Just finished this last month (May). I would like to get some feedback on it. It was made with a Canon HV20. Thanks for watching!
http://vimeo.com/1141711
http://vimeo.com/1141711
The Call...A Short Film
- Thread starter lealar
- Start date
Jon Starr
Veteran
Interesting short. Some great shots.
Just it fell flat for me. He gets a call, then goes after a guy that abducted him? Felt a bit too uncreative for me. At the same time, the story dragged.
The major problems for me were the small inconsistencies, or unrealism. We live in an era of cop shows and detective stories. So we know the "proper" way to hold a gun (or at least the way TV tells us it should be, but it's obviously a more proper way). Looks like it's the first time he ever held a gun and he's scared not of the situation, but of the gun.
Then there's the "binocular shot". From the vantage point, I'm surprised that the main character didn't notice that the abductor was right in front of him. It seemed wayyy too close. Should have found a hiding spot, far away.
Now as for the actor. Dunno who he is, but could he have at least... reacted to anything? Even when he was abducted, he had the same blank stare when he was having the shootout, or when he received the call, or when he was driving.
Also, I believe that less is more when it comes to dialogue, but that doesn't always apply. Perhaps it could have been of a benefit to hear some dialogue to help the story? Or was it some sort of exercise requirement?
Some points just dragged also. Great shot of him driving, but where was it going? He's just travelling.
Just it fell flat for me. He gets a call, then goes after a guy that abducted him? Felt a bit too uncreative for me. At the same time, the story dragged.
The major problems for me were the small inconsistencies, or unrealism. We live in an era of cop shows and detective stories. So we know the "proper" way to hold a gun (or at least the way TV tells us it should be, but it's obviously a more proper way). Looks like it's the first time he ever held a gun and he's scared not of the situation, but of the gun.
Then there's the "binocular shot". From the vantage point, I'm surprised that the main character didn't notice that the abductor was right in front of him. It seemed wayyy too close. Should have found a hiding spot, far away.
Now as for the actor. Dunno who he is, but could he have at least... reacted to anything? Even when he was abducted, he had the same blank stare when he was having the shootout, or when he received the call, or when he was driving.
Also, I believe that less is more when it comes to dialogue, but that doesn't always apply. Perhaps it could have been of a benefit to hear some dialogue to help the story? Or was it some sort of exercise requirement?
Some points just dragged also. Great shot of him driving, but where was it going? He's just travelling.
LOL!! Love the review Jon...it's a good thing my main interest is the shooting, not the acting. This is what happens when a) you don't have any ability to come up with a story and b)don't have any real actors.
I've always told people I'm just a "ham & egger". I don't take myself too seriously with this stuff...just love doing it.
I really thank you for your insights!
Art
I've always told people I'm just a "ham & egger". I don't take myself too seriously with this stuff...just love doing it.
I really thank you for your insights!
Art
Jon Starr
Veteran
Then in that case, love the cinematography! My fav shot is the close-up of the speedometer and the hand holding a gun with blood pouring down.
I used to focus just on cinematography. That's why I get a crew now, and to make sure either I'm the DP with a director, or vise versa.