My Gal Pal

Mark Harris said:
this was super cute and fun. A little rushed, but the charm overcame that. Thanks for taking me back to m HS days. :)
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Ha thanks for the good comments. It was actually college, but I can forgive you. I think our main critique is that while we included what we wanted in the 6 minutes, it didn't necessarily have the umph due to the rushed pacing. Otherwise we are really happy with it.
 
Cool movie, very well crafted. Nice lighting and camera movement.

I really wish he had made the realization on his own at the end. Having his ex basically tell him kind of put a damper on it for me. It didn't ruin the ending but I didn't feel it as much because of it.

Nice work though guys!
 
One thing I really liked was the single shot around the party. It was simple, but again remeniscient of the 80s teen films.
 
Mark Harris said:
One thing I really liked was the single shot around the party. It was simple, but again remeniscient of the 80s teen films.
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Thanks man its good to hear someone say that beecause that was my first ever experience with a real steadicam. It was super fun and I hope to be able to use it again sometime.
 
GAL PAL -- Kholi goes to Party and Gets Drunk on Stupid Nice Cinematics!

Dang. Very nice. Not just cinematics, either, but all around. There's nothing I can say about lighting, composition, camera work. It's incredible. Was this all stock lens? Hats and Rats off to you guys n'gals for an incredible looking short film.

Also, thank you for taking on a simple story. There is NOTHING wrong with doing something like this. Tackling an idea or "cliche" in a short allows you to work on story telling in the visual sense. I'm gonna say some stuff about the actual written work because I feel that it could've been tightened up a bit more. Especially the payoff.

The beginning feels forced. I know that you were goin' for comedy with the "we should break up, now." With no explanation as to why before hand and the lingering moment it got to be odd and too unrealistic to draw a laugh. The real laugh came when the roommate appeared, and it broke up the odd moment for me. He saved that part. In hindsight, do you feel like it had to be a moment of "funny" versus "in your face"? Or, perhaps, a switch in dialogue? Just askin and not suggestion. Wondering how you feel about it.

Then we move onto the Gal Pal (I have a girlfriend, I won't comment on your choice... I'm sure someone else will, though.). She's a great selection in casting. In the beginning when she's presented with "the favor" she seems a little too smiley for someone who's obviously-- from the get-go -- in love with the main character. Specifically this type of favor.

The LAST clencher for me is the payoff. This was the weakest link in story. He runs back to the girl after getting "dissed" (So 1998?) one last time. He needed to turn the cheek before that to make that sort of payoff work. Then, on to making a mad dash through the school grounds to find the love of his life. It's not my story, but mechanically, as it stands, it's almost "cowardly" of him and it doesn't seem like he's come to truly realize but is forced to. He's still reactive and hasn't become active.

Even in a cliche there's always a chance to have a strong cliche. It's good, I think the ending could have been tightened up at the writing stage.

The music is the last thing I wanna touch on. It seems plugged in, no offense, to the rest of the short. Was that a conscious choice or merely a last minute thing? If so, what was the motivator?

You've accomplished a big movie feel in a small space and time slot. It has a beginning, middle, and end. A sort-of character arc, great moments, everything. This is definitely Top 5 material for me.

Next fest!
 
Hey SB, just watched and I liked! Fun tribute to those 1980 films. LOL. There were some great surprising moments that made me smile.

I felt that your story was cliche' and I am hoping that was intentional based on the "tribute" that I spoke of. Though cliche', it was pulled off very nicely. You got a lot a story and character development in there in such a short time.

Some great camera work happening here as well. Loved some of those shot, man! I was missing a c/u insert of the dejected girl when the guy runs up to see his "old" gf in the bedroom. Just would have been touching to see her pain and sorrow.

Fun film and well done!

Congrats to you!

-Ted
 
Thanks for the kind words guys. We had a lot of fun making this and working/playing with all the cliches.

I'm sure Andrew will enjoy the praise on the camera work. He really worked hard on keeping that flat, no close up 80's feel and I think it worked. We also put a lot of time into shotlisting and storyboarding this so it had a television episode feel and I think that worked. That also explains the lack of closeups with the dejected girl. We wanted to stay away from anything too close but we also wanted to keep it wide ala televsion and let our actors act.

Kholi, thanks for the comments on the story. We packed a lot into those 6 minutes and I think sometimes we may have put too much, but we're still pretty happy with it.
 
Yeah guys thanks a lot for the kind words on the look. We were trying to stay away from all the cliches that we knew would be associated with Lovefest so we figured the best way to do this was to shoot it flat and away from the action. Cheers all.
 
Kholi said:



The music is the last thing I wanna touch on. It seems plugged in, no offense, to the rest of the short. Was that a conscious choice or merely a last minute thing? If so, what was the motivator?
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First of all Kholi, thank you for taking the time for the in depth critique and your overall kind words. Out of curiosity, what did you mean by plugged in?
 
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