The Broadcast- Dramafest Entry

I think the problem with this one was definately in the script. It is just not believable at all whatsoever that he'd kill his family. It felt forced, like the whole script was just there to give you a moment of a man covered in blood screaming out in agony. I thought Kimko's performance was good until that moment. That was a little overacted.

I think the premise was strong, but overall the short just didn't ring true in anyway. Have you guys seen the The Day After?
 
i was waiting for three shots, didn't like the idea that he'd kill his family and save himself :oS
then you hear him set the gun to kill himself when he hears that it was a 'malfunction'. I was waiting for the shot throughout the credits at the end, but it never came.
 
gabrielflorit said:
Great story so far, very compelling. Too dark , especially in the basement, can barely see their faces. Acting isn't spectacular, but not bad.

When she says go get the radio, that's not credible at all. One moment she's saying "What about you? come with us" the next moment she wants the radio? Doesn't make sense.

Don't like the music, it's very cliche. Doesn't say anything except "tension ahead..."

And it just doesn't make sense he'd kill his family before an explosion.

Overall I don't buy the premise of the film.
Click to expand...

Thank you for giving an honest opinion. I am confused. What do you mean: "When she says go get the radio, that's not credible at all."
 
DVX-Ben said:
I think the problem with this one was definately in the script. It is just not believable at all whatsoever that he'd kill his family. It felt forced, like the whole script was just there to give you a moment of a man covered in blood screaming out in agony. I thought Kimko's performance was good until that moment. That was a little overacted.

I think the premise was strong, but overall the short just didn't ring true in anyway. Have you guys seen the The Day After?
Click to expand...

Thank you for your opinion. This film festival is a good experience for the constructive criticism!
 
iSTy said:
i was waiting for three shots, didn't like the idea that he'd kill his family and save himself :oS
then you hear him set the gun to kill himself when he hears that it was a 'malfunction'. I was waiting for the shot throughout the credits at the end, but it never came.
Click to expand...

Honestly we were never trying to imply that he saved himself at all. I dont think anyone ever could save himself. The reason we left it with out the shot was because it left such a droning effect.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry for the Triple Posts
 
Kimko threw a lot of passion into that part. I really think the dude has real charisma.

I dug the concept and premise, but I didn’t think it really worked. I just didn’t buy into this guy choosing to that decision so quickly. And since that was the central part of the script…

I give you props for attempting a period piece (I think you’re the only drama that did that) and you had some good moments in it.

Obrigado

:beer:
 
well i watched it............i was in Charlotte N. Carolina with some of the dvx boys....uh what can i say? i wasn't going to say anything but after talking with Leo, what was the editting all about? you guys left out the part with her and i talking about offing themselves explaining why i would kill my family...... and why put all those credits in and leaving out parts of the story? wtf! it was chopped up and made the performance look stupid. there was a build up why i would be screaming.......who the @#$% edited this!? usaully when you edit something it makes the performance look better than it was....but somehow the editor made it worse! and jumping around from one scene to the other lost the momentum and looked like artsy crap! i know Leo got out voted to do the straight story what he envisioned so i'm not down on you, now you know why i don't do student films. oh man i'm sorry to blast but ....i just can't beleive this came out the way it did. i knew there were some foul ups on set, changing the script by the teacher who had no clue of the story....telling you to skip certain parts...umm maybe that's why he's teaching and not making films........
 
well what i wanted to convey with this character was, that he was a strick conventional ass when she was serving dinner (which someone shortened the scene) he didn't even give her a look never mind helping her. then when the kid wanted his tie off i begrudgingly took it off then folded it neatly, like i had done with the newspaper, trying to show the neat orderly way i was... having complete dominance over the family. but when the sh it hits the fan....i started to lose my self confidence....so i told the actress(Andy) to start taking control of the situation while you see my character gradually losing his persona. she ends up grabbing me by the face and tells me to get myself together and do what must be done without living with the agony of nuclear poisoning rotting our flesh away, she tells me to kill her and the son. i do it but i'm breaking down to a shell of a man.... well that's what i wanted to do for the story besides just a story about a computer malfunction. i wanted to see the woman with all the years of agonizing subserviants take control one last time whether it be shove it in his face or ending her lifetime of misery with him....well i guess the class of students didn't get that and cut out what led up to the killing spree.
 
OH BY THE WAY. DVXUSER guys thanks for the compliments on the acting but let's face it, it was terrible, that has got to be the worse peice of acting i've done! but like i said if it was edited correctly i thought it was going to be good. let it go let it go let it go.............................................................................
 
Funnily enough i actually enjoyed this (and kimko's posts lol!)

I concur with others that the shooting of the family happened too fast and without adequate foreshadowing in the short, however that has now been cleared up by Kimko to have been due to unfortunate editing.

Kimko, regardless of the end result, i was impressed by your acting in the final scene. You gave it enough without it being over the top, thats hard to do but you did a fine job, congratulations on that.

I guess this goes to show that its better to make a short specifically for the fest rather than shoehorning 2 projects into one, or to enter as a non-competition entry.

Anyway, in all seriousness i DID enjoy the short. kind regards
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top