ZFarms Productions Presents "Amore"

Blaine said:
Dean! Nice little short. Nice ending, too. There were a couple of technical issues as previously stated but you kept me engaged in the story which, after all, is the most important thing. Good work.
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Thanks Blaine. I really hope (like I've stated previous times) to fix the problems.


BTW Did you get my PM?
 
I got an email from Jeff the guy who runs Rejection Hotline. He told me I could use the audio as long as the story wasn't along the lines of a guy getting the number and going out and killing people. HAHA.
 
ZFarms!!!! LMAO!!!!!

Dude, great entry!

There are some technical issues with your sound. I am sure that you are aware of this already and won't go any farther.

I like many of your shots and cuts.

The actors were okay... they fit the story.

The ending was great!

Good job!

Congrats to you,

Ted
 
Nice entry. I really though she gave him her phone number! Those popular girls, so full of pride...

Good ending.

A few notes:

People all ready mention the colorgrade, I dont need to talk more about that. Probably the biggest "error" for me though was the wardrobe continuity. The jacket on and off in the first scene was very distracting and it took effort to get back into the film. The thing with being at film school (or so I have heard) is that your always trying to find people to act in your films. But they turn out not really being actors. Your main dude was extremely confident, and then..not confident, the transition felt a little forced...

Anyways, With all that aside you put forth a great effort and I enjoyed the twist at the end. Keep it up!
 
i think you've gotten enough feedback on the technical side of things. so i'd like to talk about your lead actor.

i thought he was a great choice. he carried me through the whole short! i thought he did a great job. his two friends came off a little flat on some lines, but every time you cut back to him i was reengaged.

i guess i do have one technical point. i had to rewind 3 times to catch that it was a 'rejection hotline.' but i could tell it was an 'oh, snap!' moment anyways.

this is one of the few cases where i think i might have liked to have seen 'based on a true story' at the front end. that's off the cuff, so i might want to take it back later.
 
Thanks for all the comments guys. I really appreciate it!


And I honestly didn't notice the jacket thing at all! Wow. I was so worried about getting it done. Didn't notice it, and neither did Kyle who helped me edit. Wow. Thanks for pointing that out! I'll see if I can fix that in a future edit.
 
Zfarms. I liked this one. I wish I wasn't spoiled. Shame on me for reading the thread before watching the movie. The look of this was interesting. I rarely get a chance to see footage from the F900. The dynamic range made this stand out from the others.

My laugh out loud moment of the short was when the straight-man pushes the wiseass out of frame, and he walks back into frame meekly with his head down. I like sidebar moments like that.

Good job on this.
 
AMORE -- Zfarms gave me the wrong phone number, but I still like his entry.

SPOILER ALERT --

I'm not the earliest one to this thread, I'm sure people have already commented on technical difficulties do I'm not about to. I do have some stuff for ya, though!

Overall plot is easy material. This was a good chance to focus on directing, cinematography and pacing. I don't have many "gripes" about the actual story/tale, I think the cut may be keeping this from being paced well.

We're spendin' a lot of time where we don't have to be and getting to know characters that belabor the arrival at the punchline. For instance with the friends. There's a lot of opportunity to get in and out with these guys, as they only serve as a catalyst. We spend a lot of time with 'em and that's okay, I think backing off a little could re-time your short to give it more oomph when you hit the punchline. That's pretty much the time eater there. I mean, it could've been compressed in the writing stages, but that's gone now so cutting into it could help? This is just my thought, and nothing to live by.

I also didn't feel like your main character was the type to be the unpopular guy in high school. Now, bare with me on this one, because it's probably preference. A great deal of creating a believable character is wardrobe. This guy looks like one of the cool kids in school and so does his taller friend. The shorter guy with the striped hoodie? He worked for me. The other two felt like they were straight out of Abercrombie and Fitch AND I don't feel like those types have any issue with hooking up with females. Now, on the other hand, the group at the table didn't seem right either. I am sorry if I seem like I'm labeling people on appearance, I just feel like if you really want to sell something like this you would want to pin these people into what you "think" they would look like.

It's sad of me to say that! I'm sorry... but take SUPERBAD for example and you'll see what I mean.

What's REALLY good here is the sense of cinematics. I think I pretty much liked every shot choice (with a few focus issues or choice of focus disagreements) but it's very cinematic visually. Once you get sound going and you match it, it'll all come together pretty nicely.

It's a great start! I'm sure you're still working on it so show us the final when you've gotten it ready.

Thanks Z! Nice use of the F900 as well.
 
Thanks Kholi. I'll definitely post the updated version when its ready. I'm gonna wait a couple more weeks to do it though, so I can see what everyone who watches it has to say about it, so I don't have to go back to it multiple times.
 
The sound was a little funky.

The twist was a little abrupt and I was hoping it would actually go a little further and we'd get to see Steve get a little revenge (nothing horrific - just something funny and fitting in with the tone of the film).
 
Chris raises a good point. In hindsight it's a bit abrupt. Not wrong, but just abrupt. When you combine that with what I said, the extra time you have in a six minute slot alots for some revenge to close it out.

Just thoughts! And people thinkin' about your short is a good thing. =D
 
I hear what you're saying, but this wasn't about the revenge. It was more about the punchline. I didn't want him to get any revenge, cause that's not what I did after I got the number. I just got angry, and that's when I developed my sarcastic ways. "Steve" is me. Its exactly what happened to me in high school. I didn't get revenge. I just moved on.


Andrew deserves the props for the look of the film. He's a great DP, and I really want to work with him again.
 
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Just to add to what has already been said...

This was a pretty short film as it was. So, keeping with your intended format and ending, I might like to suggest that it would have been good to have exposed us a bit to this relationship between the guy and girl (or, more accurately... lack of relationship).

I don't have suggestions as to what, but it would have been nice to have seen her before he asks her out.

Just a suggestion anyways.

Thanks for putting in the time with this... Your punchline definitely worked with the short time, b/c you aren't expecting to see it coming yet b/c it's still so soon into the film... so... just my 2 cents anyways.

Thanks for sharing your work as well. I'm really loving this fest. I'm really excited for dvxuser and everyone in this fest right now. Folks are representing the site.

Later,
Jason
 
Thanks Jason. I get what you're saying. Maybe show him trying to talk to her before, or looking at her from afar in other scenes. The only reason I didn't do this is cause I was worried about the run time. I tried to keep it as short as possible so I didn't have to cut stuff I really wanted in it.
 
You know what sucks,

I heard this phone call/joke a couple weeks ago. So I didn't find it as funny when the conclusion came. I'm sure if I hadn't heard this joke previous, I would've liked it more.

To top of Jason's post, maybe you could have had the guy stare at the girl, and you see shots of her talking, and laughing, the whole bit. Then that's when the guy comes in and says "Why don't you just talk to her?"

I really liked the CC. What did you do? The shots were interesting and unique as well.

Good job over all man,

Robbie

Edit- Beat me to it ZFarms :)
 
Thanks for the comments Como. The only problem is we can't get the actress. She moved back to Phoenix. So no reshoots haha.


We actually didn't color correct all of it yet. We didn't have a lot of time after the edit was complete. We're gonna work on it for the later version though.
 
i worked on one shot, not saying which one cause i don't want everyone seeing the bad job i did. but other than that it wasn't color corrected.
 
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