Quaternity Productions Presents "HONEYPOT"
- Thread starter Alex Jeffery
- Start date
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Oh, I can see the sand dunes now that I look at them that way, but he'd have to be laying on his head/side, and I didn't see a shadow cast like it is from the hand/gun, so I assumed sky. Besides, you can see the whispy clouds ... oh, and a bunny if you look hard enough!
Ted Arabian
Member with Ladder
Wow! Alex, you are developing into a fine filmmaker! Very impressed with many elements of your film.
Kyle, your camera work is wonderful and interesting!
I love the lighting.
The bad news is that your film stopped at like 4 minutes or so. I don't know if I am having download gliches or what but yours is the 2nd film to do that.
Re-downloading now to finish watching!
Great job you two!!!
-Ted
Kyle, your camera work is wonderful and interesting!
I love the lighting.
The bad news is that your film stopped at like 4 minutes or so. I don't know if I am having download gliches or what but yours is the 2nd film to do that.
Re-downloading now to finish watching!
Great job you two!!!
-Ted
chris f
Veteran
Standard Disclaimer: I've watched half of the films so far and have yet to see a bad film. Congratulations to every film maker, everyone did a great job. All my comments and criticisms are meant to be constructive and helpful and in no way am I trying to take anything away from what you accomplished.
Good: Intro was great, startled me and grabbed my attention. Pretty good interior lighting. Really liked the rain and storm fx. The honey shot at the end was very cool.
Not as Good: Maybe I need to watch it again, but I didn't really understand the film (and how it related to the intro). What was the main character's motivation for telling that lady everything? (seemed a little too convenient). The sound quality on the dialogue was a little low at parts.
Good: Intro was great, startled me and grabbed my attention. Pretty good interior lighting. Really liked the rain and storm fx. The honey shot at the end was very cool.
Not as Good: Maybe I need to watch it again, but I didn't really understand the film (and how it related to the intro). What was the main character's motivation for telling that lady everything? (seemed a little too convenient). The sound quality on the dialogue was a little low at parts.
Alex Jeffery
Well-known member
Ted, thanks for the kind words! I'm currently downloading SpyMaster and some others and can't wait to see it!
Chris, thank you for the critiques. I totally agree that the plot came out muddled and confusing. He was telling her everything because he was drugged up, but it really wasn't clear at all. I should've maybe used some shots from his POV to make this clear. Matthew was the guy at the beginnig, the guy he wanted to get out and appologize to. The beginning flashback was from the mission that went bad that caused Robert to end up in Candace's grip. I also totally agree about the sound. It's painfully low at times. I plan on revisiting that before I make the DVD.
Thanks to everyone who has responded thus far! I look forward to seeing all the films.
Oh! And to cover some questions about the beginning sequence: that is indeed the sky, and I just keyed out the plain blue sky in after effects and replaced it with something more appealing to the eye. Those slow mo shots were a pain to key though, so my buddy Nate helped me do some of those in Shake.
Chris, thank you for the critiques. I totally agree that the plot came out muddled and confusing. He was telling her everything because he was drugged up, but it really wasn't clear at all. I should've maybe used some shots from his POV to make this clear. Matthew was the guy at the beginnig, the guy he wanted to get out and appologize to. The beginning flashback was from the mission that went bad that caused Robert to end up in Candace's grip. I also totally agree about the sound. It's painfully low at times. I plan on revisiting that before I make the DVD.
Thanks to everyone who has responded thus far! I look forward to seeing all the films.
Oh! And to cover some questions about the beginning sequence: that is indeed the sky, and I just keyed out the plain blue sky in after effects and replaced it with something more appealing to the eye. Those slow mo shots were a pain to key though, so my buddy Nate helped me do some of those in Shake.
Mark Johnson
The Dude Abides
Guys I am in love with your camera work. Stebbs is the man. Alex, the opening is just friggin' killer. Tim and I went 'whoa' and played it back a few times before going on since we liked it so much. You were great in the scene and I can't say enough for how much I enjoyed watching this.
I wish you had scripted it a bit tighter as I had a couple wtf? moments trying to figure out what was going on. However, after watching a couple times I sorted it out and enjoyed the story very very much. You guys are a force to be reckoned with and I can only hope you and Stebbins collaborate on the next one (in addition to coming back out to crew with us on our next one!)
I wish you had scripted it a bit tighter as I had a couple wtf? moments trying to figure out what was going on. However, after watching a couple times I sorted it out and enjoyed the story very very much. You guys are a force to be reckoned with and I can only hope you and Stebbins collaborate on the next one (in addition to coming back out to crew with us on our next one!)
cinealma
Veteran
First off I like the photography of this one. Really capture the mood. The compositions were excellent. Sound was terrific!
The acting was ok, but this was one of those films where the actors seemed to young for the parts. The woman, I can accept.
So an A+ for style. The story was ok. The acting was hard to get into.
Good job. Thanks for screening.
The acting was ok, but this was one of those films where the actors seemed to young for the parts. The woman, I can accept.
So an A+ for style. The story was ok. The acting was hard to get into.
Good job. Thanks for screening.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
Yes, the opening shot and the CC is stellar! I really loved the look of it.
Very dreamlike.
Nice camera work throughout.
Mike
Very dreamlike.
Nice camera work throughout.
Mike
gabrielflorit
Well-known member
I enjoyed this one. Beautiful, gorgeous lighting. Very appealing.
The girl did her job really well, playing a seductive nurse. The guy - well, I didn't buy his delivery. Not much of an actor there.
But the best part was the camerawork, some of the scenes were absolutely perfect!
The girl did her job really well, playing a seductive nurse. The guy - well, I didn't buy his delivery. Not much of an actor there.
But the best part was the camerawork, some of the scenes were absolutely perfect!
Kyle Stebbins
AD GURU
Thanks for the compliments on the filmmwork! I'll admit that it was halfway through the production of this film that I started to experiment with high-key lighting... as you can tell about halfway through the film... and I was very pleased with the result. You can look forward to lush and better-executed lighting in films to come. I'm having a blast working as light designer and director of photography on our films and I'm glad a lot of people here are responding to the work!
As for the actors and storyline, I'll let Alex give you his comments on that. I'm behind him all the way... I love Greg Parmeter's portrayal of the lead. He did it EXACTLY the way he was directed and even threw in some cool twists. Pleasantly surprised, I was. -- I'll have you all know that it was upwards of 85-90 degrees at our location (the attic of an old house) so we had to air our the place by opening all sorts of windows which caused us to have some audio issues (dogs barking, cars honking/driving by)
Anyways, thanks for the comments!!
-kyle
As for the actors and storyline, I'll let Alex give you his comments on that. I'm behind him all the way... I love Greg Parmeter's portrayal of the lead. He did it EXACTLY the way he was directed and even threw in some cool twists. Pleasantly surprised, I was. -- I'll have you all know that it was upwards of 85-90 degrees at our location (the attic of an old house) so we had to air our the place by opening all sorts of windows which caused us to have some audio issues (dogs barking, cars honking/driving by)
Anyways, thanks for the comments!!
-kyle
Zach Janky
Member
I just remember watching during the capturing process and being in awe at some of the shots. Truly fabulous stuff, especially considering Stebbs used only a couple of light sources that could have been bought at Home Depot. Alex, I say we read a passage from your Sin City book before every shoot from now on. Style points for sure.
Alex, you know my thoughts on the story during preproduction. I think the overall intention of the script came out well. What was in the script was pretty much on the screen. Also, I won't ever underestimate the time it will take to find a pair of vampire fangs ever again. Oi.
"Go eff yourself, Michael!"
That is all.
Alex, you know my thoughts on the story during preproduction. I think the overall intention of the script came out well. What was in the script was pretty much on the screen. Also, I won't ever underestimate the time it will take to find a pair of vampire fangs ever again. Oi.
Kyle Stebbins said:
"Go eff yourself, Michael!"
That is all.
Kyle Stebbins
AD GURU
HAHAHAHA!!! "You come back 'RATER! -- Go EFF yoself MICHAEL!!"
HAHAHAHA oh man. damnit those were good times.
thanks for that, janksta. hows the new cam and when can i see some footage!?
HAHAHAHA oh man. damnit those were good times.
thanks for that, janksta. hows the new cam and when can i see some footage!?
Aaron Marshall
Well-known member
I liked how this film was lit. The story reminded me of this series that was on Fox in 97-98 called "Ghost Stories". I bought them on DVD at Goodwill. It was the best $3 I ever spent.
Cool make-up job on the female character. That seizure inducing fast editing worked. It scared me.
Cool make-up job on the female character. That seizure inducing fast editing worked. It scared me.
Zach Janky
Member
Camera's working fine, Stebbs. I have a job as a videographer for a company this summer, so I've been using it for that. I haven't shot too much for it yet. It's mostly been script work with a couple proof of concept videos. Hardcore shooting begins soon though. In the meantime, I'm currently helping them design a studio room for photography and video work. They want me to design and help build fake walls that can be moved around. Sound familiar? At least I don't have to draw a stairs. Should be good experience too. Anyway, give me a hollar if you want to see some mean proof of concept videos.
Kyle Stebbins
AD GURU
Well man, that sounds like an excellent summer job. ****, best I've heard yet. All I've got is an internship at my bank in the advertising division. I'll be revamping their website and hopefully internalizing their commercial production.
Also have been doing some side work in web design. I'm learning a lot, that's for sure. I miss you down here, man. Lincoln ain't the same without all you guys. School is going to be so much different next year and I can't be any more excited. The dorms really wore on me.
Anyways, I can't wait to learn from you this fall, man. I bet you're picking up all kinds of skills at your job. Send me everything you've got, I can't wait to see it! Later, man!
-Kyle
Also have been doing some side work in web design. I'm learning a lot, that's for sure. I miss you down here, man. Lincoln ain't the same without all you guys. School is going to be so much different next year and I can't be any more excited. The dorms really wore on me.
Anyways, I can't wait to learn from you this fall, man. I bet you're picking up all kinds of skills at your job. Send me everything you've got, I can't wait to see it! Later, man!
-Kyle
StefanHaynes
Well-known member
On one hand, the cinematography/art design was absolutely stunning. Stellar cinematography, nice cuts, great lighting, and fantastic location all gave way to a darkly brilliant and disturbing piece of cinema, the likes of which I haven't seen since Scott Thomas' Deranged. At least in the way it looked. The opening shots were of special note. Alex, nice, I mean nice work man. Thought I was watching a studio film.
But then we get to the script/dialog/storytelling. Frankly, I was disappointed, especially since Another Day proved that you guys can really write and create realistic, believable characters. This script was very confusing, a bit messy, and (please don't hate me for this) quite boring. I saw huge amounts of potential lurking around every corner, but rarely did they pay off properly, leading me to believe that the script was fairly rushed (not a surprise considering it came around exam time, the absolutely most crammed time for student all year). The following were my biggest issues with the story/script.
1.) Robert waking up and looking at his bandage could have been much more interesting. I would have suggested crosscutting with previous encounters with Matthew, enlivening the footage as well as giving Robert some perceptable care for Matthew. There needed to be much more feeling.
2.) The introduction of Candace is very dull, especially for such a crucial character.
3.) The dialog, as a whole, was not very realistic, at least in my opinion. If style was where you were headed, there wasn't enough of that either. It's the same problem I had with The Corsairs (both the original short and the feature-length) dialog. It serves a single purpose: to advance the story. Dialog should go far deeper than that.
4.) I know you can only send actors so far, but if you want Candace to be a true "Evil Vixen," I would recommend much more overt sexuality.
5.) The whole "Jack" character was very confusing, and felt very forced, especially since he was introduced right after 'Matthew' was given a name. Let the audience soak up names before going on to the next.
6.) The "Frankenstein" flashback(s) were scary, but didn't really serve all that much of a perceptable (at least in my mind) purpose.
7.) The story (until the end) doesn't seem to really go anywhere. It's like the whole film was built around a tagline rather than the other way 'round. That wouldn't have been too bad if the film were shorter, but it made the whole 2-minute act (in the middle) a bit tiresome, and a bit negating of itself. You need to "kick it all up a notch." Let Robert escape, let Matthew break in, find Jack, make Candace a good girl, explore psychotic natures, dig in to the anti-biotics used, at least utilize flashbacks while Robert retells the story. If you need to just set it in a single room, explore the space-- go beyond a couple chairs and a table. Enter every facet, every board of the place. Make the audience as claustrophobic and "freaked out" as the characters.
You guys are better than this. You can make a film miles above the other filmmakers here. Do it!
Hang on, before you call me a clout chauvinistic pig who hates everything, let me say that your ending was excellent. It was so good, in fact, that had I over 100 posts, I would totally have voted for it.
I've also read through The Corsairs script, courtesy of Rob. I've re-written portions of it. If you're curious to see them, PM.
Good luck.
But then we get to the script/dialog/storytelling. Frankly, I was disappointed, especially since Another Day proved that you guys can really write and create realistic, believable characters. This script was very confusing, a bit messy, and (please don't hate me for this) quite boring. I saw huge amounts of potential lurking around every corner, but rarely did they pay off properly, leading me to believe that the script was fairly rushed (not a surprise considering it came around exam time, the absolutely most crammed time for student all year). The following were my biggest issues with the story/script.
1.) Robert waking up and looking at his bandage could have been much more interesting. I would have suggested crosscutting with previous encounters with Matthew, enlivening the footage as well as giving Robert some perceptable care for Matthew. There needed to be much more feeling.
2.) The introduction of Candace is very dull, especially for such a crucial character.
3.) The dialog, as a whole, was not very realistic, at least in my opinion. If style was where you were headed, there wasn't enough of that either. It's the same problem I had with The Corsairs (both the original short and the feature-length) dialog. It serves a single purpose: to advance the story. Dialog should go far deeper than that.
4.) I know you can only send actors so far, but if you want Candace to be a true "Evil Vixen," I would recommend much more overt sexuality.
5.) The whole "Jack" character was very confusing, and felt very forced, especially since he was introduced right after 'Matthew' was given a name. Let the audience soak up names before going on to the next.
6.) The "Frankenstein" flashback(s) were scary, but didn't really serve all that much of a perceptable (at least in my mind) purpose.
7.) The story (until the end) doesn't seem to really go anywhere. It's like the whole film was built around a tagline rather than the other way 'round. That wouldn't have been too bad if the film were shorter, but it made the whole 2-minute act (in the middle) a bit tiresome, and a bit negating of itself. You need to "kick it all up a notch." Let Robert escape, let Matthew break in, find Jack, make Candace a good girl, explore psychotic natures, dig in to the anti-biotics used, at least utilize flashbacks while Robert retells the story. If you need to just set it in a single room, explore the space-- go beyond a couple chairs and a table. Enter every facet, every board of the place. Make the audience as claustrophobic and "freaked out" as the characters.
You guys are better than this. You can make a film miles above the other filmmakers here. Do it!
Hang on, before you call me a clout chauvinistic pig who hates everything, let me say that your ending was excellent. It was so good, in fact, that had I over 100 posts, I would totally have voted for it.
I've also read through The Corsairs script, courtesy of Rob. I've re-written portions of it. If you're curious to see them, PM.
Good luck.
Michael_Petro
Veteran
good job guys.. thought it would have been cool if she got all crazy looking and knocked that glass out of his hand turned all skeletal and lifted him off the ground. "I don't think so"... :beer:
man 2 lights from home depot.... I gotta get a book about lighting or something.. I.. must... Learn..
man 2 lights from home depot.... I gotta get a book about lighting or something.. I.. must... Learn..
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Opening shot was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!! Clouds looked soo amazing I was questioning if it was greenscreened! Story was lacking (for me, unfortunately), and I found myself losing interest to the point of not really understanding what was going on, or caring. Acting also suffered to a degree for both roles. Cool title, and felt there was a lot of potential for this, but that the story needed to be strengthed, which may have given the talent something else to work with.
Again, that opening/cloud shot, however ... WOW!!!
Again, that opening/cloud shot, however ... WOW!!!
Edgen
Veteran
My Thoughts:
The opening.. I was think.. "Damn... this is going to be a cool film." Then.. I'm not sure.. I just kept waiting for the someone off screen to yell.. "... and cue thunderclap!" I think audio and sound FX should come naturally within a scene and almost blend in not even knowing it's there. Same usually with a score.
I would have liked to have seen flashbacks of the story as it is being told by the guy who was drugged. Maybe that's just what I was expecting so I kept waiting for it.
I did however; love the look of the film and some of those shots looked wonderful.
Looking forward to your next entry.
/j
The opening.. I was think.. "Damn... this is going to be a cool film." Then.. I'm not sure.. I just kept waiting for the someone off screen to yell.. "... and cue thunderclap!" I think audio and sound FX should come naturally within a scene and almost blend in not even knowing it's there. Same usually with a score.
I would have liked to have seen flashbacks of the story as it is being told by the guy who was drugged. Maybe that's just what I was expecting so I kept waiting for it.
I did however; love the look of the film and some of those shots looked wonderful.
Looking forward to your next entry.
/j