First Short Film - feedback welcome

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emball

Member
Hi there. My background is post/location audio and composing/songwriting, but lately I've had a real interest in film making. Here is my first attempt at it.

The main motivation for this film was that I wanted to do something totally non-linear. Everything I had done so far has been cut off the front, get rid of that talking in the middle, fade the end etc kind of thing, so I wanted something more challenging.

Let me say this video editing was harder than I gave it credit, but I also found it a very rewarding experience.

It's an artsy kind of plot, I'd love to hear some opinions!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUXK-GzVGck
 
Cool vid. For a first it's, well, it's a first. :) Interesting concept and fun. I enjoyed it, even though I didn't really catch the ending all too well. It's not really artsy though. I wouldn't call it that. Plus the door thing has been done many times before, but doesn't mean it was cliché.

If I had to criticism it simply as a film, and not a first attempt, here's how I would do it.


You had the editing down in terms of opening doors and finding himself in a new place. That was seamless to me. I didn't expect him to end up somewhere else. However the problem I had with this is that he didn't really go through many doors. Just one door, then he walked around. If you just opened a door and found yourself in a hallway, wouldn't you try opening other doors to get back?

The acting was so so. I'm assuming it was a buddy, but it was basic "trying to be funny". He didn't really have very many lines though.

In the hallway it seemed a bit too dark at times. Watch your exposure. Maybe try and bring in some lights next time.

The cinematography was probably the worse part of the film. Sorry. It was bland and basic. It was a point and shoot style. It's what I like to call high school project shooting. Every time he went down the stairs I expected the camera to be down the next steps, watch him come down... and pan to the left. Or when he went down a hall, it would watch him coming to the camera, then pans to the left to follow. There were a few more interesting shots. you followed him down a hallway, you had a POV of looking down the two hallways, but try different things. Try hand held over his shoulder as he walks. Try from above him as he goes down the stairs. There's limited space, but never limited camera angles. Watch Run Lola Run for examples of how to shoot continuous running and keeping it interesting through camera angles.

Watch the 180 degree rule. I THINK you broke it at one point near the beginning when he was at his desk before he talked? Don't have the time to look at it again.

Also, it went on for a bit too long. I was surprised it was just 3 minutes long. For a long while he was doing nothing but walking around. He'd go down some stairs, then some more stairs, then some more stairs. You don't need to follow him all the way down the stairs or as he travels. If you cut, people know that he travelled a certain distance. Don't bore us with useless walking, unless it's filled with something interesting, like him looking around funny, making weird faces. It's all about pacing.

Good music though. Works with the film.
 
wow thanks for the in depth review! I really appreciate the advice.

when it comes to the things that you were harshest on (I don't take this negatively, I wanted feedback) those are the things I need to work on the most. I'm really starting to watch films and TV in a new light and seeing these things in action.

you really take for granted what makes an interesting shot/scene.

again thanks a lot for the critique and I will certainly take all of those things into effect.

**edit** I should also note that the main goal of this project was to practice my non-linear editing with final cut. The script and plot were loose at best as I'm sure you all can tell. I started teaching myself the program about 2 weeks ago and everything I had done up to this had been completely linear. All of the feedback about what could have make it better is greatly appreciated. I'm really interested in a cinematic critique as this is treading new water for me 100%.

Thanks!
 
emball said:
wow thanks for the in depth review! I really appreciate the advice.

when it comes to the things that you were harshest on (I don't take this negatively, I wanted feedback) those are the things I need to work on the most.
Click to expand...

Good. You're one step closer to becoming a film maker. That's the attitude you need. I'm glad I could help. I like helping people just starting up. I suppose it's why, after school, I might want to teach some beginner classes.
 
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