Envision & RebeccaD Present "Where Silence Falls"
- Thread starter Norm Sanders
- Start date
REVIEW: WHERE SILENCE FALLS
A punch in the face. I went into this thinking I could beat it up, came out with a black eye and a refined view on "practice makes for the better.". Norm NEARLY brought the house down with this... but there's something off.
Lets get this off of the table, here. I honestly thought this was going to be a bad short movie. I was actually thinking this might've been at the bottom of the list, and I am not a fan of Norm's work.
I was wrong.
Whoever's your writer now, I think you need to keep them on your team, guy. I haven't seen SPARROW, the full version, but this kicked everything else I've ever seen from you right out of the window. That said, there were some serious focal issues that needed to be addressed before going into this. There was just TOO MUCH that you wanted to try to say here. The sex offense, the missing child, I didn't know which one to focus on by the end of the story and I ended up feeling CHEATED! I want to say that the ball was COMPLETELY DROPPED by the end of this. The Pay-off was pushy, bordering on forced. The twist wasn't set up early enough in the beginning to make me believe this sex-offender had ANYTHING to do with the missing boy, and thus ended up crippling your entire piece.
Now that's your choice, how you wanted it to move and where you wanted it to go. If you were going to go for this twist, why didn't you foreshadow and set it up earlier in the short to make it a tangible diversion to the truth? It just wasn't to me.
That said... I still liked it. I think the dialogue could've been brushed up, but what's funny is that Rebecca D's Dialogue was pretty good, man! Either she just delivered it well or it was there to be delivered. Pacing was NICE! Beats were all there.
YOU DROPPED THE BALL AGAIN THOUGH! Visually! You had Eric running house to house, yet not connecting him to those houses. There wasn't a single time when Eric spoke to another parent about his son. However, you managed to get it in there with Rebecca later on. How could you! I honestly feel like you need to have a shot of Eric talking to a parent during his adventure around the neighborhood. Something feels hollow without it.
By the by... NICE shots, dude. I don't think I had a single issue with anything outside of your 35mm adapter. It was so apparent, that I actually wanted to erase the dark areas in your footage.
Another technical diddy that took me out of it was the lack of foley. Boy, I can tell you that if I would've heard Eric CRUNCHING through the snow as he went out looking for his son, I would've been even more compelled to find out where his little boy went.
Did I mention that this is Rebecca D's strongest role yet? She almost nailed the entire thing until she had to cry and outburst. I'm no actor, but I almost feel like it detracted from her performance as the mother. Eric's line delivery was smudgy, and just wanting to crawl over the top. Though his actions spoke louder than his words. He could be solid if he got the right direction. He almost sounded too happy when he first set out to look for his son. That's just me though. Also, I think this line is wrong on so many levels. "I JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE A SEX OFFENDER! I'll DO WHAT I WANT!".... come on.
Title section was way off, man. It looked like marshmallow paste. Is there a better option? Something that matches the tone of the story?
I gotta say, the beginning of this was totally great. The phone conversation set me up nicely and I was like "uh oh... ". Then it just kinda rolled downhill.
I am not saying anything was a wrong decision, by the way, I just wonder why the decision was made to go this way?
Why, instead of having the male as the power character, did you not show us a character arc or change in the female lead? Why didn't she storm over there to throw hands with the sex offender? I would've loved that, to see her transform into a monster at the thought of her son being molested by the guy next door.
I think you had sooo much potential for this, and you had an ear and an eye for what needed to go where.
Norm... nice job, man. NICE JOB. I am very surprised.
A punch in the face. I went into this thinking I could beat it up, came out with a black eye and a refined view on "practice makes for the better.". Norm NEARLY brought the house down with this... but there's something off.
Lets get this off of the table, here. I honestly thought this was going to be a bad short movie. I was actually thinking this might've been at the bottom of the list, and I am not a fan of Norm's work.
I was wrong.
Whoever's your writer now, I think you need to keep them on your team, guy. I haven't seen SPARROW, the full version, but this kicked everything else I've ever seen from you right out of the window. That said, there were some serious focal issues that needed to be addressed before going into this. There was just TOO MUCH that you wanted to try to say here. The sex offense, the missing child, I didn't know which one to focus on by the end of the story and I ended up feeling CHEATED! I want to say that the ball was COMPLETELY DROPPED by the end of this. The Pay-off was pushy, bordering on forced. The twist wasn't set up early enough in the beginning to make me believe this sex-offender had ANYTHING to do with the missing boy, and thus ended up crippling your entire piece.
Now that's your choice, how you wanted it to move and where you wanted it to go. If you were going to go for this twist, why didn't you foreshadow and set it up earlier in the short to make it a tangible diversion to the truth? It just wasn't to me.
That said... I still liked it. I think the dialogue could've been brushed up, but what's funny is that Rebecca D's Dialogue was pretty good, man! Either she just delivered it well or it was there to be delivered. Pacing was NICE! Beats were all there.
YOU DROPPED THE BALL AGAIN THOUGH! Visually! You had Eric running house to house, yet not connecting him to those houses. There wasn't a single time when Eric spoke to another parent about his son. However, you managed to get it in there with Rebecca later on. How could you! I honestly feel like you need to have a shot of Eric talking to a parent during his adventure around the neighborhood. Something feels hollow without it.
By the by... NICE shots, dude. I don't think I had a single issue with anything outside of your 35mm adapter. It was so apparent, that I actually wanted to erase the dark areas in your footage.
Another technical diddy that took me out of it was the lack of foley. Boy, I can tell you that if I would've heard Eric CRUNCHING through the snow as he went out looking for his son, I would've been even more compelled to find out where his little boy went.
Did I mention that this is Rebecca D's strongest role yet? She almost nailed the entire thing until she had to cry and outburst. I'm no actor, but I almost feel like it detracted from her performance as the mother. Eric's line delivery was smudgy, and just wanting to crawl over the top. Though his actions spoke louder than his words. He could be solid if he got the right direction. He almost sounded too happy when he first set out to look for his son. That's just me though. Also, I think this line is wrong on so many levels. "I JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE A SEX OFFENDER! I'll DO WHAT I WANT!".... come on.
Title section was way off, man. It looked like marshmallow paste. Is there a better option? Something that matches the tone of the story?
I gotta say, the beginning of this was totally great. The phone conversation set me up nicely and I was like "uh oh... ". Then it just kinda rolled downhill.
I am not saying anything was a wrong decision, by the way, I just wonder why the decision was made to go this way?
Why, instead of having the male as the power character, did you not show us a character arc or change in the female lead? Why didn't she storm over there to throw hands with the sex offender? I would've loved that, to see her transform into a monster at the thought of her son being molested by the guy next door.
I think you had sooo much potential for this, and you had an ear and an eye for what needed to go where.
Norm... nice job, man. NICE JOB. I am very surprised.
Michael_Petro
Veteran
nice work there are some stand outs this fest and this is a standout!!!!!
Filmjunkie677
Master of Horror
Very solid entry here.
I was definitely "moved" by the story and most of the shots were very professional. Good acting from both of you, especially Rebecca, you have some serious talent.
Some of the things that bothered me - The dissolves when Norm is walking the neighborhood. They just didn't work for me.
I agree with a previous comment that we should have seen a picture of the kid or a sense of him in some way, shape or form.
And the final scene - You could have sold the punches much more effectively - It seemed like you werent punching anything.
All in all, good job!
I was definitely "moved" by the story and most of the shots were very professional. Good acting from both of you, especially Rebecca, you have some serious talent.
Some of the things that bothered me - The dissolves when Norm is walking the neighborhood. They just didn't work for me.
I agree with a previous comment that we should have seen a picture of the kid or a sense of him in some way, shape or form.
And the final scene - You could have sold the punches much more effectively - It seemed like you werent punching anything.
All in all, good job!
Filmjunkie677 said:
I'm back! But, only because I didn't read other reviews yet and this stuck out to me. I don't think you had to see the kid at ALL. I think not seeing the boy worked just fine.
he serves as a Mac/McGuffin in this, and it totally works on so many levels. Ask yourself if the story would've made any difference what-so-ever, as it stands, if you would've seen the boy?
Perhaps, if there had been a layer of foreshadow in the beginning that alluded to the faux solution, then yeah. Otherwise, there was no need to see the boy IMO. It wouldn't have changed a single thing.
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
Norm, you've always made decent films but nothing that was quite ready for primetime. That's all changed. This is stellar. You've turned the corner and if this is any indication of what Trinity River will be (not necessarily the story but the filmmaking process) put me on the list for the premiere. Great camera work. I absolutely loved the Steadicam tracking shot, pro. This is best I've seen you act and Rebecca...if we were awarding a best actress award, she'd own it. Justin did a remarkable job on the score. I think it's the best I've heard from him. It fit the story like a glove. Great story. I bought it all the way to the end. I thought it was a great ending. I was expecting that the boy would be found and that the neighbor was the wrong man but I was wondering how you were going to make him at all sympathetic, and then you did. I am a HUGE fan of this movie. Kudos to you and your entire team on giving us something spectacular to watch.
EDIT: I'm sorry, I also forgot to mention that Reid did an excellent job, too.
EDIT: I'm sorry, I also forgot to mention that Reid did an excellent job, too.
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Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Wow, TONS of feedback already, thanks folks! Without posting a ton of times myself in here, I'll try to reply as much as I can in this one post. Kholi, however gets his own post/reply, due to all of his questions he's throwing at me, lol.
Thanks Mark, much appreciated & glad you liked it. And yes, your muzzle flashes in SEMELE were GREAT. I though there could have been a LITTLE more flash in the bedroom scene when Rebecca's character is shot (in Ryan's SEMELE), but they were otherwise PERFECT. I even frame advanced through just so I could see your detail!
Thanks, Timur, but I'm actually just a soft little pussy-cat. Not even any bark in me ... or at least that's what I like to lead folks to believe.
You know, John, I've got to be totally honest with you. I know we've probably rubbed each other wrong in the past, and haven't always seen eye-to-eye, and publically I would tell anyone (if they asked) that I didn't give a rats behind what you thought of my work, blah, blah, blah ... but it would be a lie. Deep down, you've probably been the ONE guy on here that I would secretly hope to impress ... to finally get a real 'atta-boy' out of. So for me, I already feel a success in this fest. May sound corny (hopefully not ass-kissing, because I'm about as opposite as you can get from that), but true.
Thank you. I really value what you had to say ... speaking of which:
I couldn't agree more. In hindsight (and I told Rebecca this as well today, after reading your post), I wish we had really had her wander the kitchen/house more, and really worked the steadicam. Although realistically, this would have dramatically increased our set up time as we would had to have lit & dressed so much more space, not to mention the additional challenge of booming her with more movement, hoping not to hear the crew, because of the moving camera, lights & other things possibly getting in the shot, etc. But otherwise, yes ... it would have been good to explore the space more.
This was something we talked about initially, but with the time constraints it would have rushed other parts even more than they already were, so we just didn't feel the ROI (return on investment) for the amount of time it would have eaten up to realistically establish the child. Although a framed picture or something (next to a phone she pics up), would have been a nice touch, in hindsight.
One of the things we really liked about this story is that we didn't need a whole lot of backstory ... it's something that nearly anyone with a child can relate to (the fear of losing your child, jumping to assumptions about others, ESPECIALLY when you're stressed out, etc.), and even those who don't have a child still have that instinctive understanding of what the characters are going through. It was a story we felt could grip the audience quickly, and get a good beginning, middle, and end completed in under 6 minutes.
LOL! Thanks, Mark. I call it "Body By David", because it's due to Rebecca's husband, David, that I could at least be confident enough to even do that quick little scene. Prior to him, I was just a push-up guy ... which is still working out, but there's apparently a difference when you throw in heavier weights. And actually, I was more conditioning myself for Ryan's film, because I knew I could be running a LOT the morning we were shooting (depending on how many takes, etc.), so I was trying to get under a six minute mile, etc. so that I was coughing up my spleen on his set from being too out of shape. Our film was shot the weekend after his.
Oh, and thanks for the compliment on the work. It's only my best yet because of the people I had to work with on this one. A total pleasure, and one I look forward to repeating.
Mark Johnson said:Rebecca, Norm ...
Wonderful work here. Beautiful shots - and awesome steadicam stuff. Great acting and great craftsmanship. Really a standout entry and my congrats to both of you.
I think the only thing that could have improved this would be the addition of beautiful muzzle flashes such as those I saw in Ryan's film.
Thanks Mark, much appreciated & glad you liked it. And yes, your muzzle flashes in SEMELE were GREAT. I though there could have been a LITTLE more flash in the bedroom scene when Rebecca's character is shot (in Ryan's SEMELE), but they were otherwise PERFECT. I even frame advanced through just so I could see your detail!
TimurCivan said:
Thanks, Timur, but I'm actually just a soft little pussy-cat. Not even any bark in me ... or at least that's what I like to lead folks to believe.
John_Hudson said:
You know, John, I've got to be totally honest with you. I know we've probably rubbed each other wrong in the past, and haven't always seen eye-to-eye, and publically I would tell anyone (if they asked) that I didn't give a rats behind what you thought of my work, blah, blah, blah ... but it would be a lie. Deep down, you've probably been the ONE guy on here that I would secretly hope to impress ... to finally get a real 'atta-boy' out of. So for me, I already feel a success in this fest. May sound corny (hopefully not ass-kissing, because I'm about as opposite as you can get from that), but true.
Thank you. I really value what you had to say ... speaking of which:
John_Hudson said:
I couldn't agree more. In hindsight (and I told Rebecca this as well today, after reading your post), I wish we had really had her wander the kitchen/house more, and really worked the steadicam. Although realistically, this would have dramatically increased our set up time as we would had to have lit & dressed so much more space, not to mention the additional challenge of booming her with more movement, hoping not to hear the crew, because of the moving camera, lights & other things possibly getting in the shot, etc. But otherwise, yes ... it would have been good to explore the space more.
John_Hudson said:
This was something we talked about initially, but with the time constraints it would have rushed other parts even more than they already were, so we just didn't feel the ROI (return on investment) for the amount of time it would have eaten up to realistically establish the child. Although a framed picture or something (next to a phone she pics up), would have been a nice touch, in hindsight.
One of the things we really liked about this story is that we didn't need a whole lot of backstory ... it's something that nearly anyone with a child can relate to (the fear of losing your child, jumping to assumptions about others, ESPECIALLY when you're stressed out, etc.), and even those who don't have a child still have that instinctive understanding of what the characters are going through. It was a story we felt could grip the audience quickly, and get a good beginning, middle, and end completed in under 6 minutes.
Mark Harris said:
LOL! Thanks, Mark. I call it "Body By David", because it's due to Rebecca's husband, David, that I could at least be confident enough to even do that quick little scene. Prior to him, I was just a push-up guy ... which is still working out, but there's apparently a difference when you throw in heavier weights. And actually, I was more conditioning myself for Ryan's film, because I knew I could be running a LOT the morning we were shooting (depending on how many takes, etc.), so I was trying to get under a six minute mile, etc. so that I was coughing up my spleen on his set from being too out of shape. Our film was shot the weekend after his.
Oh, and thanks for the compliment on the work. It's only my best yet because of the people I had to work with on this one. A total pleasure, and one I look forward to repeating.
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Oops, I hit submit when I didn't mean to ...
Thanks, Brandon. Again, I'm not convinced we would have to see the kid, nor was there time unless we were to do it in a picture frame, etc. One thought that comes to mind at the moment is that for some people, it may be best that we didn't show a particular child, because it may allow them to more freely envision their own kid in that situation. I don't know, I could be pulling at straws with that one, lol.
As far as overdone acting, I'll agree ... I ain't the best. The others were great, however.
For the montage/cross fade with my character, this is certainly something that's been said more than once recently, so I'm convinced it needs to be addressed to a degree in the cast/crew (or other festival) cut. Thanks, I'll see what we can do to improve it.
Charli, appreciate the feedback & that you loved the acting & dialogue ... right up until the end. I'd have to agree that dialogue (specifically what Kholi mentions with my character confronting the neighbor) could have been done differently, but some of it could have been my delivery as well. We wrote this thinking of what we would actually say ourselves, if in the same situation ... and at the time of writing it, it felt real.
Dan (the DP) and Reid are really going to like hearing this, thanks Geoff! They both were awesome to work with & gave it their all.
Big 'ol thank you, Michael!
Thanks, Filmjunkie. But I WAS punching something ... the back of his hand ... well, kind of. I would QUICKLY open my hand so that my palm would smack the back of his hand for an onset SFX, and then try to close it again before I brought it back up into frame. I thought it would work because it would allow me to follow through & not have to pull the punches so much, in addition to giving a sound effect I could use. BUT ... in looking at it, I can see what you mean. I also wasn't sold on the sound, but when I tried some post SFX, none of them felt right to me, so the only one I added was that first hay maker punch, which I think sounded great.
Yeah, Rebecca's a phenomenal actress, I believe with untapped potential too. Stay away, everyone ... she's got a 25 year signed contract with Envision Entertainment, LLC. :grin: In fact, I should probably just get a copy right on her name to stake my rights to her acting talent, right? It could read like this:
"Rebecca L. Dunn" © 2007 Envision Entertaiment, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
(Hmmm, note to self ... get started on the paperwork for that)
K, back to topic. WOW, another comment about seeing the kid. You guys are really making me start to doubt myself, but thankfully I read ahead & saw Kholi's comment back about it. Whew! Thanks, Kholi.
My montage ... yep, needs to be addressed.
Blaine, I'm speachless. Thankyou! I totally & completely respect what everyone has had to say in here, and know that NO film will ever please everyone, but you always hope that there are some that are 100% on board with what you set out to do & get it all the way through. And we found you ... or you found the film, whatever. I'm beyond excited that you got it the way we intended!!
[takes a break for his Happy Dance]
Yes, Justin did a GREAT job with the score, and was a trooper & team player as we kept coming back to him with a revision here, a tweak there ... only because it can be so tough to convey what you want via phone/e-mail. Thank you Justin!
Dan's a wizard with that Steadicam, and also had some great ideas visually as well. As far as the tracking shot, I have to tell you all ... when I was going to the house I even picked it up a few steps here & there (like almost a slight run), and it was as if Dan could anticipate my moves & was LIGHTING FAST as he ran backwards with me, never really letting me get too close to the lens or I'd go out of focus.
Reid, and everyone did a great, great job & were a blast to have on set.
I also want to give an acknowledgement to Shawn Nelson on sound ... because the audio DID work well, once I was able to get to the Compact Flash files & get 'em sync'd up to the picture. Thanks, Shawn (and Jerry, Boom Operator), for recording good audio. :thumbsup:
Brandon Rice said:
Thanks, Brandon. Again, I'm not convinced we would have to see the kid, nor was there time unless we were to do it in a picture frame, etc. One thought that comes to mind at the moment is that for some people, it may be best that we didn't show a particular child, because it may allow them to more freely envision their own kid in that situation. I don't know, I could be pulling at straws with that one, lol.
As far as overdone acting, I'll agree ... I ain't the best. The others were great, however.
For the montage/cross fade with my character, this is certainly something that's been said more than once recently, so I'm convinced it needs to be addressed to a degree in the cast/crew (or other festival) cut. Thanks, I'll see what we can do to improve it.
Charli said:
Charli, appreciate the feedback & that you loved the acting & dialogue ... right up until the end. I'd have to agree that dialogue (specifically what Kholi mentions with my character confronting the neighbor) could have been done differently, but some of it could have been my delivery as well. We wrote this thinking of what we would actually say ourselves, if in the same situation ... and at the time of writing it, it felt real.
Geoff_R said:
Dan (the DP) and Reid are really going to like hearing this, thanks Geoff! They both were awesome to work with & gave it their all.
Michael_Petro said:
Big 'ol thank you, Michael!
Filmjunkie677 said:
Thanks, Filmjunkie.
But I WAS punching something ... the back of his hand ... well, kind of. I would QUICKLY open my hand so that my palm would smack the back of his hand for an onset SFX, and then try to close it again before I brought it back up into frame. I thought it would work because it would allow me to follow through & not have to pull the punches so much, in addition to giving a sound effect I could use. BUT ... in looking at it, I can see what you mean. I also wasn't sold on the sound, but when I tried some post SFX, none of them felt right to me, so the only one I added was that first hay maker punch, which I think sounded great.Yeah, Rebecca's a phenomenal actress, I believe with untapped potential too. Stay away, everyone ... she's got a 25 year signed contract with Envision Entertainment, LLC. :grin: In fact, I should probably just get a copy right on her name to stake my rights to her acting talent, right? It could read like this:
"Rebecca L. Dunn" © 2007 Envision Entertaiment, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
(Hmmm, note to self ... get started on the paperwork for that)
K, back to topic. WOW, another comment about seeing the kid. You guys are really making me start to doubt myself, but thankfully I read ahead & saw Kholi's comment back about it. Whew! Thanks, Kholi.
My montage ... yep, needs to be addressed.
Blaine said:
Blaine, I'm speachless. Thankyou! I totally & completely respect what everyone has had to say in here, and know that NO film will ever please everyone, but you always hope that there are some that are 100% on board with what you set out to do & get it all the way through. And we found you ... or you found the film, whatever. I'm beyond excited that you got it the way we intended!!
[takes a break for his Happy Dance]
Yes, Justin did a GREAT job with the score, and was a trooper & team player as we kept coming back to him with a revision here, a tweak there ... only because it can be so tough to convey what you want via phone/e-mail. Thank you Justin!
Dan's a wizard with that Steadicam, and also had some great ideas visually as well. As far as the tracking shot, I have to tell you all ... when I was going to the house I even picked it up a few steps here & there (like almost a slight run), and it was as if Dan could anticipate my moves & was LIGHTING FAST as he ran backwards with me, never really letting me get too close to the lens or I'd go out of focus.
Reid, and everyone did a great, great job & were a blast to have on set.
I also want to give an acknowledgement to Shawn Nelson on sound ... because the audio DID work well, once I was able to get to the Compact Flash files & get 'em sync'd up to the picture. Thanks, Shawn (and Jerry, Boom Operator), for recording good audio. :thumbsup:
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Kholi, first, as always, THANK YOU for your detailed reviews & thoughts. Always much appreciated, and I like your straight shooter approach ... I know there's no B.S. behind it.
LOL. The writing was all Rebecca & I. Thanks.
We really wanted to throw another element in here ... to give a reason of fear for the parents ... that they've lived next to this guy, have probably even had him over for BBQ's, etc. and never knew about this. Then to suddenly find out from there friend at the police department, at the very time that their son is no where to be found AND the fact that the dad found his son's ball in this guy's front yard ... well, rational people can make very unrational assumptions when faced with that level of stress & fear. At least that's the reasoning for all of that.
As far as foreshadowing, we REALLY didn't want to, and I'm still glad we didn't. If we had foreshadowed, then we would be thinking ahead vs. being in the moment with the parents as they look & are unaware of what they eventually find out. In addition to that, when Rebecca's character answers the phone & gets what we know is bad news ... I want the audience to think they've perhaps found their son, but not alive. Even if it's only for 30 seconds, I want that to be hanging on us, so that when she finally utters the words 'Bill is a registered sex offender', it's a mixed emotion of relief that their son isn't dead, but also confusion now as the story starts to turn a different direction.
Again, thanks ... it helps that we wrote it for our own characters, so we could write what felt natural to us.
Agreed. Something to address when we go back to the edit in about a week (after I get back from another week long trip to Miami).
Yep, I noticed that vignetting, but not until we were in post.
I can't handle it to a degree, but that was a little much to my taste. Someone asked what adapter we used ... it was the RedRock Micro M2, with Cannon lenses. In hindsight, perhaps we should have zoomed in further to the ground glass, though that would have restricted our field of view as well.
I'm not as concerned about this one (though I'll see if I've got some stuff on file I can use - though he never really walks through any snow I can think of), as the music is more of the character in this part than the sound ... or at least that's the intention.
I'm laughing about what you thought of Eric's line "I'll do what I want!". Yeah, looking back I wonder if we could have worded it differently ... I'm sure there's several ways we could have ... but I'm also my own worst critic, and don't like the way I bob my head when I say that line either, lol.
As for Rebecca's performance, yep, she was awesome. And this role/short gave her a lot more to work with as well. Being a mother herself, and having her own son go mising for a short stint (while camping), also gave her some real background to draw from.
As for the crying, however, this would be the one thing I'd have to disagree with 100%. When we started that 4th take, she had been holding it back some before then. I encouraged her to just dig into it & let it go like we had rehearsed. As camera started to roll, I could see a tear fall down her cheek, and I KNEW it was going to be a great performance, and it was. I wouldn't have her do it any other way, and think the crying really helps to sell what she as a mother wouldn't know what to do with until her husband got home & finally got to tell him.
True, she could have gone over there & freaked out on the guy, but she had no proof that her son was there ... just an 'BTW, did you know ...." from her friend at the police department. She needed her husband to talk to about it, but while he was still out she had nothing to do but to think about what could be happening ... just next door ... but what to do? So when he gets home, she just can't hold it in anymore. I think the crying is natural ... I know my wife would be a complete mess in the same situation.
LOL. I like the titling, but am open to a poll ... if more people think it stinks, I'll gladly change it. No worries there.
Again, thanks Kholi, much appreciated!
Kholi said:
LOL. The writing was all Rebecca & I.
Thanks.Kholi said:
We really wanted to throw another element in here ... to give a reason of fear for the parents ... that they've lived next to this guy, have probably even had him over for BBQ's, etc. and never knew about this. Then to suddenly find out from there friend at the police department, at the very time that their son is no where to be found AND the fact that the dad found his son's ball in this guy's front yard ... well, rational people can make very unrational assumptions when faced with that level of stress & fear. At least that's the reasoning for all of that.
As far as foreshadowing, we REALLY didn't want to, and I'm still glad we didn't. If we had foreshadowed, then we would be thinking ahead vs. being in the moment with the parents as they look & are unaware of what they eventually find out. In addition to that, when Rebecca's character answers the phone & gets what we know is bad news ... I want the audience to think they've perhaps found their son, but not alive. Even if it's only for 30 seconds, I want that to be hanging on us, so that when she finally utters the words 'Bill is a registered sex offender', it's a mixed emotion of relief that their son isn't dead, but also confusion now as the story starts to turn a different direction.
Kholi said:
Again, thanks ... it helps that we wrote it for our own characters, so we could write what felt natural to us.
Kholi said:
Agreed. Something to address when we go back to the edit in about a week (after I get back from another week long trip to Miami).
Kholi said:
Yep, I noticed that vignetting, but not until we were in post.
I can't handle it to a degree, but that was a little much to my taste. Someone asked what adapter we used ... it was the RedRock Micro M2, with Cannon lenses. In hindsight, perhaps we should have zoomed in further to the ground glass, though that would have restricted our field of view as well.Kholi said:
I'm not as concerned about this one (though I'll see if I've got some stuff on file I can use - though he never really walks through any snow I can think of), as the music is more of the character in this part than the sound ... or at least that's the intention.
Kholi said:
I'm laughing about what you thought of Eric's line "I'll do what I want!". Yeah, looking back I wonder if we could have worded it differently ... I'm sure there's several ways we could have ... but I'm also my own worst critic, and don't like the way I bob my head when I say that line either, lol.
As for Rebecca's performance, yep, she was awesome. And this role/short gave her a lot more to work with as well. Being a mother herself, and having her own son go mising for a short stint (while camping), also gave her some real background to draw from.
As for the crying, however, this would be the one thing I'd have to disagree with 100%. When we started that 4th take, she had been holding it back some before then. I encouraged her to just dig into it & let it go like we had rehearsed. As camera started to roll, I could see a tear fall down her cheek, and I KNEW it was going to be a great performance, and it was. I wouldn't have her do it any other way, and think the crying really helps to sell what she as a mother wouldn't know what to do with until her husband got home & finally got to tell him.
True, she could have gone over there & freaked out on the guy, but she had no proof that her son was there ... just an 'BTW, did you know ...." from her friend at the police department. She needed her husband to talk to about it, but while he was still out she had nothing to do but to think about what could be happening ... just next door ... but what to do? So when he gets home, she just can't hold it in anymore. I think the crying is natural ... I know my wife would be a complete mess in the same situation.
Kholi said:
LOL. I like the titling, but am open to a poll ... if more people think it stinks, I'll gladly change it. No worries there.
Kholi said:
Again, thanks Kholi, much appreciated!
Alright dude! Thanks for taking the time to answer the questions. THis is your project, nothing was done wrong by any means. I just had a few questions on the motivation for certain paths.
On a final note: I honestly believe that if I would've seen buddy buddy grill-chat with the neighbor in the beginning, between Eric and the neighbor, I would've been willing to believe the ending as it sits. And don't take much offense to the drop-the-ball comment. I could really see the potential in visible character arcs and transformation here within the mother figure.
Otherwise, I just can't say much else! I liked it!
On a final note: I honestly believe that if I would've seen buddy buddy grill-chat with the neighbor in the beginning, between Eric and the neighbor, I would've been willing to believe the ending as it sits. And don't take much offense to the drop-the-ball comment. I could really see the potential in visible character arcs and transformation here within the mother figure.
Otherwise, I just can't say much else! I liked it!
One of the most polished entries, although some scenes looked dark on my computer (effin’ macs!). Very good pacing, editing to match. Rebecca’s acting was superlative.
Directing was pretty traditional in shot selection, framing etc… but it fit the story nicely, letting the dramatics of the story speak for themselves. Nice colours and cinematography. Kudos to whoever matched the phone to the sweater.
Story and script structure was a treat. In fact, I only had a couple points that made me go hmm. Would parents really wait two hours without reporting their kid being missing ? Wouldn’t Rebecca be in constant contact with Norm on the cell phone ? For example, “have you found him yet!, have you found him” !? And why would the fact they’re living next to a sex offender have not surfaced before now ? Surely, the days of Victorian privacy are long gone thence. Wouldn’t that juicy gossip and potentially dangerous bit of information have been disseminated amongst the Moms/women toot da sweet ?
The premise for the flick was one of the best I’ve seen and the writing was well structured (if a little flat dialogue-wise). This flick was a thoroughly enjoyable dramatic ride. But, honestly, the real reason the flick wasn’t as good as it could have been was Norm’s acting. I think you’re a great guy Norm, and have improved as a director, but dude, step away from the script. There was no modulation in the performance. While Rebecca was on a slow boil, you seemed high on weed (except for the last punch out).
The better news is you’re getting better at production and directing and are in my top three films for sure (watched ½ so far).
Most impressive is how you crafted a taut drama within the six minute time limit. Methinks that “Sparrow” taught you a very good lesson. Good surprises all around, and although I thought your praise of Rebecca was pure showmanship, she lived up to it, if not surpassing it. Lucky find there Norm. Thanks for making the flick, and this bodes well for Trinity River, fo’ sure.
:beer: :beer: :beer:
Directing was pretty traditional in shot selection, framing etc… but it fit the story nicely, letting the dramatics of the story speak for themselves. Nice colours and cinematography. Kudos to whoever matched the phone to the sweater.
Story and script structure was a treat. In fact, I only had a couple points that made me go hmm. Would parents really wait two hours without reporting their kid being missing ? Wouldn’t Rebecca be in constant contact with Norm on the cell phone ? For example, “have you found him yet!, have you found him” !? And why would the fact they’re living next to a sex offender have not surfaced before now ? Surely, the days of Victorian privacy are long gone thence. Wouldn’t that juicy gossip and potentially dangerous bit of information have been disseminated amongst the Moms/women toot da sweet ?
The premise for the flick was one of the best I’ve seen and the writing was well structured (if a little flat dialogue-wise). This flick was a thoroughly enjoyable dramatic ride. But, honestly, the real reason the flick wasn’t as good as it could have been was Norm’s acting. I think you’re a great guy Norm, and have improved as a director, but dude, step away from the script. There was no modulation in the performance. While Rebecca was on a slow boil, you seemed high on weed (except for the last punch out).
The better news is you’re getting better at production and directing and are in my top three films for sure (watched ½ so far).
Most impressive is how you crafted a taut drama within the six minute time limit. Methinks that “Sparrow” taught you a very good lesson. Good surprises all around, and although I thought your praise of Rebecca was pure showmanship, she lived up to it, if not surpassing it. Lucky find there Norm. Thanks for making the flick, and this bodes well for Trinity River, fo’ sure.
:beer: :beer: :beer:
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Slimothy
Veteran
Norm,
From the beginning this one just seemed like a major motion picture. The camera work, acting, locations just seemed real to me. I wasn't super crazy about the story, but I still had a great time watching it. Definately in my top 5 of the fest. Probably even top 3.
Great job guys.
From the beginning this one just seemed like a major motion picture. The camera work, acting, locations just seemed real to me. I wasn't super crazy about the story, but I still had a great time watching it. Definately in my top 5 of the fest. Probably even top 3.
Great job guys.
congrats, your biggest stride yet, on all levels I think.
Really nice work!
All the camera movement was not only slick but seemed to be in service of the story - all moves had a real purpose and achieved it in other words.
The jump cuts of Rebecca were particularly effective in telling that part of the story I thought.
While acting was really good on both parts. I really liked Rebecca a lot.
I feel about your acting and filmmaking both, that there is a level of carefullness that gets in your way a tad. Trying to get it "right" vs. just singing your effin heart out. Does this makes sense? I hope that doesn't sound too negative; it shouldn't. I feel like it is an advanced note for a black belt on the verge of becoming a master and I hope that is how it is taken. Now that you are on the verge of mastering the craft I feel like that may be the "pebble in the master's hand" for you to snatch - knowing that you have the stuff and know how to tell the story and just going for it with a few more rough edges.
I hate you for being the same age as me and pulling off a tight ribbed sweater like that. Bastid.
Really nice work!
All the camera movement was not only slick but seemed to be in service of the story - all moves had a real purpose and achieved it in other words.
The jump cuts of Rebecca were particularly effective in telling that part of the story I thought.
While acting was really good on both parts. I really liked Rebecca a lot.
I feel about your acting and filmmaking both, that there is a level of carefullness that gets in your way a tad. Trying to get it "right" vs. just singing your effin heart out. Does this makes sense? I hope that doesn't sound too negative; it shouldn't. I feel like it is an advanced note for a black belt on the verge of becoming a master and I hope that is how it is taken. Now that you are on the verge of mastering the craft I feel like that may be the "pebble in the master's hand" for you to snatch - knowing that you have the stuff and know how to tell the story and just going for it with a few more rough edges.
I hate you for being the same age as me and pulling off a tight ribbed sweater like that. Bastid.
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Hi norm. Still have a few to go, but you are at No1 right now.
Why: female lead was great! Edit was great ! (didnt totally dig the vignette - I assume grbage matte) Cinematography was great! Story was solid. Loved the premise.
Didnt feel the "he has been gone two hours", at that point I felt so what? I never got a feeling for the kids age at that point. But I really felt for the guy you smashed, but the punching shot was the weakest IMO.
My feeling keep directing, stop acting - it may be testament to your female lead and the falsely accused.
Why: female lead was great! Edit was great ! (didnt totally dig the vignette - I assume grbage matte) Cinematography was great! Story was solid. Loved the premise.
Didnt feel the "he has been gone two hours", at that point I felt so what? I never got a feeling for the kids age at that point. But I really felt for the guy you smashed, but the punching shot was the weakest IMO.
My feeling keep directing, stop acting - it may be testament to your female lead and the falsely accused.
Rebecca, great job. I was really impressed. Norm's character tried to maintain his sense of composure which really worked for the character. When you lost it though in panic I really believed you. Great work.
About the film in general,
What I liked about the film was the lack of information that they had before they decided to act. We didn't see any shots of Bill before the end scene and we didn't see any shots of the son; there is a general lack of information in this movie. I think that absence really enforced the blind fear that went into their panic in their search and unreasoned rage that went into Eric's attack on Bill. I feel that a little more panic and growth of the characters could have been built up along with some more exposition about who their kid is, but I really liked the film a lot. It suprised me with a blunt execution that I found really effective.
I think it would be very interesting to see these kind of blind themes explored in a larger movie
About the film in general,
What I liked about the film was the lack of information that they had before they decided to act. We didn't see any shots of Bill before the end scene and we didn't see any shots of the son; there is a general lack of information in this movie. I think that absence really enforced the blind fear that went into their panic in their search and unreasoned rage that went into Eric's attack on Bill. I feel that a little more panic and growth of the characters could have been built up along with some more exposition about who their kid is, but I really liked the film a lot. It suprised me with a blunt execution that I found really effective.
I think it would be very interesting to see these kind of blind themes explored in a larger movie
mobiledeli
Well-known member
ive been away for this week but ive had a chance to log on, make a few posts, and view a few films. this one i just viewed. at first i was hooked, the woman on the phone, really well done.but then eric started speaking and his acting took me out of it. when he comes in the house and shes there crying, i couldnt stand his lines.
finally the ending, when he leaves the house and the phone rings, immediately i knew: jakes fine. dont go over there.
but strong acting from the woman. very strong.
other than the things that i just mentioned.. and the 35mm adapter ruining the beauty of the shots, i liked it
finally the ending, when he leaves the house and the phone rings, immediately i knew: jakes fine. dont go over there.
but strong acting from the woman. very strong.
other than the things that i just mentioned.. and the 35mm adapter ruining the beauty of the shots, i liked it
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Envision said:
Norm, my friend, I didn't want to single anyone out, but your performance was the one I had the trouble with... As you put, 'the others were great' I would agree. Rebecca was awesome, in fact, I was so impressed I sent my film partner Daniel the film to see her performance. :thumbsup:
Raw and Vital
Active member
Just woke up and this is the first one I watched. Even though I was tired I was glued to the screen. Very nice job with the overall story. I liked it. The little twist was good too. The characters were colorful and had life to them. Locations were great as well. Had the homey, neighborhood feel to it.
Only thing that bugged me and I dunno if it was intentional or if it was by accident.
When Amy makes the call she says "Hi, Linday it's Amy" then when her husband comes down stairs she is hanging up on the phone and says "That'd be great, thanks Vicki".
Other than that minor thing, I liked it a lot. Good work.
Only thing that bugged me and I dunno if it was intentional or if it was by accident.
When Amy makes the call she says "Hi, Linday it's Amy" then when her husband comes down stairs she is hanging up on the phone and says "That'd be great, thanks Vicki".
Other than that minor thing, I liked it a lot. Good work.