First attempt at a serious film, trailer included

HBlack

HBlack

Underage Member
So, after about a year of making completely irrelevant 2 minute videos and posting them on youtube, I've started trying to make my first short film. I think by completion it'll be 20-30 minutes. I'm filming with a borrowed camera, a rented mic, and equipment I make/find around the house.

I'm essentially filming on the whims of when my friends feel like doing it, and surprisingly enough they've been pretty good about it.

I know this isn't the caliber of work you're used to, but I thought I would post the trailer (which is basically just one of the opening scenes of the movie) to get some intelligent criticism.

Trailer:
http://www.dailymotion.com/Thunderllama/video/3959546



PARTY SCENE FROM THE MOVIE:
http://www.dailymotion.com/Thunderllama/video/x2n5sz_party-daily-motion_blog
No actual underage drinking occured.

Version 2, less fast paced:
http://www.dailymotion.com/Thunderllama/video/x2n6sm_party-2-daily-motion_blog

Which is better?



Screenshot:
6hi98c1.jpg


By the way, I'm 15 and going into grade 11. That's me in the trailer. I've decided I'm not going to make the mistake of attempting to direct and be the main character again.

This really has been a learning experience. I actually had the attention span to script the majority of it before I began shooting, but I didn't start storyboarding until I had filmed (and refilmed) several scenes. Next time, it's going to be much shorter, and completely scripted and storyboarded beforehand. I'll also have my own mic by then, which will save me the trouble of renting.

One of the small obstacles I had to overcome, was to convincingly make it look like someone was shooting out a window and hitting someone across the street, who is also in a second story window. To do it I had the shooter look through binoculars, and cut to a shot taken by strapping my camera on the end of a huge pvc pipe and holding it up to the window. Ghetto rigged indeed.
 
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For a first serious film, it got some chuckles out of me. :) I like the clip so far. Very well directed, especially for a first attempt. Good luck with the rest!
 
nice start, have at my young friend, welcome to the amazing world of movie making, and no movie is irrelavent, you learn something everytime you point a camera
 
I thought that was quite nicely done. Nice timing. The audio for your logo at the end, though, was much louder than your clip audio and it made my downstairs neighbors pound on the ceiling (but, then, they're pricks)
 
Excellent! Great beginning, and sounds like you're gaining an appreciation for having a plan before pushing rec. What part of the world are you located? People such as yourself who exhibit some understanding of which end the light goes in can often score an incredible amount of time, talent and gear from these boards.

Thanks for posting, looking forward to more.

Another great thing about this biz - the screen absolutely gives a s**t less how old you are . . . or aren't. Talent & crew (smart ones) only care if you're competent. Enjoy!
 
One more thought - if you're getting a mic, be sure to wade through the audio stickies. Incredible wealth of info there, saved me from some very expensive mistakes!:beer:
 
Nice job.
Sounds like you're taking the right lessons away from this too.
I think we've all been at that point - setting out to do a "short" film which winds up being 20-30minutes long, only to realize it woudl have been better to concentrate on a solid 5 minute short.

Keep it up, and keep posting your work.

As far as 'critique' - at least on my speakers, the narration was almost hard to hear over the music, sounded like they were competing with eachother, instead of having the music compliment the voice.

And I agree with the note about your logo audio hit at the end - it was way too loud (or, the audio on the video was way too low).

Either way - looking forward to seeing the final piece.
Good luck with it.
 
Yeah, I've heard comments about the music conflicting with the dialogue before, and I've since fixed that. To make things more difficult, for reasons unknown youtube seems to make any sound recorded with the external mic much quieter than any songs I use (this doesn't apply to the posted video, but I'm just making note of it). I'm going to have to try a different file type.
 
Recorded parts of a party scene today. I've realized that even barely passable acting is difficult to come by, and that giving people a situation and telling them to act as they normally would (even if I would be perfectly capable of doing it myself) isn't enough, as they end up saying incredibly cheesy things. Regardless, I got some pretty good footage and was able to make 10 people seem like they crowded a house.


EDIT: Oh lord. The camera appears to be broken. I'm taking it in monday... this may seriously effect the filming of this movie.
 
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EDIT: Oh lord. The camera appears to be broken.
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The words that chill us as no horror scene ever could. . . damn. Once again, where are you shooting this?

On the party scene - a little too much of the handheld look for my taste, couple of shots were excellent, most of the rest framed very poorly. Pacing was far to quick for me to keep any semblance of story . . .imho.
 
I'm in southern Ontario.

I do see what you mean with the party scene. I suppose I'm trying to get too much footage into too short a time span. I'll try slowing it down a bit.

Luckily enough, I've managed to borrow another camera from another friend. There is hope after all.
 
I added a slowed down version of the party scene, but I really do need other people to tell me hwo the pacing is, because if you've already seen it several times it's easier to understand what's happening.
 
HBlack said:
I added a slowed down version of the party scene, but I really do need other people to tell me hwo the pacing is, because if you've already seen it several times it's easier to understand what's happening.
Click to expand...


EDIT: I think the slowed down version is a bit too slow. I've fixed it up a bit, and I think I've acheived a happy medium. I'll upload it later.
 
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