An Error in Common (Short Film)

The Noble Robot

The Noble Robot

Active member
Hey all,

I've shot a short film on HVX and I just completed the first edit.

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Synopsis: A man chases after a thief, and in the process, accidentally catches a train. Meanwhile, his friends hatch a plan to make things right. Awkward hilarity throughout.
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Other than the usual editing fixes (there are a few), I still have color correction to do. Also, there's a lot of sound and sound effects work left (not to mention that I have to write a score for it). And a few shots will require some light compositing effects (my hand is clearly visible in one shot, for example).

But... I really want feedback before I finish it, so I'm posting a link to my film here (EDIT: I've removed the link since no one seemed to give a damn. I'll just repost it when it's finished). Please respond with feedback on everything, from the direction to the story to the edit.

It's shot on HVX (720/24pN), and I think it looks great, but it was shot on the cheap using available light, with me on camera and one person with a boom mic, so it's not as good as it could look, but I knew that going in. Also, the online video is 640x360 and has some obvious compression artifacts (it's just a test clip, after all).

Thanks in advance, everyone!
 
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The audio work is not started. In this cut, some of the clips have the in-cam audio, and in others the audio is missing entirely. It exists, it's just not in the edit yet.

I was just hoping for some quickj feedback on the edit, pacing, story, and the performances before I lock down the picture. The polish comes later (and I will update this thread at that time).
 
Didn't seem to really have a resolution. It ended; now what? What's he going to do? Wander forever, as buying another train tcket seems to suggest? How come he never meets up with his friends?
 
He would supposedly meet up with his friends eventually, and life will probably go on.

Each character ends up pleased with themselves, yet nothing good has happened to any of them.

James buys a ticket so that he is finally following the rules, which after what happens to him, is all he really wants. He will never get his bag back, but he doesn't care anymore. His friends think that they've avenged their friend, and they did get his phone back, but they've also just mugged an innocent person, and done nothing but aggravate James. Finder, on the other hand, just called 911, hoping to resolve his situation, but when the police show up, he'll have to explain what he was doing "claiming a prize" with someone else's phone.

By ending the film where it ends, it's a tidy ending for all, but we (the audience) know better, which is the whole point of the film.

You are right that the story itself has no resolution, but the film frames it in a way that it does for the characters. Life has no tidy endings, and yet we project them onto our situations, forgetting that we will have to deal with another challenge tomorrow.

The film ends basically because there's no more story to tell. You can guess what happens next.
 
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