

The ending is confusing for me because its hard to tell where we switch back to the past. I also can't tell what he's doing with the ?laundry basket? and the trash can.

We switch to the past when the scene changes to black and white.

In the present we see him stuffing the bloody raincoat into their laundry basket. In the black and white scene (the past) we see him finding the raincoat in their garbage can. Both scenes are longer in the Director's Cut.

You're one of my favorite filmmakers on this site. Loved Joel and Music Box and this one as well. Keep up the great work.

Considering the company on this forum I'll take that as quite the compliment.

Awesome critique! Thanks for paying extra attention.
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Cheers,

Mike
 
David Jimerson said:
If he's hanging out in the neighborhood in the middle of the morning because he's doing neighborhood watch, that probably needs to be established firmly. I didn't get that at all. Seemed to me that he made that up during his 911 call.

So, what I saw was a guy hanging out in his car, watching a particular driveway, knowing the trash was coming, and obsessed with the can getting out to the curb. Obviously he'd done it before, which seemed to me to indicate that he was already focused on those particular people, which begs the question -- why them?

She rebuked him; he plotted his revenge; that's all fine. But the setup, what got him into the car sitting outside their driveway, seems like it needs more explanation, IMO. "He's crazy" isn't enough for me.
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I thought it was plenty but no problem. I did what I could within the time frame. I thought it was enough.

Thanks for commenting!

Cheers,

Mike
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
I thought it was plenty but no problem. I did what I could within the time frame. I thought it was enough.
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But even crazy people have reasons why they make the choices they make, why they choose to focus on particular people, places, or things. A character needs motivation, even the crazy ones. :)

Just trying to give constructive feedback.
 
David Jimerson said:
But even crazy people have reasons why they make the choices they make, why they choose to focus on particular people, places, or things. A character needs motivation, even the crazy ones. :)

Just trying to give constructive feedback.
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No problem at all. I actually appreciate it. Even though you are the first to have a problem with this part I still think it's worth going over.

I think I summed up the following within the movie.

1. Character is obsessed with doing everything by a timed schedule. You see that when his schedule is altered so harshly that he snaps. His reaction in the car is not normal. That along with her taunting him is enough. Complete strangers have killed over less.

2. *If you look at the list VERY closely by his mirror you will see that he has an allotted time to watch the neighbours set aside. :)
I don't hit people in the face with this stuff, but it's there if you look for it. *Second shot of the list.

3. As per their heated conversation, they have had this problem before. She mentions that. He has addressed this issue with them before so much so that she even knows the time he wants the garbage out by!

I think that sets up why he's watching and it also shows a past relationship quite clearly. Again, that's just my opinion.

Cheers!
 
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If I may. David-The lady eludes to the fact that this is her second time telling him to stay away from her trash. So he noticed before that she didn't put her trash out. Maybe the first time has caused him to keep a closer watch on her. Thats where the movie starts off , the second time.
 
Hi Mike,

I really enjoyed this film. I thought was simple and elegant and filled the 6 minutes very well. Excellent pacing. I was particularly excited to read that you used only the HV20 - more proof that good performances and a solid story matter far more than using the best cameras and adapters. Well done.
 
Nice work, Michael. I enjoyed your film and I think it was an improvement on your last piece of work. The cinematography and music worked well here. I thought the pacing was good and I understood your story. Thanks for sharing!
 
STYLZ said:
If I may. David-The lady eludes to the fact that this is her second time telling him to stay away from her trash. So he noticed before that she didn't put her trash out. Maybe the first time has caused him to keep a closer watch on her. Thats where the movie starts off , the second time.
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There is definitely a history between them, that's for sure.

Thanks.

Mike
 
Will Clegg said:
Hi Mike,

I really enjoyed this film. I thought was simple and elegant and filled the 6 minutes very well. Excellent pacing. I was particularly excited to read that you used only the HV20 - more proof that good performances and a solid story matter far more than using the best cameras and adapters. Well done.
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Thanks so much!
It's hard to compete with the big guns around here so I do my best with what I have. :)

Someone give me a professional camera!
I'll give you a charity receipt. :D

Cheers,

Mike
 
Geoff_R said:
Nice work, Michael. I enjoyed your film and I think it was an improvement on your last piece of work. The cinematography and music worked well here. I thought the pacing was good and I understood your story. Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks so much for this.
You know I love your work big time! :thumbup:

I'm taking notes every fest and trying to improve. The funny thing is... this is the first time I've had no crew. I've always been mostly a one man show but I usually have a boom operator at the minimum. Yet I seem to be getting my best reviews this fest. Go figure!

I guess the "blood sweat and tears" pays off in the end. :D

Thanks again so much!

Mike
 
I think your entry this time around is more disciplined, more intentional.. It's a better piece and worthy of better reviews. For the next fest, try to top yourself again. I think we learn best from watching our films days/weeks later and seeing all the little things we could do better. It's that ability which ultimately allows us to grow into full fledged filmmakers.
 
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