Jason Ramsey
Admin
This is kind of a special Holiday season for me (see title). But, what does that mean, really?
Well, our daughter is 8 and 1/2 months old, and this is her first Christmas.
My family never grew up really getting into Christmas and developing Christmas traditions. Usually because we were in the middle of moving from Alaska to Oklahoma, or one place to another.
Now, with my own child, I find myself getting into this season, and finding a real genuine meaning in it. I think about when she was born and could not even hold up her own head, and could do nothing to express herself but cry. And, now I think about how she is crawling all over the place, and standing, and on the cusp of walking. I think about how she is developing the capacity to assess an environment, and respond with all of the basic emotions that we carry as adults. I think about how last week, the wife put something in a greasy pan and it splattered, and we were being silly acting real scared. My daughter was in the other room, standing up, peeking over her prison wall, and let out this scream, and started crying. She became genuinely scared of the situation. She sensed that something was wrong. It may not sound like much, but when you think about it, it is kind of a complex thought process.
I don't know what I am trying to say about all of this, but Christmas is special to me. Very special. It's meaningful. I recognize and appreciate how great it is to be able to spend this time with my family. It makes me sad and happy at the same time, for a whole wealth of reasons. It makes me appreciate the Christmas' I spent by myself, in some weird way.
It's just one of those things, I guess, that you can understand but not fully grasp until you actually live it. And then, until it becomes just another Christmas 10 years down the road and you repress again, what makes it meaningful.
I can't verbalize it, but it just feels... awesome. Not in some gushy way that it's soooo great, or anything, but because my emotional palette is like right there for me to paint any colors I want with. My sensory organs are so wide open, ready to receive new emotional stimuli, and form new emotional memories with the smell of the air, the taste of spicy Christmas Tea, the sound of my daughters laugh and cry, my wifes accent, lights. I am building happy memories to attach to my sensory memory, so one day when I step outside and the air smells familiar, I feel nostalgic and happy. Not lonesome and depressed. Not to replace the bad ones, but to make me more in tune to the value of those as well, and appreciate these good times, that I can now take with me.
I think that is enough of a ramble for now. I'm not drinking anything, I promise
All the best,
Jason
Well, our daughter is 8 and 1/2 months old, and this is her first Christmas.
My family never grew up really getting into Christmas and developing Christmas traditions. Usually because we were in the middle of moving from Alaska to Oklahoma, or one place to another.
Now, with my own child, I find myself getting into this season, and finding a real genuine meaning in it. I think about when she was born and could not even hold up her own head, and could do nothing to express herself but cry. And, now I think about how she is crawling all over the place, and standing, and on the cusp of walking. I think about how she is developing the capacity to assess an environment, and respond with all of the basic emotions that we carry as adults. I think about how last week, the wife put something in a greasy pan and it splattered, and we were being silly acting real scared. My daughter was in the other room, standing up, peeking over her prison wall, and let out this scream, and started crying. She became genuinely scared of the situation. She sensed that something was wrong. It may not sound like much, but when you think about it, it is kind of a complex thought process.
I don't know what I am trying to say about all of this, but Christmas is special to me. Very special. It's meaningful. I recognize and appreciate how great it is to be able to spend this time with my family. It makes me sad and happy at the same time, for a whole wealth of reasons. It makes me appreciate the Christmas' I spent by myself, in some weird way.
It's just one of those things, I guess, that you can understand but not fully grasp until you actually live it. And then, until it becomes just another Christmas 10 years down the road and you repress again, what makes it meaningful.
I can't verbalize it, but it just feels... awesome. Not in some gushy way that it's soooo great, or anything, but because my emotional palette is like right there for me to paint any colors I want with. My sensory organs are so wide open, ready to receive new emotional stimuli, and form new emotional memories with the smell of the air, the taste of spicy Christmas Tea, the sound of my daughters laugh and cry, my wifes accent, lights. I am building happy memories to attach to my sensory memory, so one day when I step outside and the air smells familiar, I feel nostalgic and happy. Not lonesome and depressed. Not to replace the bad ones, but to make me more in tune to the value of those as well, and appreciate these good times, that I can now take with me.
I think that is enough of a ramble for now. I'm not drinking anything, I promise
All the best,
Jason
