My student film shot on a dvx100a/b

Just watched. I have to tell you first off thats a very powerful story. Your storyline was very well thought out and I really enjoyed it.

I do have some other points:

I think you missed some very dramatic opportunities in this. The one that really stood out was father and son at the cemetary. Before the hug, the dialogue could have been so much more powerful. In fact the dialogue for the most part was just OK.

Some of your shot choices were a little touch and go.. framing through the bike spokes didnt do a lot for me and some zooms just made gave it have a less of a"watching a movie" experience - throw the word zoom OUT THE WINDOW - unless your shooting something a bit more edgy, using a snap zoom with pan etc. Work on your framing a little more and tighten that right up.

I enjoyed your main characters performance. I would have reshot where the young girl kept looking at the camera, that threw me. She did pretty well though.

The end narration and scenes in the credits where great.

EDIT: Oh but for a first up you did great I think. Keep going man, once you get a few things clicking you could do some really nice things.
 
ncje said:
Just watched. I have to tell you first off thats a very powerful story. Your storyline was very well thought out and I really enjoyed it.

I do have some other points:

I think you missed some very dramatic opportunities in this. The one that really stood out was father and son at the cemetary. Before the hug, the dialogue could have been so much more powerful. In fact the dialogue for the most part was just OK.

Some of your shot choices were a little touch and go.. framing through the bike spokes didnt do a lot for me and some zooms just made gave it have a less of a"watching a movie" experience - throw the word zoom OUT THE WINDOW - unless your shooting something a bit more edgy, using a snap zoom with pan etc. Work on your framing a little more and tighten that right up.

I enjoyed your main characters performance. I would have reshot where the young girl kept looking at the camera, that threw me. She did pretty well though.

The end narration and scenes in the credits where great.

EDIT: Oh but for a first up you did great I think. Keep going man, once you get a few things clicking you could do some really nice things.
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thanks guys i really apreciate the feedback. I actully didnt shoot the graveyard scene, we were all worried about that scene because the dialogue was terribly corney. lol. (and that super lame hug) haha. After filming this a teacher who has worked on some pretty big projects watched some of my personal other stuff and asked if i wanted to work on a feature with him. I was pretty excited about that. Its kinda funny, normally my friends and i shoot comedy, this was a totally new feel for us. I apreciate the feedback :)
 
I concurr with TheAnimal: story is everything, and you've got some thinking going on in your plot. Very nicely done!
 
JHillman said:
I concurr with TheAnimal: story is everything, and you've got some thinking going on in your plot. Very nicely done!
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thanks a bunch, didnt think people would like it. hehe
 
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