The Hour Is Yours - clarkage

The white room shots were pretty cool. Justin's music is awesome. It's nice that he shares it so freely.

Keep at it. You're talented, just need a little more practice.
Cheers,

Mike
 
I liked the story also, but dont think you didnt enough with it. If he has an hour and knows he needs to save the girl, then I would think he would be spending that hour trying to find her, not sitting on a curb waiting for her.

I think what would have been much stronger is he he spends that hour trying to find her, he cant, then as the final seconds tick down he sees she is about to go into the street and he gets there just in time to save her again but gets hit himself, again. I thnk there is a much stronger message if he chooses to do the same thing again, even knowing he is going to get hit as opposed to the "happy hollywood ending" where they both make it.

Just my thoughts on what I think was almost a really great story.
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Wow I really like that!! Man, now I'm all pissed I couldnt think of that. And yes, I do agree with you. I think we should have found something that made the story stronger... If only we had more TIME!

Thank you all for the comments so far! It is really appreciated and this whole thing has been a great learning experience for me! I now know what I will be doing differently next fest! Thanks again!

- clarkage
 
Hey Clarkage. I'm about to watch your film. Just wanted to say again that I love your attitude and willingness to accept suggestions. I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got here!
 
Ok, man. Just watched it and first off I really liked the story. Great voice-over by whomever you got to add that note of authority. Justin Durban rocked that score. Wow did that add so much. Brilliant.

I also was uncertain about the significance of the "hour" when it didn't seem consistent with the events unfolding. Based on the voice-over saying how important it was for him to get to the curb within the hour I expected he would be somewhere completely different and would have to make a mad dash to get there. It seemed he was just there.

I found the opening images cool with all the white blown out. However, I would have liked to have you grade it so you had full range instead of having all the blacks washed out. It read to me as underexposed the way it was.

I appreciated your use of some filtering but it seemed inconsistent. Some of the full-color scenes appeared merely degraded with artifacts while at other times did seem processed and interesting in appearance. I think you would have been better off just shooting the full-color stuff without attempting to put effects on it. Just my thoughts though.

Might have been nice to have a clock inset or something to give a feeling that he was running out of time at the end as well. It would have amped up the drama quotient.

However, those are all quibbles. You are a man on a mission to make films and I can't say enough about you or your progress. Every time you shoot you learn something valuable and it always shows in the next film. Take a breath and get ready for the next fest Clarkage!!!!! I'll be anxious to see what you make next.
 
I really enjoyed this film. I am not sure how old you are but I wish I had started my film making at a younger age. I can't imagine how awesome your movies will be when you get as old as some of us. Keep up the great work man.
-Pauly
 
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congrats on this entry. You are starting so early making these. I am proud of you!! I really liked the ending. In the middle, I thought the white room was a bit too washed out and the acting was a bit forced, but then ending was cool. Good film and keep up the good work!
 
The Durban score was wonderful. I really liked the thoughtfulness of the message... Our time, each hour, is important. I thought the white room segment was a little too long for a short, and that you could have gotten on to that final hour and spent more time in it. All in all though I though it was a good solid film. Nice work!:Drogar-Happy(DBG):
 
Firstly, it looks like your screen grabs are 16x9 -- did you crop the final output to 4x3? I'd recommend shooting for at least a 16x9 frame, even if your camera doesn't provide the option and you need to crop it in post. We're trained to associate wide-screen aspect ratios with film.

Secondly, you need to get the mic closer to the actor. It doesn't matter if it's an expensive mic or not -- a cheap mic two feet away from the talent will sound worlds better than an expensive mic ten feet away. It will make a huge difference in quality.

In terms of script, pacing, etc -- I think too much time was spent in the white room, with the kid asking too many questions. I think it could have gotten to the point quicker, leaving more time for the payoff (which I think there needed to be more of). After all that build-up, I wanted something bigger at the end.

Cheers, and good luck on future films.
 
Great job! It's a Wonderful Life is one of my favorite movies, and you did it in five minutes! The cinematography was a little hit and miss, but I thought your actors and directing were quite good. The narrator in particular was very good. The music was amazing! I especially liked the story. :thumbup:

Look forward to your next film!
 
I agree with Maximus, 'It's a Wonderful Life' is also one of my fav films and I really enjoy the 'if I'd done that' difference, it's the same with 'Sliding Doors'. Anyways, really enjoyed this short, would like to see an extended version of it.
Cheers!
 
Good job Clarkage!

I agree with all those who've commented before me. Audio needs work, bring down the blacks in the white room scene, tighten up the editing/story in the white room scene, and increase the stakes at the end.

I was unclear whether the guy only got an hour, or if he had an hour to figure out how to save himself. At the end he doesn't disappear to my knowledge, so I guess he gets to stay? That is a confusing thing for me.

Great job enlisting the talents of Justin Durban and chapelgrovefilms to strengthen your film.

As has been said before, for your age this is excellent work. I'm excited to see what you'll do next with what you've learned from this one!
 
Ha!! The opening music I was like.. “Ooh, that sounds like my music..” and it was! I forgot that you were going to use my music.

I wish the audio for the guy in the white room was as clear as the narrator. I wished you showed at least one shot of the narrator too. It would have helped tie it all together.

I think the music worked for the most part, but then I know exactly when those cues start and end, so it’s funny to see them get hacked and chopped to fit a film.

Looking forward to your next entry. I hope you’ve learned a lot from the comments so far in the forum.

Congrats on entering the fest.
 
You got a good story but there are some technical issues with the movie. The footages are washed out. The sound is kind of weak. I think the quality of the movie would improve a lot if you can fix these issues. You did a good job putting everything together though. Congrats!
 
Thanks guys again for all the comments! I have learned a ton from this fest and when making my next fest entry it will be great to be able to come back and look at your comments to remind myself of what I have to improve on. I am soooo excited for the next fest!

for your age this is excellent work
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Thanks Jason! It means a lot and I love doing what I am doing so it all just sort of flows together for me.

The footages are washed out. The sound is kind of weak. I think the quality of the movie would improve a lot if you can fix these issues.
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I agree with this comment. I was shooting this film with a DVX100 that I had borrowed from a USC Film student that I know and I thought that the on camera mic would be fine... And I definitely learned my lesson! On my next entry I want to be able to use an actual mic so we can get better sound. I was really dissapointed as well with how the main characters audio came out. But live and learn!
 
Hey,

Just caught the flick. I liked the story and I thought you pulled it together decently well. I liked the score and the cinematography in the white room was pretty good. I also think your actors did a pretty good job. The narrator was especially strong, if messing up his diction here and there.

Story-wise I thought it was too on the nose for my taste. You're lucky the narrator was quite good because this film would have died if he wasn't as good as he was. However, I still think we were told WAY too much here. We could have been shown his getting hit by the car, and that would have segued very easily into the white room stuff. And then we wouldn't need the narration on what happened.

Having that last hour also strikes me as weird. It seemed like the film set out that he had an hour to do whatever he wanted but that it would revert back to him in a coma. Am I right here? I think this part of the narration/story left me dry. Also, as I think was already stated, why not just save the girl early (which he does anyway and thus, doesn't get hit by the car).

Also, it struck me as weird that the angel would call it time-travel. Just one of those things that I think the ephemeral wouldn't say.

Otherwise, I dig the concept and thought that it was decently pulled off. Good work. Can't wait to see what you've got next.
 
Hi Clarkage, you made a fine little film.

I'd agree with others that the "white" scene was rather long, a bit washed out, and rather too narrated, but you got the message across OK. I thought the final scenes worked well: you had the right shots, they were edited together quite nicely with a decent rhythm and I liked the use of little inserts such as the falling chocolate bar wrapper to tell the story. Good job. Keep going - we're all waiting for the next one.

Jason
 
I am getting to these late, and I figure you have heard what is there to say so I will be brief. Good job. I thought Jimmy's acting could use work and the audio could be better in the white room portions. I am not sure how I felt about the first flashback, kind of on the fence. At any rate congrats and good luck!
 
Okay, for the record let me just point out that there was no 'narrator' and no 'narration' -- that was an unseen character. Not to be picky or anything.... :)
 
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