Seeking Tim, Jill, and a Twenty 10min Comedy

Inoran

Inoran

Well-known member
Shot this in about 2 days for one of my production classes. I wrote, directed, helped produce, and acted in it. In the midst of it all, I got pink eye from the lead actress, a throat infection, and stayed up for literally an entire night editting before it was due in class the next morning. Our original actor we casted ended up not being able to make it so unfortunately I had to act one of the main parts of Tim. Talk about a headache. Lemme know what ya think. http://www.stickypod.com/videos/data/524/STJT.mov








http://www.stickypod.com/videos/data/524/STJT.mov
 
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Pretty funny, even if it did start off looking like you ripped off MallRats. The guy with the derby was overacting a bit, but it was still enough to make me laugh. I also like the way you overcame the door as an obstacle, and shot both sides at once.
 
one of my classmates said that about mallrats, which is really ironic, because I've honestly never seen that movie or even anything related to that scene.
i'm rendering the file over again so that the file will play in true widescreen.
 
hehe, liked it man, nicely done.

the best actor by far was boner. nice character.
 
haha i liked it. i think you should cut the dialogue a little faster though and it would flow better. you got good sound, what kind of mic did you use?
 
to be perfectly honest i'm not sure what mic we used. All i know is it was a seinhesser shotgun :/
 
actually, was gunna say probably the weakest thing was the sound, at least inside.

really starting to understand and HEAR the reasons why one should not use a shotgun inside, its really not crisp at all.

outside sounded great though.
 
really? i thought the outside sound was terrible. I had to use so many filters and plugins to lower the sounds of the cars driving by.
 
Yo, this was really funny. I laughed A LOT. The main guy was hilarious. He had incredible comic timing. The cutaways to the gay guy pouring a drink on himself - laugh out loud funny. It's rare that I laugh at low-budget comedy, but I couldn't help myself.

Don't know if you want a critique to help you get better, but I'll give one (this is just to help you, as for the pure viewing experience, I loved it). The blocking felt a little staged. Actors didn't always move to their spots for the next setup naturally. It was like "we're over here. and now we're over here. and now we're over here." I know this is hard as I'm dealing with that problem as well. I have no idea what makes movement to a different setup natural. All I know is that when it's done right, I don't even notice it. The only character I didn't particularly like was the twenty dollar bill guy. The actor was fine, I just didn't really know what his storyline was or why he was there. This seemed to me more about the two guys and the girl. I think overall you can cut out some moments to make it a little quicker. It's a comedy with comedic dialogue, so unless you're pausing for comedic effect, keep it snappy. This happened only a few times, but I noticed it (like, that cut could have been a little faster)

Overall, whoever wrote it writes great dialogue. Very impressed with this. Good job!

Who was the main guy? Is he based in LA?
 
THanks! The two main actors were myself (Tim) and Scott Watson (Andrew) who is a theatre student I found. I am not much of an actor and pretty much was forced into playing the role because our original actor we casted had to bail on us, so i just said screw it, popped on a wig, and took a stab at it. As for dialogue, I wrote and directed and a friend of mine who played the gay guy pouring stuff on himself co-wrote it with me.

There were alot of inconsisancies and it actually would of been worse if alot of it wasn't corrected in post.
 
I loved the scene where the identity-confused character is looking left to right in that POV shot at the guy's ass, then the girls ass' then he glances up and sees the paranoid other roomie starring back at him--funny stuff man. Overall, enjoyed watching it, but i'd say the shadows on the wall when the girlfriend first enters the house and encounters the paranoid roomie are quite distracting. For one, the bold shadow being casted is just screaming "LIGHTING!" and one may begin to focus o nthe lighting. I questioned why you didn't hoist the light up so the shadows fall on the ground, instead of rising upward on the wall as if you underlit it.

Otherwise, good stuff.
 
Why thank you! I'm located in Grand Rapids Michigan.

As for the lighting. 2 of the 3 lights burnt out of our lighting kit, so we had to use those 600w work lights and bounce them from the ceiling, thus at times there were alot of hard shadows.
 
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