Short Film: "Coaster"

B

btangonan

Active member
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGZDj9MUNVo

This is my first foray into the world of digital film making (or any film making for that matter). It's a sci-fi drama about a man who comes across a website that lets him view what could have happened in the past 24 hours of his life.

It had to be cut down from 15 minutes to 5 minutes for an upcoming short film contest, so if it seems rushed and condensed, it's because it is. Also, it was shot on 3 different cameras: DVC-30, GS200, and DVX-100A. Why? Because my GS250 was stolen, the GS200 was a loner, the DVC-30 belonged to a stand-in videographer, and I ended up selling my guitar and amp to buy a DVX.

Above is the link to the YouTube version (I'll update when it's up on my personal site). I appreciate any feedback people are willing to offer.
 
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Looks good. I liked it! Would like to see the 15 minute version because you're right the 3 minute version seems ultra compressed. The pivital scene being him walking left or right doesn't bode well with me. I would have rathered it being something to do with him actually getting the drink spilt on him as the whole alternative reality thing is an interesting enough concept to stop it being a cliche moment. Also him having a relationship of some sort with the victim would have justified his mood in the latter. Nicely filmed though, very clear cut. I imagine the 15 minute version is much more indepth, that sort of storyline would be a hard task to compress down to 3 minutes and pull off emotionally.
 
Thanks for the feedback, craaig. I'll definitely post the long version once it's cut.

I'm not quite sure what you mean about the connection between him getting his coffee spilt and him turning left or right. Maybe it wasn't clear in the short, but the reason he must choose to go left or right is that he's deciding whether to go home to change his shirt, or to just continue on to work with a stained shirt. Part of the problem is that you can't really see the stain on his shirt when he spills it. I suppose that would have made it clearer.

As for the victim, I think that's an interesting idea. I chose to write the victim as a complete stranger because i felt that it would be more telling of the main character's latent heroic nature if he chose to help a stranger in danger. I think the dramatic tension would have been greater if his friend were at risk, but at the same time he is risking himself by confronting two potentially armed thugs.

Thanks for you comments. It always helps to get a fresh take on one's work.
 
Not bad.... I really didn't think that the music suited the movie at all. The acting also seemed a little off on most fronts. I would also do a little more hand-held work. There seemed to be far too many static shots.

I did really like the idea though. There were also some nice shots as well.

Must have tough to cut it down to 5 minutes.

Cheers,

Mike
 
Good job on the short, it held my interest the whole way though which is saying someone in the "Youtube-Generation" of watching videos.

I personally liked the static shots, it thought it gave some time to digest what happened in the previous scene. For me it was the handheld shots that didn't do it.

But I too would love to see the full verison. Any chance of you posting that one?
 
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