The guy formally known as TheatreGuy re-releases I.D. - new and improved! (I hope!)

Ted Arabian

Ted Arabian

Member with Ladder
This link is still up and active IF anyone wanted to check it out... but I am learning that this enidng just happens TOO quickly for what I wanted to pull off.

Still accepting input and am enjoying this process as a learning tool. Thanks - Ted

ORIGINAL POST follows...

Okay, okay... I've taken I.D. and made a few changes based on the feedback. I've taken out some cross-dissolves. Probably some more need to go. I still need to ADR a couple of voice areas and I would like to add some SFX to a newle added phone conversation.

But I am throwing this out here for your perusal and critique. Be specific. I really want to tune this up, even for the exercise and experience!

I really would like to take the feedback I received and make this film better without too many re-shoots.

So, here you go. Open up and fire away!!!

To download the new and improved I.D. visit this link and save.

(It is the 2nd file on the page! The first file is the original file that you have already seen)

http://www.thetheatreguy.com/ID_download.html

Since I no longer have access to my other threads, I am starting this here.

I hope that you will leave me feedback as I intend to continue to improve upon it!

Ted
 
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Damn! Got me again, Kyle!!! And ALWAYS when I am drinking tequilla!!!

I'll go fix! And thanks for putting on a shirt!!!

Ted
 
HA! I CAN'T change that... It's a title of a thread!!!

Oh well, everyone is going to know that I've been drinking Tequilla tonight!!! (I can never spell and drink Tequilla... when am I going to learn!) (and now, Kyle's got me being EXTRA careful!!!) :)
 
Damn, dude. I can't get nothing past you! Thanks for catching me. (and I have no excuse there... I wasn't drinking Tequilla yesterday!!!)

Love the new, new look! :grin:
 
No, no... it't just funny. I suck at trying to type at the speed of my brain and I overlook a lot of things. But it's good for me. Seriously, I hate typo's and such. Keep it up! Keep me on my toes.

Who's that in your avatar, now? The mama's boy from Fox's Mad TV?
 
Ted,
I had a chance to watch you "improved" version. It was good. Other than a little dialogue in the basement, I personally don't think it made a big difference. It was a wonderful little movie to begin with and the new version ended up leaving me with a new question...who was the guy on the other end of the phone. While it certainly doesn't hurt the movie, I don't think it really helps either. It didn't add any new understanding, but then it didn't detract from the pacing either. I would highly recommend that you explore getting this into a film festive somewhere (either version).

One thing though, I'd have output in 720 dpi rather than 400 for the new version since you're not facing the contest limitations.
 
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Blaine said:
Ted,
I had a chance to watch you "improved" version. It was good. Other than a little dialogue in the basement, I personally don't think it made a big difference. I was a wonderful little movie to begin with and the new version ended up leaving me with a new question...who was the guy on the other end of the phone. While it certainly doesn't hurt the movie, I don't think it really helps either. It didn't add any new understanding, but then it didn't detract from the pacing either. I would highly recommend that you explore getting this into a film festive somewhere (either version).

One thing though, I'd have output in 720 dpi rather than 400 for the new version since you're not facing the contest limitations.
Click to expand...
Good points here. Thanks Blaine. I think that I am forcing a storyline that just doesn't belong in here. The wife biz.

Perhaps I should just end this with the guy off'ing himself.

Really, the ONLY reason the wife ever got involved was because of the Genre "HORROR." And a guy committing suicide does not literally qualify.

Back to the drawing board!

Thanks for the feedback!

Ted
 
Theodore J Arabian said:
...And a guy committing suicide does not literally qualify.
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Oh I don't know, man... suicide is pretty damn horrific! - Especially since you used ground pork and fake blood for your head being blown out on the wall!! =)
 
Yeah... I agree, Kyle. However before I started my project (in the writing stages) I looked up the definition of Horror and "suicide" didn't fit the genre. But I definitely agree with you.

I am going to make another change to my script and end it with the guy blowing his head off. I love entrance of the wife as a juxtapostion to what had just happened. I just haven't found a way to get her intentions across in a quick manner to button the story. I guess if I want the wife in the story, I need to expand the story.

Basically, for anyone reading and wants to offer suggestions...

The man, Tim, had an affair with Sherry. Sherry was a fruitcake, (like whats-her-face in Fatal Attraction) and wouldn't let Tim "go" after he wanted to end the affair. He still loves his wife but screwed up.

The wife found out about the affair and is very unforgiving. She wanted Tim dead for cheating on her. When she learned of his action of killing Sherry (which she may very well have ordered him to commit) she "haunts" him.

Tim struggles with his inner demon as well as his wife's interference. He kills himself.

The wife hears the gunshot, enter the house and goes down to see her handywork. However, her OWN inner demon appears!

Boy, now that I spell it all out... no wonder everyone was confused! I'm confused.

I just wanted an entertaining film that moved quickly.

I'll re-post when I think that I've got it all figured out!!!
 
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Theodore J Arabian said:
Boy, know that I spell it all out... no wonder everyone was confused!
Click to expand...
As the official Ted Arabian SpellCheck I must point one thing out...

I believe what you were trying to say was:

Kyle Stebbins said:
Boy, now that I spell it all out... no wonder everyone was confused!
Click to expand...
God you're really going to hate me, but damnit... "I have one job around here. It's stupid, but I'm going to do it!"

Oh yeah, and as far as the story -- I am confused, too. This could be expanded, Ted man. What you need is a crew, a dolly, and a 30 minute script! THEN this would be easily understood and thoroughly enjoyed. (Not that I didn't already thoroughly enjoy it) YOU ROCK!
 
Thanks Kyle, fixed typo! (wow! Eye relly due no howl too spel! Yikes!) :)

BTW - Keep up the good work, Kyle! And I like your letters in the avatar!

Ted
 
To get all that information into something around six minutes and for it to make sense, would be very challenging without it feeling very forced and rushed.

I like the idea of simply ending it on his own suicide and maybe the wife just walking in and screaming... THE END.

But if you decide to make it even longer then maybe you could work in more of the original story. A few shots of the wife writing messages on a mirror in blood that are signed "Sherry" and maybe these could be shown as flashbacks that you could throw in when the wife finds the dead husband. Another flashback could be her calling him but this time you see her actually on the phone performing the call.

Either way, I can't wait to see what you do for DramaFest (or whatever it ends up being)

And Kyle not only are you a Spell Checker you also moonlight as a Grammar Checker.
 
HA HA!!!

Hey, Thanks Jeremy! Great suggestions. Really.

I do agree and am going to do the ending at the suicide. Having the wife walk in and scream is an idea I hadn't thought of. It is so nice to have fresh eyes and brains for feedback. I get and got so close to it, it makes it difficult to be fresh and objective.

Thanks again!

Feel free to add further comments and suggestions. They are all welcome!

Ted
 
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