Lemon: A Short Film
- Thread starter nikovision
- Start date
Wow alright, this is weird. When i watch your video I have this weird problem where quicktime tells me that an illegal operation has occured and it shuts down firefox. I tried watching this in both windows explorer and firefox and the same problem keeps happening. This has never happened to me before, but for some reason it keeps popping up for all of the new Quicktime videos i watch.
So just a warning to everybody, Don't upgrade to QuickTime 7.2
This sucks....
So just a warning to everybody, Don't upgrade to QuickTime 7.2
This sucks....
disjecta
Lucky Duck
I thought your short had a lot of potential but it suffered from some major problems.
1. Your sound was all over the place. In the dialog scenes, each speaker has their own sound environment in the background and the edits (from a sound perspective) are jarring and unprofessional.
2. Your edits were way too long and it was a little excrutiating to watch every single detail of opening fridge doors, opening cabinet doors, getting a cup, etc. There is no need to show things happening in real time like that, particularly in a short. People get the point when you show him seeing the lemonade in the fridge and then the next shot is him drinking it.
3. Because you are working with amateur actors, and kids to boot, you really need to make your cuts short. That way, you can hide a lot of the tentative performances.
4. Your punchline was really weak. I think you could have come up with a clever twist where the boy was able to exact some kind of revenge on his sister or something like that.
I did like the color palette you chose. It had a vaguely 60s or early 70s feel to it, at least on my computer screen.
Overall, I think you could have conveyed the same story in about 1/3 the time it took you to tell it. Writing a stronger script, tightening up editing and keeping the pace consistent in general will help your next movie. Pay close attention to sound as a primary concern, not an afterthought.
It's been said before but it's worth another mention; if your sound is bad, it doesn't matter how wonderful your film looks, the audience will not enjoy it. Sound should always be as important as your visual.
Keep shooting and keep learning.
1. Your sound was all over the place. In the dialog scenes, each speaker has their own sound environment in the background and the edits (from a sound perspective) are jarring and unprofessional.
2. Your edits were way too long and it was a little excrutiating to watch every single detail of opening fridge doors, opening cabinet doors, getting a cup, etc. There is no need to show things happening in real time like that, particularly in a short. People get the point when you show him seeing the lemonade in the fridge and then the next shot is him drinking it.
3. Because you are working with amateur actors, and kids to boot, you really need to make your cuts short. That way, you can hide a lot of the tentative performances.
4. Your punchline was really weak. I think you could have come up with a clever twist where the boy was able to exact some kind of revenge on his sister or something like that.
I did like the color palette you chose. It had a vaguely 60s or early 70s feel to it, at least on my computer screen.
Overall, I think you could have conveyed the same story in about 1/3 the time it took you to tell it. Writing a stronger script, tightening up editing and keeping the pace consistent in general will help your next movie. Pay close attention to sound as a primary concern, not an afterthought.
It's been said before but it's worth another mention; if your sound is bad, it doesn't matter how wonderful your film looks, the audience will not enjoy it. Sound should always be as important as your visual.
Keep shooting and keep learning.