Across the rails - New Short Film directly from Costa Rica

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fede:lang

Active member
Hi, i just wanted you to check out my new short film. Its a DVX-100AE + Redrock M2 + Canon FD lenses. It was a final for a course at my film school.

Its 4 min and about 27 MBs on QT H264.

Why don't you check it out?

http://www.carambafilms.com/across.mov

I want to present it to a film festival here so any comments are welcome.

hope you like it

-Fede Lang
 
I actually really enjoyed this. It's a small short film, simple, but to the point. Anyone can relate to it.

No real problems with it. Well shot, nice music.

Only tiny little bit of criticism is the slightly akward lingering at the end of the film.
 
Nice story, effective shots, perfect music. My only criticism is that the focus seemed a little soft at times. For instance, at 2:12 it looks as though her sleeve cuff at the bottom of the frame is in better focus than her scarf. That's really a quibble, though.
 
... Is the short film so bad that no one posts about it....???

Please I need you to wreck it before I send it to the festival, deadline is Feb 9th... please have no mercy
 
fede:lang said:
... Is the short film so bad that no one posts about it....???

Please I need you to wreck it before I send it to the festival, deadline is Feb 9th... please have no mercy
Click to expand...

Have no mercy? Well I'm usually one that likes to tell the honest, even brutal truth of a film to someone. I feel it's better and nicer to be brutally honest, than lie to them and tell them it sucks.

I really found no problem with yours though. What I love about it is the simplicity of the film. An artist in love with a girl at a trainstop. It's warm and heatfelt. Great music.

The only problem is the lingering at the end. I just keep thinking "she asked you for a pencil, why are you just staring at her?", lol, but it's not big issue. Also I'm really not a fan of juxtaposed images, but it seemed to work fine when he was drawing.

But really, you should be proud of it.
 
fede:lang said:
... Is the short film so bad that no one posts about it....???
Click to expand...

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm always honest, even if it's brutal. I know I'd rather people be honest with my work rather than say "wow good job".

So when I say I really liked it and have nothing to critiscise, means that it's very good. :) At least IMO.

I can't find anything to criticise.
 
Thanxs!! I actually am really proud, but I know I could get a lot better so please keep posting!!

Thanks everyone
 
Just some good news.

Yesterday, a National Price was obtained by "Across the Rails" on Production Design here in Costa Rica.

I thank you guys very much for all the support you gave me on this forum!!

Really thanks a lot

-Fede Lang
 
my costa rican friend - sent it! sent it to the festivals! it's a nice piece, be proud it doesn't really matter what people here think (or don't think) do a search of iraq in fragments on this site and you'll see how when he first posted the trailer no one wrote anything at the begining... so be proud and go forward u have good work here...
 
Thanks a lot man! If you know of any festival for latin american people or for young people, please let me know!! (I'm only 20) It really makes me happy to know that you like it!!
 
I'm working now on my next short film.. still on script writing.. but soon :D. Keep posting about this one... make it look bad, I NEED HARD CRITICS!! :D :D
 
Looks nice.
However on an emotional/Narrative level it was a little weak.

You know she is going to come along at the end and when she does it doesn't do anything for the story.

You need to think more about your story.

If she just comes over at the end then at least have her do something unexpected. Tear the drawing out of his hand and rip it up, calling him a pervert.

Or let her disappear with the train and cut to 20 years later with a lonely man looking at the picture of the one person he loved and who he never met again.

Or maybe he takes her home where there are 30 pictures of young women and 30 suspicious bell jars.

I'm exaggerating of course These are all extremes you could go with and there is a world of subtlety in between these and what you have got.

Again it does look good. And obviously it's too late to consider the script. I only say this because there is promise here and it would be a shame to capture better and better images but not have an effective story to hang them on.

Good luck and I'm looking forward to what you do next.
 
fede, the movie is real awsome except for the end which is unclear.
Everybody here has mentioned that and you replied nothing about it.
What happens in the end?
 
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