AFTERWARD - New Short Film Shot On The DVX.

FutureDVXUser said:
That was a really cool movie... For a second, I thought the guy was either gonna kill himself or get held up in his car...
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Hey. Thanks for checking it out.

-Kristopher
 
How about some ingaging background music when he's in the bathroom? That would really strengthen the scene. Anywhere in the movie really, even the opening. Worth a try anyway. I bet it helps emotional impact.
 
Interesting short.

It kept me engaged.

On my laptop the "bleach bypass" made it look clipped. Maybe that's just me.

The only thing I'd add is more cuts and spice up the cuts.

Perhaps when you cut to the various customers in states of fear near the end use a "flash cut" ending with a flash cut of your "tagonist." Is that "pro" or "an?"

Then again. That's just my opinion.

Good job.

ian (another ian ;-) )
 
I think the ending music works really well. In fact, right where the music starts is my favorite part of this short. It just clicks as he drives off on the road, the music playing, the view of him in the rear-view mirror, and cut to credits. Very cool.

The actors (where the music starts playing) are not very convincing, but I guess thats not a huge thing. The main actor plays a very convincing role, however.
 
I liked it. Personally I would've used more style since it's not the most interesting of stories, but maybe that's just me.

At 2:15, I noticed the camera cut to his POV later than most would. I think it would've been more powerful to use those low drone sounds in the bathroom, but as soon as he walks out of the bathroom (2:07) I would've shown his POV of everyone acting normally (cut the low sounds on the cut to this shot as well since the tension is gone and you want the completely normal ambient sound to return to contrast the low sounds), and then to a reaction shot of him that no one had held up the place.

Another personal opinion is than after he shoots the robber, I would've filmed it in a different style. Either suddenly handheld, dutch angle, or something else to get into the characters head since I'd imagine he's never killed anyone before.

Nice work though overall.
 
Gohanto said:
I liked it. Personally I would've used more style since it's not the most interesting of stories, but maybe that's just me.

At 2:15, I noticed the camera cut to his POV later than most would. I think it would've been more powerful to use those low drone sounds in the bathroom, but as soon as he walks out of the bathroom (2:07) I would've shown his POV of everyone acting normally (cut the low sounds on the cut to this shot as well since the tension is gone and you want the completely normal ambient sound to return to contrast the low sounds), and then to a reaction shot of him that no one had held up the place.

Another personal opinion is than after he shoots the robber, I would've filmed it in a different style. Either suddenly handheld, dutch angle, or something else to get into the characters head since I'd imagine he's never killed anyone before.

Nice work though overall.
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Hmmm... Thanks for watching.
 
I want to thank everyone for their input. The two versions that are online now have changed a lot in the past few days. I will be posting a new version very soon. Please continue to watch the two versions posted now, until the new one is up.

Thanks,

-Kristopher
 
ktdmoviemaker said:
Hi Everyone,

Below is a short film fresh off the DV Tape stock, called Afterward. I wrote, directed, shot and cut it. We are submitting it to several festivals. The rule is 5 MINUTES or less. Kudos to the lead actor, Brett A. Newton for all his help. He's more than an actor, he's a film guy.

As fellow filmmakers, please take a moment to comment and let me know what you think.
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2816742 (ORIGINAL VERSION - WITH DIALOGUE)


Enjoy,

-Kristopher



UPDATE:

HERE IS THE NEW VERSION.

http://www.ifilm.com/video/2817319
(REVISED EDIT - NO DIALOGUE IN CAR)
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You're knocking on the door...nice video, sound effects, suspense but the story needs help. ...I got lost somewhere AFTER the bathroom loud voices. Keep working, best of luck.
 
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