Thanks for the comments Roman and Rebecca. I appreciate you taking the time to watch and review my film. Now that this crazy weekend is over I plan to return the favor. Anyway, I based some of this on a friend of mine who woke up early one morning, made coffee and such, cleaned the house, showered and got dressed nice, wrote a note, then hung herself. She had a husband and a young baby. Nobody would have guessed. That was too sad for me so I decided to make a more tame version but with the same undertones. Also I made this film entirely on my own and was in it so it was fun to try and figure out how to shoot with nobody else there.
Your loving husband a film by Greg Johnson
- Thread starter Jazz Dog
- Start date
Jason Ramsey
Admin
I want to say. It has been a few days since I watched. But here are some of my initial impressions:
First, I thought you had a nicely edited, nicely shot piece, with a score that fit well with the visuals. Some nice cinematography, there.
My main x on the film, is that I was dying for a story. I found it interesting to watch, and I was engaged by your visuals, etc. But then it just ended. Maybe rather than just showing us how he leaves his family... you could show us a bit of the internal struggle. They why he came to this decision. I missed a story, but I thought technically, and creatively, the rest of your film was very nice to watch.
Good work.
Jason
First, I thought you had a nicely edited, nicely shot piece, with a score that fit well with the visuals. Some nice cinematography, there.
My main x on the film, is that I was dying for a story. I found it interesting to watch, and I was engaged by your visuals, etc. But then it just ended. Maybe rather than just showing us how he leaves his family... you could show us a bit of the internal struggle. They why he came to this decision. I missed a story, but I thought technically, and creatively, the rest of your film was very nice to watch.
Good work.
Jason
RebeccaD
Well-known member
Jazz Dog said:
Wow! Knowing you were in the film and a one man show (reminds me of Ted's I.D. for the Horrorfest) is even more impressive. Sad story about your friend. I was wondering throughout if the husband was going to suicide and how he was going to do it because that says a lot about the type of turmoil the individual is under. When he was packing a bag, I though, "Oh well, maybe he's just checking out and not suiciding..."
Again, great job and I have all the more respect for you doing such a large undertaking by yourself.
preston
Well-known member
some really great shots here. I didn't mind the long title sequence because you are storytelling at the same time, setting everything up. maybe you could smooth the transition a little and it would be more seamless. I liked this film a lot, despite some weaknesses. overall, they did not distract me from watching. I can't say that for some other films in this fest.
at first, I thought he was writing a suicide letter, but then I saw the suitcase. don't know if that was intentional, if it was - it worked on me. if not, no worries. it still flowed.
the voice-over was a weakness, but not too bad. it just needs polishing maybe.
you know what though? who cares, really? I mean about small stuff - the point is, we're not professionals, some of us are really new to filmmaking (which means learning through experience). this is more like a workshop for filmmakers. I'm not gonna beat you up too bad if I liked the film, if it was decent.
so don't sweat the small stuff, because each time it will get smaller and smaller, you know? good job - very emotional 6-minute drama. keep it up, Greg.
at first, I thought he was writing a suicide letter, but then I saw the suitcase. don't know if that was intentional, if it was - it worked on me. if not, no worries. it still flowed.
the voice-over was a weakness, but not too bad. it just needs polishing maybe.
you know what though? who cares, really? I mean about small stuff - the point is, we're not professionals, some of us are really new to filmmaking (which means learning through experience). this is more like a workshop for filmmakers. I'm not gonna beat you up too bad if I liked the film, if it was decent.
so don't sweat the small stuff, because each time it will get smaller and smaller, you know? good job - very emotional 6-minute drama. keep it up, Greg.
preston
Well-known member
ok, I'm not quite done with this one yet . . .
I watched it at work, just before I left for the day, and found myself thinking about it throughout the evening. at dinner, I commented to my wife about the great little film I saw earlier.
tonight I was still thinking about it, so I downloaded it and called her in to watch it with me. this time, I was not watching it from a filmmaker's perspective, I was just watching to see the story again.
wow, what a great job you've done here. from most of the reviews, it doesn't look like you're getting the credit you deserve.
this is preston's wife, jamie. i've been watching the films with preston and this is the first time i have felt compelled to comment myself. i still have a few more films to watch, but, honestly, if i could vote, i would vote for this as my favorite.
the opening sequence was perfection... it set up the story and provided a beautifully shot background for the opening credits. the shots were visually captivating while advancing the storyline at the same time. i loved the colors, the contrast, and the mood.
and i have to disagree with some of the previous comments about the plot not working... do they not understand that the husband leaving was the plot?
and i think both the wife's and the husband's facial expressions at the end were dead on. the near lack of emotion on her face was more emotional to me than crying or yelling. what's to be said at that point? and the way he looked at her and then just slid out of the picture...nice. it was obvious he hadn't planned on her waking up.
i would have loved to see him handwrite the letter, but then, typing seemed to add to the idea that he was a perfectionist (which was, in my mind, what led to his not thinking he was good enough for her). i liked all of the thoughtful little things he did right before he did something so thoughtless.
this was not pretentious or over-the-top in anyway. it was realistic and emotional, simplistic yet stylized. and i think the reasons for him leaving and the aftermath are all left up to interpretation. very artistic and beautiful film.
and maybe it's because i am a wife and a mother, but i was completely emotionally invested in this story.
i would like to see what the film would have been like if you had left the voice over out all together and just showed a few of the important lines from the letter as it was being typed... i think the impact of no talking whatsoever may have hit home even more... but maybe not, it's just a thought...
overall...wow. i'm very impressed and i loved it. you have a great eye. are you, by any chance, a photographer? and to do this on your own? great job.
I watched it at work, just before I left for the day, and found myself thinking about it throughout the evening. at dinner, I commented to my wife about the great little film I saw earlier.
tonight I was still thinking about it, so I downloaded it and called her in to watch it with me. this time, I was not watching it from a filmmaker's perspective, I was just watching to see the story again.
wow, what a great job you've done here. from most of the reviews, it doesn't look like you're getting the credit you deserve.
this is preston's wife, jamie. i've been watching the films with preston and this is the first time i have felt compelled to comment myself. i still have a few more films to watch, but, honestly, if i could vote, i would vote for this as my favorite.
the opening sequence was perfection... it set up the story and provided a beautifully shot background for the opening credits. the shots were visually captivating while advancing the storyline at the same time. i loved the colors, the contrast, and the mood.
and i have to disagree with some of the previous comments about the plot not working... do they not understand that the husband leaving was the plot?
and i think both the wife's and the husband's facial expressions at the end were dead on. the near lack of emotion on her face was more emotional to me than crying or yelling. what's to be said at that point? and the way he looked at her and then just slid out of the picture...nice. it was obvious he hadn't planned on her waking up.
i would have loved to see him handwrite the letter, but then, typing seemed to add to the idea that he was a perfectionist (which was, in my mind, what led to his not thinking he was good enough for her). i liked all of the thoughtful little things he did right before he did something so thoughtless.
this was not pretentious or over-the-top in anyway. it was realistic and emotional, simplistic yet stylized. and i think the reasons for him leaving and the aftermath are all left up to interpretation. very artistic and beautiful film.
and maybe it's because i am a wife and a mother, but i was completely emotionally invested in this story.
i would like to see what the film would have been like if you had left the voice over out all together and just showed a few of the important lines from the letter as it was being typed... i think the impact of no talking whatsoever may have hit home even more... but maybe not, it's just a thought...
overall...wow. i'm very impressed and i loved it. you have a great eye. are you, by any chance, a photographer? and to do this on your own? great job.
nessworks
Member
In my opinion, the idea that I got from the film that it was left up to the viewer to draw their conclusion on why the main character reached his "breaking point" and what that breaking point was up for interpretation. What triggers my breaking point may be different from what trigger yours or the next persons I enjoyed that it was left up to my imagination to fill in that gap and it made me think. During the laptop scene, damm I thought he was going to check out! Reading through the post and learning of your loss of your friend, sorry to hear that, no words can cover that.
So did he leave, did he come back, something else ... I don't know? My initial thought was he just left "Stage left" ... but I like the fact that it is left up to me. That is a style of film making. Was he "loving husband" ...? I'm sure he was but the title was a metaphor for your short ... and depression, etc ... or whatever I come up in theory is what drove him to act ... Haven't we all felt this at times? And is this what you were shooting for?
Understaninding that you did it solely by yourself quite an accomplishment. Your acting is your acting ... I have never been awed by Quentin Terintino's acting but it works and now I look forward to seeing him in any film. Nice cinematography, rhythm for your edits. There are a couple that cloud have been shorter but that is once again, interpretation.
Off to watch more films! Fun week. I am traveling so I will pick up again next time I get to "WiFi"
Nice work, Good Luck.
Look forward to more films in the future.
So did he leave, did he come back, something else ... I don't know? My initial thought was he just left "Stage left" ... but I like the fact that it is left up to me. That is a style of film making. Was he "loving husband" ...? I'm sure he was but the title was a metaphor for your short ... and depression, etc ... or whatever I come up in theory is what drove him to act ... Haven't we all felt this at times? And is this what you were shooting for?
Understaninding that you did it solely by yourself quite an accomplishment. Your acting is your acting ... I have never been awed by Quentin Terintino's acting but it works and now I look forward to seeing him in any film. Nice cinematography, rhythm for your edits. There are a couple that cloud have been shorter but that is once again, interpretation.
Off to watch more films! Fun week. I am traveling so I will pick up again next time I get to "WiFi"
Nice work, Good Luck.
Look forward to more films in the future.
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
Greg, I was all set to review this as I have all the others without looking at previous comments. I didn't make it on this one. I read your story of your friend. This one needed to end that way, perhaps a different method but that's what you set us up for and then you didn't deliver. I'm sorry but it felt like you chickened out and softened it up. It would have been so much more powerful and heartbreaking.
The other thing I'd comment on is the tone of your voice during the VO (reading of the letter). This is a time, IMO, when VO is totally appropriate but your tone sounded more angry than depressed.
The other thing I'd comment on is the tone of your voice during the VO (reading of the letter). This is a time, IMO, when VO is totally appropriate but your tone sounded more angry than depressed.
Thank Blaine. I agree with you and I thought about going all out but I did chicken out thinking I did not have the time and skills to do a suicide ending. That, to me, is something that needs to be done right. I also agree with the VO critique. For me it was either be up all night recording it over and over or just bust out one take and go with it. I am no actor so I didn't even think about getting emotion into it or anything. I now wish I would have put more effort into it. Maybe I will re-record it just for my use....
Thanks.
Thanks.
ripupthehwy
Well-known member
I really liked this film. Simple but it left me thinking about it at the end. Nice!
david jerome
Well-known member
Hey Jazz Dog, I just watched this film again. I love this film. The mood you set is just heart renching. The music is perfect. Before reading any of the other posts on here I had decided how I wanted to interpret it. I wanted to believe he couldn't be happy in this world and was not even thinking about trying another life. He didn't think there was a better life than what he had. He thought that if he couldn't be happy in the life he had then he just couldn't be happy. I didn't need to see him kill himself. He was giving up. He had nothing left in him. I got the feeling that he was going away to eventually die. Maybe not right away but it was coming. It reminded me of a dog I had once who was old and tired and went into the woods alone to die. I think a suicide would have been to much. He loved his family and didn't want to put them through that. Anyway, that's my interpretation and it made me really like the guy. I just wanted him to find healing. You drew some real emotions out of me with this film. More than any other film in this fest. With the title, the letter, him leaving at the end, it was a very tragic and beautiful film, and the way I interpret it "loving". Thanks for making it Jazz Dog
david jerome
david jerome
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Michael_Petro
Veteran
Shot composition with the music where great. This film was wanting me to be sad it got close.. maybe instead of the coffee you could have showed some of the things that lead him to his decision....
Dahopafilms
Well-known member
I am absolutely blown away by this short.
First, the music. Incredible. I've never heard of this artist before, but now I'm going looking. A perfectly sad fit for this project.
Second - the cinematography. Very, very nice. And I understand that this was a one-man show, so who was camera op on it? A fine effort like that deserves a credit, man!
Third - the story. Very, very good, in my view. I like stories that make you think and don't give everything to you on a spoon. I thought at first he was going to commit suicide (screaming "NO!" in my head as I watched, so you had me), then when he walks out can't help but think he's irresponsibly running away. Then saw the look on the wife's face as he leaves - and maybe she was thinking she was better off without him. Open to interpretation. Love that!
On the critical side, only a couple of very minor points. The voice over. For some reason I just didn't like it. A few "p's" popping here and there, but I think it was more the delivery I didn't like. Not sure why. And the typing with the V/O. The typing lagged behind at one point and I was thinking to myslef ("Well, hurry up then - catch up"). Very minor points, but I left the story for a couple of brief instants as a result.
And what a beautiful scene with the goodbye to the baby and he/she lifts his/her leg. That's just plain magic (unless you had fishing wire tired to his/her ankle - in which case it's child abuse:laugh: ).
Very, very good job. I will show this one off to friends as an example of the best films in this fest.
Thanks very much!
First, the music. Incredible. I've never heard of this artist before, but now I'm going looking. A perfectly sad fit for this project.
Second - the cinematography. Very, very nice. And I understand that this was a one-man show, so who was camera op on it? A fine effort like that deserves a credit, man!
Third - the story. Very, very good, in my view. I like stories that make you think and don't give everything to you on a spoon. I thought at first he was going to commit suicide (screaming "NO!" in my head as I watched, so you had me), then when he walks out can't help but think he's irresponsibly running away. Then saw the look on the wife's face as he leaves - and maybe she was thinking she was better off without him. Open to interpretation. Love that!
On the critical side, only a couple of very minor points. The voice over. For some reason I just didn't like it. A few "p's" popping here and there, but I think it was more the delivery I didn't like. Not sure why. And the typing with the V/O. The typing lagged behind at one point and I was thinking to myslef ("Well, hurry up then - catch up"). Very minor points, but I left the story for a couple of brief instants as a result.
And what a beautiful scene with the goodbye to the baby and he/she lifts his/her leg. That's just plain magic (unless you had fishing wire tired to his/her ankle - in which case it's child abuse:laugh: ).
Very, very good job. I will show this one off to friends as an example of the best films in this fest.
Thanks very much!
dahopafilms - thanks a lot! it feels good to know some people were moved by my film.
The music is a friend of mine, unsigned, you will not be able to find it. He just gave me his cd and said use it as you like. You can find guys like this in Seattle everyday.
The camera was all me. You will notice every shot with me in it is a locked down shot except the teeth brushing scene where if you look close you can tell I am pushing a baby stroller with the camera in it on a tripod.
I hate that voice over too and I plan to re do it. Maybe time it better too.
My baby is a born star and her improv to lift her foot was all her...not scripted at all.
really appreciate your comments.
Greg
The music is a friend of mine, unsigned, you will not be able to find it. He just gave me his cd and said use it as you like. You can find guys like this in Seattle everyday.
The camera was all me. You will notice every shot with me in it is a locked down shot except the teeth brushing scene where if you look close you can tell I am pushing a baby stroller with the camera in it on a tripod.
I hate that voice over too and I plan to re do it. Maybe time it better too.
My baby is a born star and her improv to lift her foot was all her...not scripted at all.
really appreciate your comments.
Greg
Cynic821
Carbonite Member
17th review:
first , for me 10 hours for work (i dont magically appear in san jose from SF )
another that was far too long. FAR FAR too long, i cant imagine why it would take so long to tell this story. it felt it was reaching for 6 minutes then it gave up at it near the end.
but a cause could be a minute and 30 second intro. i was amazed when it kept going. this is a short. I understand establishing shots are sometimes neccessary, but it was getting old at 30 seconds for me. its time to move it along.
the music did not fit the short either. a decent song, then a utterly boring opening shot.
Voice over was pretty angry sounding. not too beleivable either. good shots of his life though while typing. leaving someone your credit cards isnt too much of a positive.
once hes done typing, more arbitrarily artsy filler shots, again imo, and over a minute to make it to the bedroom is far too long. and we are talking about myself, who has nothing to do all weekend, killing time myself, time set aside to review and watch these specifically.
basically we were told an ending at 2:44 and had to sit through 3 more minutes.
just far from entertaining, and another what looked like carbon copy demo reel in the making of what i see on many sites. demo reels not built by creativity of the person, but rather just the happenings of their surroundings. i need substance and story, and reason. this just lacked it all, i dont see what can be expected to be said for this movie ...
thats it.
maybe i should give a disclaimer before i get warned? ( i had to stop reviewing horrorfest because i wasnt being that positive, this is how i feel and i guess ill just post until im stopped again)
first , for me 10 hours for work (i dont magically appear in san jose from SF )
another that was far too long. FAR FAR too long, i cant imagine why it would take so long to tell this story. it felt it was reaching for 6 minutes then it gave up at it near the end.
but a cause could be a minute and 30 second intro. i was amazed when it kept going. this is a short. I understand establishing shots are sometimes neccessary, but it was getting old at 30 seconds for me. its time to move it along.
the music did not fit the short either. a decent song, then a utterly boring opening shot.
Voice over was pretty angry sounding. not too beleivable either. good shots of his life though while typing. leaving someone your credit cards isnt too much of a positive.
once hes done typing, more arbitrarily artsy filler shots, again imo, and over a minute to make it to the bedroom is far too long. and we are talking about myself, who has nothing to do all weekend, killing time myself, time set aside to review and watch these specifically.
basically we were told an ending at 2:44 and had to sit through 3 more minutes.
just far from entertaining, and another what looked like carbon copy demo reel in the making of what i see on many sites. demo reels not built by creativity of the person, but rather just the happenings of their surroundings. i need substance and story, and reason. this just lacked it all, i dont see what can be expected to be said for this movie ...
thats it.
maybe i should give a disclaimer before i get warned? ( i had to stop reviewing horrorfest because i wasnt being that positive, this is how i feel and i guess ill just post until im stopped again)
Mark Harris
Pain in the ass
Greg, I'm making my way around after seeing things over again.
I thought all of the filmmaking elements were well done. I loved the intro, though it was kind of long for a 6 min. short. I also wondered about the choice of shots. They were all great shots, but was there any thought into why those shots?
I guess what I wanted out of the story more was to know WHY this guy had to leave. At first I thought he was going to kill himself, and it was like that other movie I watched on here about the guy debating whether or not to kill himself: Man, this dude should live my life for a couple weeks and maybe he'll know how good he has it.
Minor quibble: If I had written that letter and then laid it on my sleeping wife, I would NOT stop to do the dishes. I would be terrified she would wake up, read it, and we would have to have this whole big thing in the kitchen. I would've done the dishes BEFORE leaving the letter...
Anyway, I know it's a super compressed timeframe, but basically I wanted to know more of the why.
I thought all of the filmmaking elements were well done. I loved the intro, though it was kind of long for a 6 min. short. I also wondered about the choice of shots. They were all great shots, but was there any thought into why those shots?
I guess what I wanted out of the story more was to know WHY this guy had to leave. At first I thought he was going to kill himself, and it was like that other movie I watched on here about the guy debating whether or not to kill himself: Man, this dude should live my life for a couple weeks and maybe he'll know how good he has it.
Minor quibble: If I had written that letter and then laid it on my sleeping wife, I would NOT stop to do the dishes. I would be terrified she would wake up, read it, and we would have to have this whole big thing in the kitchen. I would've done the dishes BEFORE leaving the letter...
Anyway, I know it's a super compressed timeframe, but basically I wanted to know more of the why.
Thanks for the review Mark.
The intro shots were simply shots that I thought were cool and also how a guy can just go through his daily routine even though he is about to make a major life decision. The kitchen shots were done in the middle of the night so I used the outdoor shots to establish the morning feel and also to have some camera movement.
The why question has come up the most so I am thinking of cutting a few flashbacks in to establish that and see how it comes out.
As far as the how good he has it comment, I have worked for, literally, the richest people in the world and they are not happy and I used to say to myself...just switch with me for a day and then see if you are still unhappy. I realized happiness or depression is within. Internal not external. You would think billions of dollars would make a guy happy but it does not. It has to be inside you and you have to make the choice. I have met families in Mexico who build there houses out of scraps and old billboards who are happy beyond words. I do video charity video work for families who have terminally ill children and they are happy. Anyway, that is my long explanation of how a guy with a house, wife, kid, etc. can be a wreck inside.
I did the clean up shots because i thought I needed a little time for the wife to wake up, read the letter, get up, and go down stairs just in time to find the guy outside.
Thanks for comments and katrina rocked. Got to get me one of those 35mm adaptors. Then will I be happy?
The intro shots were simply shots that I thought were cool and also how a guy can just go through his daily routine even though he is about to make a major life decision. The kitchen shots were done in the middle of the night so I used the outdoor shots to establish the morning feel and also to have some camera movement.
The why question has come up the most so I am thinking of cutting a few flashbacks in to establish that and see how it comes out.
As far as the how good he has it comment, I have worked for, literally, the richest people in the world and they are not happy and I used to say to myself...just switch with me for a day and then see if you are still unhappy. I realized happiness or depression is within. Internal not external. You would think billions of dollars would make a guy happy but it does not. It has to be inside you and you have to make the choice. I have met families in Mexico who build there houses out of scraps and old billboards who are happy beyond words. I do video charity video work for families who have terminally ill children and they are happy. Anyway, that is my long explanation of how a guy with a house, wife, kid, etc. can be a wreck inside.
I did the clean up shots because i thought I needed a little time for the wife to wake up, read the letter, get up, and go down stairs just in time to find the guy outside.
Thanks for comments and katrina rocked. Got to get me one of those 35mm adaptors. Then will I be happy?