Your loving husband a film by Greg Johnson

J

Jazz Dog

Well-known member
Walk Away Films presents Your loving husband
A short film by Greg Johnson

Sometimes in life a man just needs to walk away. A point has been reached inside of him and there is no choice but to simply just leave....


Please enjoy my simple film and, as always, feedback and critique are always welcome.

Thanks for watching,
Greg
 
Ya, I always wait because I have no graphic skills to make cool posters and banners so I like to get in while the fire is hot to a least try and get noticed. Plus I had another film thread that never got past the script stage...
 
Mark Harris said:
damn, soooo many last day threads popping up! They're really coming out of the woodwork on this one!
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Tell me about it. What is that 4 or 5 now?

Welcome Jazz Dog! I remember your film from Horrorfest. You had a very interesting and complex story, if I remember correctly.

Good luck to you!

-Ted
 
oh yeah, were you the one with the guy's wife who gets revenge for him letting the baby die??? Was that you??/
 
Cool. Is this a "he went to get a pack of cigarettes and just kept walking" kind of story or a "the ***** pushed my button one too many times" kind of story?
 
Thanks Ted. My horrorfest entry was a bit over my head so I decided to go with my more simple subtle style that I have come to love.

Mark - it is more the former. I am sure every married guy out there has the fantasy from time to time of just walk away and start over but is it acted upon? That is the question.
 
Oh, and yes my baby died in my horrorfest entry called Consequence. In real life though she is alive and well doing great at 8 months now....
 
Good for you! I learned a lot from horrorfest.... I tried to implement those lessons in dramafest. We'll see!!!
 
Looking forward to a new story by the "JazzDog".
Interesting Title ... "Your Loving Husband"

- What am I doing in the 9 Hours ... editing and reading dvxuser!
 
My impressions of YOUR LOVING HUSBAND:

the whole piece was thoughtfully executed. now this isn't somehting i always need, but in this case, i really wanted a context for why he was leaving. without it, the film just couldn't engage me emotionally.
 
Have no idea why he left. So, I ended up feeling sad that there's another baby that's going to grow up without his father.

Also, the entire 1:40 seconds of intro really put me off. S'just me, though.
 
Thanks for the quick comments so far. I tried to portray that he is leaving because he hates himself. He has internally hit a wall and feels it is better for everyone if he is gone. I have known people like this. They seem normal on the outside. (Like getting ready for the day slowly, brushing teeth etc.) but on the inside they are ready to explode.
I really liked all the coffee making shots and such so i just couldn't cut any of it. I feel the same though. I hate when a short film is 1/3 title sequence but I felt it worked alright in this one...like a 3 act play...
Looking forward to everyones comments.
Thanks!
 
Some comments on the music end...While the song is appropriate, it doesn't really underscore what is happening on-screen. E.g. movement in music against still images without any direct tension (or the exact opposite), and the song simply fading out when the voiceover starts. When the song comes back after the voiceover, it starts to become Muzak for me until the end of the film. Music could have played an important role in telling this story, but instead I feel this was sort of an easy way out.
 
intro scene looks like a music video... good composition on the initial making coffee shots.

his VO sounds very fake, poor delivery. no emotion or nuances to his voice.

the explaining-my-decision-at-the-computer scene doesn't ring true. he's a "loving husband" but decides to leave his family? doesn't seem too loving to me.

alright camera work, story makes no sense, especially cause she stands there when he leaves, she doesn't say a word. "my husband is leaving me, i guess i'll stand here and hold the baby and not look upset".
 
he doesn't like himself and feels that he is being loving by doing what he thinks is best for his family.
the wife stands there by the door holding baby, because she knows it is his decision, what is the point in trying to change it?
He's depressed, people who are depressed can only see their own reasonings.
 
Boom! That is exactly what I had in mind iSTy. Tough to portray subtleties with my meager film making skills but I love films like that so I will keep working on it.
Thanks.
 
This movie looks good.

I think you have a good sense for pace for moving a story forward. My only concern is that it felt lack of sub-plot.

You have a movie here... you obviously can make something look and flow smooth. Is the writing the weak point.

The intelligence of using his phase to display his "suffering" through his eyes (which you did) tell more than the close ups of unnecessary details such as the coffee... It would help to see more that.

I don't think a wife who really loves her husband and has such a young babe, will just stand there without any explanation and let him go. Perhaps more background story about his torment would have explained her accepting him leave.

I guess I don't understand why if he loves her and his daughter so much, why is he trying to snatch himself away from them. I did not think it was a decision of love, although he left them with everything. I guess its probably because he looked to clean and neat even in the process of making the coffee for me to see him depressed... rather, coward? perhaps.
 
RomanJaquez said:
This movie looks good.


I don't think a wife who really loves her husband and has such a young babe, will just stand there without any explanation and let him go. Perhaps more background story about his torment would have explained her accepting him leave.

I guess I don't understand why if he loves her and his daughter so much, why is he trying to snatch himself away from them. I did not think it was a decision of love, although he left them with everything. I guess its probably because he looked to clean and neat even in the process of making the coffee for me to see him depressed... rather, coward? perhaps.
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I agree. This was a good film, but I would have liked to see a more disheveled look in the actor. People that are that depressed to feel that their family would be better off without them do not care about their appearance.

I disagree that the wife needed to run after him or try to stop him. It is extremely challenging to live with someone in that deep of a depression. She was probably pretty emotionally drained.

Overall, nicely done! This is one of the better ones in the fest IMO.
 
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