Clean Slate Productions presents "IN PIECES"

A message from Davis for you all.

A message from Davis for you all.

Davis wanted me to thank you all for your comments on his performance, so i told him to write an email so i could share it with you all.

to the viewers.....in a most gracious and humble way...i would like
to say Thank You for all of your wonderful and kind comments on my
performance as John A. Mitchell......it was a pleasure and an honor to
work with this very talented and gifted team ...a special
thanks to ben....for his belief in me as an actor...and his skilled ability
as a writer and director!...my best to all of the contestants in this
festival.....davis osborne
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Davis really like ellipses. If you are in the Charlotte Area and are in need of his services, contact him through his website: www.davisosborne.com
Thanks again everyone for watching!
 
Didn't you guys make a really slick film in spyfest too? This was clearly super-pro on all counts, so I will likely be harsher on you than some others. You know how to make films, so can probably take criticism. And remember, you asked for it!!!!!! :)

I think a couple of things kept this from REALLY working for me:

1) Someone else on the board mentioned this, and I agree: I think the director should have kept the actor away from playing so evil, so excited, whatever. It felt a little ham-handed and honestly like serial killers I've seen in many tv shows and movies before. And he was obviously crazy.

But what is really so scary about these guys is when you see interviews or court tapes or whatever, and they are completely normal, and talk about their business in completely normal fashion. It's kind of what Hannah Arendt talked about in "The Banality of Evil." What was scary about the Nazis was not that they were raving lunatics, but that they were clear-headed and methodical and going about their business like any other business. And that is what is scary about serial killers too, I think. At any rate, I think you could have made a MUCH more interesting choice in the direction you gave the actor than you did. He came off a little cliched. And I think that is direction, because he also looked like he was a really good actor.

2) This form is WAAAAAAYYYY too short for this subject. I dunno what you were really trying to get at in 5 min, but no meaningful dissection of this type of person can be done in that time. So the whole thing felt a little trivial in my eyes. I had this same issue at a play last night too though. But in your case here, it's just that this is the wrong form for this story, in order for it to be meaningful to me, or to have the impact and insight it should.

3) There is no inherent drama in the script. Presumably he is telling all of this to someone who is already dead. So why exactly does he have to get this out to that dead person? I know there might be a thousand reasons in the mind of an insane person, but you didn't show me any of them, and as a viewer I needed to see some more real, actual drama. Like what does this guy want? Why is he doing THIS particular action to get it? What happens if he does not get it? The basic questions you have to ask in any dramatic undertaking. Frankly, we've seen so much of this stuff by now that the images were not enough to keep me going without some real dramatic action.

And as I said, I generally would only put that much criticism into things that warrant attention. You guys clearly know how to make a film. So I felt it all right to nit-pick you. And you asked for it. :)

Signed,

A respected member of the board.

Would love to work with you guys some time.
 
Mark Harris said:
And as I said, I generally would only put that much criticism into things that warrant attention. You guys clearly know how to make a film. So I felt it all right to nit-pick you. And you asked for it. :)
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Mark! Awesome! Thanks for taking the time to put some serious thought into a criticism, it helps more than you know. Some of those things may never have come up if someone else hadn't brought them to our attention. I'm printing this page off right now to have it in front of me for when I'm writing.

Signed,
One of the few on the boards who thinks Mark Harris is respectable ... somewhat. :)
 
Mark Johnson said:
This one has my vote for best of fest. Some remarkable images, guys. Bravo.
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Thanks Mark! We are all very proud of how it came together, considering it's a big mix of stylistic choices; we wanted to make some images that would stick with people. I think my favorite part of this piece is that everyone has a different "favorite" shot.

Thanks again for the watch and comment! :thumbsup:
 
Hey Hybridtheory,

Very creepy and slick film. I thought the actor was great and his performance throughout was very chilling.

The shot of the gun was spectacular.

Very nice shots and editing. Technically it was beautiful. Sound and picture.

But...sorry there is a but...the choice to tell this story as an interview is kind of uninteresting. The whole short is just the guy talking to the camera which is more effective then a voiceover, but still along the same lines. Also, the character was one dimensional where he was just the same throughout.

It was effective in the sense that he was just creepy throughout, but at the end I wasn't really satisfied because there was no story arc. Nothing was resolved. We were given this information but it was just information.

Why would he stop killing? Why was he killing people to begin with? I know at the start we see the title card that he turned himself in because he reached perfection but why did that matter to him? He seemed to like the killing part itself, why not keep going?

I think it would have been more effective showing him about to kill someone and have him calling the cops before he does it so there is like a "ticking clock". He could be telling the victim about the first 8 victims and how he tell this last person how he got it down though so don't worry...you head will come right off. Maybe you could play it like he always talked to his victims like he was being interview before he killed them because it seemed like you were implying this with the end and also because the guy that got piped was also tied up in a chair.

Though the actors performance was good, it was really the intercut shots of him doing something that I really enjoyed because in the end he was sort of a glorified voiceover.

Overall you guys did a really good job with the shots, direction, dialogue, acting and all the postproduction. The story is there but I felt the means chosen to tell it was the only lacking part.

Laters,
Ando
 
Ando,

thanks for taking the time to write up some concise thoughts about our film. seems like story vehicle didn't work out for you, which is a shame, i wished it would have had more of an effect for you.

And I'm really sorry that John's monologue came off as a glorified voice over to you. I believe the two are completely different story telling mediums, and that the character Davis portrayed has a lot more layers because of it.

thanks again for the view and response. :thumbsup:
 
MORE BTS PICS!!!!

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she's quite a woman, i tell ya.
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aaron's found his woman ... nevermind the fact i haven't finished painting my kitchen.
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awesomeness.
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ok, we're kidding about all that stuff about davis being a nice guy ... he's really a psycho.
 
A little birdie told me to move your film up on my viewing list...glad they did.

Well done, acting top notch, visuals had a wow factor considering we stayed in one place for the most part. Wish there had been more flashing police light at the end but other than that...great job and glad I was told to check it out!

I love how you got your wine in there...that was so nicely played without taking anything from the final look!
 
hey thanks Michele, and thank your little birdie for us too. I think you are actually the first to comment on the wine, most people get caught up with the shotgun shot that follows, so thats really cool!

Thanks again for the watch and comments.

where in the carolinas are you located???
 
andoguru said:
Hey Hybridtheory,

Though the actors performance was good, it was really the intercut shots of him doing something that I really enjoyed because in the end he was sort of a glorified voiceover.

Ando
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Ando

I can't help but want to debate on this point from the actors perspective. 90% of what an actor does has nothing to do with sound coming out of their mouth. I liked the intercut because of how stagnant it could have been without...but I would never consider this a glorified voice over job for the actor or by the filmmaker...

but that is me...and let us all remember I am talent not writer, director or tech of any type so I do look at this a bit different.
 
Hey Michele and hybridtheory,

Yeah, I think my choice of calling Davis' performance as a glorified voiceover was a bad choice of words...probably even a bad statement in general because it was outstanding.

I should have done what Cinealma did and split up my comments as a viewer and as a filmmaker because let me tell you the first time I watch "In Pieces" 'I was like holy crap that was awesome' as a viewer. When it came time to coming up with the best in the fest and I was watching all the films again but paying attention as a filmmaker I felt it wasn't as effective on me because it was mainly just him talking to me. This is where the line between a filmmaker and viewer is skewed and some very entertaining and well done films can be appease the viewer but they aren't going to win over a filmmaker as easily.

I watched this a couple times and even listened to it without picture which was an interesting test because it conveyed the same story without any images...like it didn't need the images and that set off alarms in my head as a filmmaker.

I feel like I'm being a snob. I felt the character didn't have an arc...he was just the same throughout. My fiancee said that is what makes him scary because he is so ruthless and unmotivated like you can't reason with him, but for me it wasn't enough.

So that all being said this was in my top 3.

Laters,

Ando
 
Ando,

thanks for clarifying your thoughts, it's rough here on the internet sometimes, without inflection or emotion or anything like that apparent in what you type, sometimes what you really mean to say can get lost in the shuffle of the words.

That being said, thanks for watching more than once, and I appreciate your thoughts on how his performance effected you in a repeat viewing situation. I haven't had much time to sort of "test" that effect on other people, so maybe i should, like ask "did this have the same effect the 2nd time, how bout the 5th?"

I've also listened to herman and erik's track without the pictures and it made my hair stand up the first time I did. Trust me, it's creepier in 5.1. :)
 
hybridtheory said:
hey thanks Michele, and thank your little birdie for us too. I think you are actually the first to comment on the wine, most people get caught up with the shotgun shot that follows, so thats really cool!

Thanks again for the watch and comments.

where in the carolinas are you located???
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Wilmywood! I was the first to comment on the wine? With all these filmmakers? Hello boys....lol

andoguru said:
Hey Michele and hybridtheory,

I feel like I'm being a snob. I felt the character didn't have an arc...he was just the same throughout. My fiancee said that is what makes him scary because he is so ruthless and unmotivated like you can't reason with him, but for me it wasn't enough.

Laters,

Ando
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Ando....I love that your fiancee got the same impression I did. That might be the male and female differences speaking out in their own way. Women would be more intimidated by a man like that, then other men would. Men don't feel threatened as quickly as women...so now I am wondering if he would need some other shot to make the men scared of this guy too.

I don't think you are being a snob...I think you are being a film guy. The good thing on that...you are not the intended market. Well you are and are not. You are because it is in this contest BUT...not one of us makes movies to please each other. We do it to please ourselves and the audience. The audience is not as sophisticated as a filmmaker in breaking down the film.

In fact...the normal movie viewer has never once debated the film after the fact other than to say they did or did not like it.

I was at a screening at the University two weeks ago and one film actor brought his new 'woman du jour' who does not work in the biz at all. After the film we were all doing the debate thing and this woman honest to goodness said "I don't get it why you are all saying that stuff, I thought it was good". This was a woman over 30 and she thought we were attacking the film when we started to debate the finer points. She jumped to defend it and I had to fill her in that we were not attacking it and this was normal for us.

She honestly did not get why we were doing it. So, no I don't think you are a snob....I just don't think you or I are the audience.

Forget the audience and you give up film making because they buy the tickets! Try to please other filmmakers and your project won't ever be finished!
 
Michele Seidman said:
Forget the audience and you give up film making because they buy the tickets! Try to please other filmmakers and your project won't ever be finished!
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Amen! :laugh:

I do appreciate reading critiques from fellow filmmakers though. The key is... don't change your vision based on someone else's opinion. Take note and keep some of their better points in the back of your mind when you are creating the next project.

Cheers,

Mike
 
Hey guys,

I do agree you shouldn't change your vision for the film and story. That is a must for every filmmaker.

I heard someone say the other day that with film you always have to play to the 'lowest common denominator' and that is so true. The average viewer is way less sophisticated and that isn't a slight or anything but people take something for what it is and what it makes them feel at that moment. That is actually admirable because then they can enjoy a movie for what they see in it.

I was going to mention the GRUDGE with Sarah Michelle Gellar...now I don't usually dig these movies that much but this one scared the crap out of me. I mean I was terrified and I like watched it during the day at home with a lot of windows. And the reason why it scared me besides the loud sound cues was because the ghosts in the story were killing innocent people just for the heck of it and there was no stopping then. It being a supernatural thing I guess is what scared me and maybe that is an element that would make more men afraid because it isn't something you can beat up. Davis' character was pretty crazy but I think I could take him if I wasn't strapped to a chair...or if he didn't have a sledge hammer, but you get my point. He's just another person so I don't fear him really. Anywho...yeah the Grudge...good movie for what it was.

Laters,
Ando
 
Kyser said:
Amen! :laugh:

I do appreciate reading critiques from fellow filmmakers though. The key is... don't change your vision based on someone else's opinion. Take note and keep some of their better points in the back of your mind when you are creating the next project.

Cheers,

Mike
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Exactly!! It is nice to get the feedback as long as you don't let it take you off track!

andoguru said:
Hey guys,

Davis' character was pretty crazy but I think I could take him if I wasn't strapped to a chair...or if he didn't have a sledge hammer, but you get my point. He's just another person so I don't fear him really. Anywho...yeah the Grudge...good movie for what it was.

Laters,
Ando
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Bingo....a man is not scared of him because he thinks he can take him! That is exactly what I was talking about...HOWEVER a woman looks at this guy and his size is not what she fears...it IS his calm manner and lack of emotion that chills her to the bone!

I think that is exactly what would make it a great date. Think of all the women crawling in to their boyfriends lap because he is not scared while she is freaked!!

Date movie!
 
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