My First Fight Scene with the DVX

Not bad at all. The problem that stood out to me the most was the inconsistent lighting. When the guy in the blue sweatshirt turned back toward the house, he had the exact same spot lighting as when he was facing the other guy. Then when he returned to face him, he had core lighting. It was pretty noticeable and took me out of the film.

The only major edit issue I saw was when the victor walked off into the darkness, and you cut into the reverse, the distance he covered in the reverse reads wrong. It's like he should have been further from the car in the reverse, especially given how much light is on the car in that shot. My guess is you let that walk into darkness go longer to avoid a "pop" on the reverse because you're crossing the 180 degree line, yes? Again, pretty noticeable and took me out of the film.

The camera work was pretty good over all. As for the jarring moments during the beating, some of the push in and out camera movement felt a little forced, but over all it worked. A tighter edit on the fight to remove those "forced" moments would improve it.

Those are my "improve it next time" thoughts. Hope it was helpful.
 
I liked the lighting and the cuts, especially some of the smoking scenes - the huge flame on the lighter was a bit much. One thing I didn't like was how the audio didn't match up. I'm assuming you shot all of one character's dialogue, then the other. You shot outside, and I know how hard it is containing random noise. You could've done some EQ work in post to help balance out the audio. What kind of mic did you use?

I would've like to have known more of the story about the sister and what made the guys start fighting.
 
I agree. What kind of sounds do you think would help the punches look more realistic? Again, I'm just starting to work with fight scenes so I'm still experimenting.
 
actually the thing that stood out to me was the punch sounds, they didn't sound cheesy or fake like celery getting hit with a broomstick.
 
Theguyincorner said:
actually the thing that stood out to me was the punch sounds, they didn't sound cheesy or fake like celery getting hit with a broomstick.
Click to expand...

Agreed. About the only thing I DID like about this was the punching sound effect.

Improvements? first, the dude didn't even look like he smoked - - actually, he looked like he's never picked up a cigarette before. Lighting was awful... do it during the day if you don't have correct lights. Sound (as mentioned above) was no good, and very inconsistent (onboard mic, I assume).

If you were JUST going for the fight scene, then it wasn't too bad. But... when you have a little background story, that make's me think that you were going for more than just the fight scene. Hense the advice on audio and lights. Practice a fight during the day without any story (over and over), and when you master it, THEN try it in an actual scene.

-brown
 
I think it was kinda bad. I'm not trying to knock you or anything it was a good try but the lighting didn't feel dramatic. I think the acting was forced also. I also don't know if I would call this a fight scene the other guy just got the crapped kicked out of him. the blood was a little too red also. Plus seeing as how he was on the ground i'm not sure if the blood would have ran straight down his face over both of his lips. It should have went to either the left or right side of his face. Keep at :-)
 
The guy didn't look like he was a smoker. Lighting was inconsistent. The punches didn't read. You have to break the plane between the camera lens and the person taking the punch. I never saw that even once. The punches sounded kind of tinny.
Look at a couple of fights from movies on screen, break them down, slow mo or even frame by frame. The punches don't have to be close to the face but just break the plane. Also the fight is going to be only as good as the worst person in the fight. Reactions are as important as the punches.
One of the best fights ever was in a movie called "Ladyhawke" with Rutger Hauer. It takes place in a fishing shop. Another is from Passenger 57 that takes place in the cargo hold of a DC10.
 
That was done so long ago, I don't even remember it and I worked on it. I was just pointing out two good fight scenes from movies that came to mind. They probably would be very hard to find at this time.
Black Rain has a couple and also a great shot of a Stainless steel truck coming to hit Michael Douglas. Long lens, Ridley Scott.
 
Ricpolitics said:
I agree. What kind of sounds do you think would help the punches look more realistic? Again, I'm just starting to work with fight scenes so I'm still experimenting.
Click to expand...
They need to be eq'd to bring out more low end. They sound like pretty realistic punches to me, but not for the amount of damage the guy is doing. I also think they sound a little far away from the action at points, and it would be nice if the perspective changed a little more from shot to shot.

The sounds you have would be fine if the fight were being portrayed from a wide-shot or something, like somebody was watching the fight from a detached perspective such as the front stoop of the house, but you clearly want the fight to seem brutal, and as it is, the sound is not brutal.
 
Ricpolitics said:
What exactly do you mean by "breaking the plane"?
Click to expand...

A camera is two dimensional or sees things two dimensionally as opposed to your eyes which see things 3 dimensionally. This means you can tell distance but your camera can't. If you are going to do a fight, you must "break the plane" between the camera lens and the subjects face. Or if the subject is between the punch and the camera, the punch must travel through the plane of the actors jaw or whatever you are punching. If it doesn't it won't look like a hit. If, for example, the camera is looking down at an angle on the fight, If the guy or girl taking the punch is between the camera and the subject punching, the fist or whatever is being used to strike the actor must travel lower than the jaw line in order to sell. If the "puncher" is between the camera and the actor taking the punch, the punch or object must be higher than the jaw. thus "breaking the plane".
On the same note, because the camera can't tell distances between the actors, the punches do not need to be closer than about 6-8 inches from the actors face. However, that being said, a stomach punch should always make light contact with the subject in order to help the subject "sell" the punch.
Again,
the fight is only going to be as good as the worst fighter in the fight. So if one person is real good and the other is real bad, your fight will be mediocre at best. Also both people have to react and show impact, whether taking or giving the punch. EYE contact is a golden rule, but without egg on your face.
I hope this helps.
 
The "fight" was too quick and confusing. It was hard to tell what was going on and it seemed like you enlarged the shots to get closer to the action. I also found the inconsistencies in lighting to be a bit distracting. I agree with the comments made about the blood, they look too red to be real. The audio could have been better, especially the last stomp, and maybe some background music to get the mood going?

The acting was decent. When I first watched it, the smoker seemed believable, but when I watched it again, I realized he exaggerates when he blows the smoke out. He also looked fake when he was lighting up, and he switches hands holding the cigarette.

I noticed that you did a fade at around 2:15 as Gil walks away after beating Roy up. Why did you fade instead of cutting? Not that it's a big deal, just curious.

Man, I felt sorry for Roy.

-KiN
 
I'm not going to talk about what you shot. I want to tell everyone that submits a high action clip (like a fight scene), to NOT put it on Youtube. The compression is awfull. We really can't make good sugestions to the hard working filmmakers when it looks so choppy and pixelated. We just can't see it all that well.

For those with time to spare see the difference yourself:

Youtube version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4a9mfXjy4E

QuickTime version on my site:
http://www.avitamarc.com/videos/8_06/fight.mov

No critiques please just see the difference.

You tube is fine for minimal motion video clips but if you want people to really see the action you've worked hard on try to represent it faithfully.
 
Well everything's been said pretty much, except:

1) The blood felt a bit fake. Was too orange. What did you use for it? Recipe? A good tip is white corn sirop, red food colouring (with some yellow drops to help balance it out, or green, blue would make it look too purple, made that mistake as well), then with some chocolate sirop (chocolate powder was my mistake in one mix, but an effects artist once told me to use chocolate sirop instead)

2) The punches sound need to be lower. You have a slapping sound, it needs to be more of a thud. From my experience, even though we've never punched to the face in karate, is that you hardly ever heard the punch. It's only really when it slaps hard against bone or against a hollow area, like the chest, but in both cases creates more of a thud. I would assume if it were the face it would be more of a thud than a slap. At least it makes it sound beter as well. But put it lower and less apparant.
 
In order to create buzz you need to shock your audience. That's how I like to do it. Here's how I would have written it, without tearing apart your work too much. This is story.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
We hear the sound of a DOG BARKING. Seated on curb is GIL, 23. He's writing on the pavement with a chalky rock. It reads "GIL AND KAREN 4 EVA". He tosses the rock, then reaches down and retrieves a box of cigarettes from under leaves and trash along the curb. He shakes the box, opens it, and curiously pulls out a lighter and a cigarette. He shrugs and pops cigarette on his lips and flicks the flint of the lighter twice. The FLAME shoots up in a WHOOSH, almost torching his hair.

A car pulls into the driveway as Gil drags the cigarette like its his first time. The car parks. ROY, 25, exits the car and shuffles quickly towards the house. Gil approaches.

GIL
Hey! Roy.

ROY
Oh, hey, ah, Gil. What's up?

Gil drags his cigarette as tough as he possibly can.

ROY
(nervous)
What were ya just walking by or somethin'?

GIL
No. I was sitting... Right there
(points to curb)
on your curb. You didn't see
me when you pulled in?

ROY
Nah --

GIL
I was waiting for you, Roy.

ROY
Me? Why's that?

GIL
You got a fukin' problem.

ROY
I got a problem? What? What's wrong?

GIL
You're sick. That's what's wrong.

Roy laughs a little.

ROY
I'm sick? I feel fine thanks for asking. What's this
about Gil?

GIL
Your sister.

ROY
Karen? What happened?

GIL
You raped her.

ROY
What?! You better get outta here or I'm calling the cops.

Roy looks back to the house. There's a silhouette of a young female
looking out behind sheer curtains.

GIL
Is that why your back from college?
To rape your sister.

ROY
You better leave now, Gil. I'm warning you.

GIL
What's in the bag, Roy?

Roy turns and walks toward the house. Gil runs up from behind and
snatches the bag from Roy's arm. The bag falls to the ground, inside
we see a rape kit. Duct tape, rope and condoms.

Gil beats the ever living crap out of Roy. After Gil is done with him, Gil looks
up to the window to Karen's silloutte and then walks away.

FADE OUT:
 
I thought the fighting looked pretty good except for maybe a cut or two.

One thing that bothered me was the guy smoking. He obviously wasn't a smoker and it didn't really seem necessary... I guess it wouldn't have mattered except he looked really unnatural with it.

Sorry, it was good overall, that just was really sticking out to me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top