My first fest "Betrayed"

I have so much to learn... After Effects, Particle Illusion... there is so much post production stuff that I just don't know.

Right now, in my VERY EARLY STAGES.... I just want to master story-telling and filmmaking. I look forward to being able to impliment VFX.

One day!
 
This film is trying to go there and taking the risks. You guys have guts. Props.
The down side was that I wasn't scared and didn't really feel the horror aspect.
 
TheatreGuy said:
I have so much to learn... After Effects, Particle Illusion... there is so much post production stuff that I just don't know.

Right now, in my VERY EARLY STAGES.... I just want to master story-telling and filmmaking. I look forward to being able to impliment VFX.

One day!
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I think you are right on the money Ted. Story-telling and filmmaking with editing is the first and most essential part. Wouldnt you like to make a nice comedy or drama that didnt involve any fx? Wouldnt you love to be able to say to an fx artist, hey man I need a vfx for this shot and know that you JUST need a vfx for a shot and that your whole work is complete in all other aspects? VFX and FX in general are cool and nice things but history and very recent history has proved that the talent to story telling nice and clean is number 1!
 
Matthew B. Moore said:
This film is trying to go there and taking the risks. You guys have guts. Props.
The down side was that I wasn't scared and didn't really feel the horror aspect.
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the cast kept saying hey is this horror.. then I said hey CAST every get shot in the head must be HORRible :) ever seen a Ghost? pretty scary huh? :)

THanks for commenting and watching..

after the reviews are in--->I now know that i had flat lighting and Guts :)
 
Michael, this was a lot of fun.

I really admire that you went for it and it definitely kept my attention with some great camera moves, nice editing, and wondering just how far you would go to shock or titillate me!

Here's a blow by blow as I rewatch it:

Nice opening logo.

Nice low angle on the approaching footsteps.

The cutting back and forth between the making out and his approach built suspense.

I like the way you ease us into the picture with the dissolves at the top.

Some nice acting on his part in the kitchen while he gets more and more pissed. The handheld here was a good choice as well.

Always leave your bra on to makeout, but take it off to shoot someone (joke - but that seemed odd) I read that you hadn't intended to show the full monty there but that notwithstanding it would have been better to just have her tatas out the whole time. I get that she might have exposed them to distract him before she shot him, but to have them stay in bras for the making out seemed like not going far enough in your rough grungy horror thriller. We don't even need to see booby, but we need to think she's naked in the makeout scene especially if she's gonna be naked for the killing -- enough about that though.

Great shot on the exterior of the van into the interior. I don't even wanna know how.

Nice bit on seeing Jason in the window vs. the bathroom.

Lol ... why not make the hole bigger if he won't fit rather than chop him up? I mean HOW much bigger was he?

Great camera 360 when the girls are talking. You are using the camera as an integral PART of the story. The camera movement mirrors the internal state of the characters there and that's what we should all aspire to for every frame of our film.

"you know how bad it feels to get shot in the head?" a little flat and on the nose. Its tough to figure out what the hell he would say to her though. Maybe he doesn't need to say anything. Or ... this would be a good opportunity for a bring back line ... something he said to her while alive that has a new and eery meaning now ... or, cribbing from Creepshow now, theres's a segment where a mean old man is murdered by his daughter I think. Right before he dies he's screaming "Where's my cake. Bedelia, where's my cake, you *****! Where's my cake". Then as a ghost its like he's stuck in this haunting moment and that's all he says "where's my cake you *****! where's my cake" ringing in her ears over and over ... that kind of single mindedness seems pretty creepy and appropriate for a wraith.

High angle for "WHY SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?!!!" is a bit cliched but it works. I'd definitely do the same thing most likely.


Lots of fun.

Oh, and your sig cracks me up BTW!

Congrats on your first film and I look forward to seeing more from you.
:beer:

Best,

Jack
 
This one was a lot of fun.

Love the music.

Love the camera moves.

The acting needed a little work, but overall it was the right feel.

This had an energy and style that i really dug, look forward to more shorts from you.

I also like boobies.

_joe
 
conrad_johnson said:
This one was a lot of fun.

Love the music.

Love the camera moves.

The acting needed a little work, but overall it was the right feel.

This had an energy and style that i really dug, look forward to more shorts from you.

I also like boobies.

_joe
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Thanks for the nice review and I like boobies too :)
 
Michael, I have enjoyed following your thread from the beginning! I saw a lot of myself in your work.

Congratulations and best of luck to you!

I hope that you will be making more films for us!

I've had a blast in this festival!

Thanks so much for making it fun!

Ted
 
Michael....This was a great short ..loved the camera work ..especially where the camera enters the car ..sweet!!

The story is also very different from everyone Else's .

This was the last short to view today and to comment on ...as I must leave for work .
Congrats on a great short and Good luck .
Thought everyone did a great job of acting .
Ian
 
arielman said:
Michael....This was a great short ..loved the camera work ..especially where the camera enters the car ..sweet!!

The story is also very different from everyone Else's .

This was the last short to view today and to comment on ...as I must leave for work .
Congrats on a great short and Good luck .
Thought everyone did a great job of acting .
Ian
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glad you liked it thank you
 
FUN-Voting-and I'm sorry

FUN-Voting-and I'm sorry

How much fun did I have? check this out, made in for the wrap party :)
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/thanks.mov

Voting i'm getting there.... deadline is 3am EST?

AND I'm sorry to those who's thread I did not post on... I have seen every movie :) I own a biz with employees and have a IRS tax deadline monday (and payroll) pain in the arse I tell ya.. I know how much you busted your ass making these and again I truly am sorry... I had a great time making and watching lets do it AGAIN :)
 
Hi Michael. Your film was very offbeat and atypical. A fun movie that I was able to enjoy with a big group of friends. I doubt we'll soon forget it.

This was a very ambitious first effort. How did you approach your actresses regarding nudity and such? Were you already friends with them?

The character motivations were a bit hard to grasp but perhaps that was due to the fact that you had to cover so much ground in six minutes.

The cinemetography and camerawork could use work but that comes with experience. I'm sure your third film will look vastly diffferent from your first. I recommend some lighting books (Blain Brown has written some good ones. Plus your local library or university is a gold mine. Cinematography.com and the lighting forum here are great too)

Sound could be better and maybe some compression and cleanup in post. Jay Rose has two great books on sound. Buy them both. You won't regret it.

The writing could be a bit more fleshed out. I think you knew where you wanted to take the characters and the story. Maybe it'd help to work backwards. You know you want the girlfriend to betray and kill the boyfriend. You know you want his spirit to haunt them and seek revenge. After knowing this, come up with logical, natural progressions to hit these beats. For the dialogue, start observing the rythm of everyday conversation. Just like you'll be observing how light behaves once you start studying lighting.
Rather than simple exposition that gives the viewer information, it's generally a good idea to deliver information and character development at the same time. Almost sneaking it in. The viewer should not be too aware of the fact that they are recieving data. ("We're in the ass end of the state", etc)

Show rather than tell as they say.

I can't wait to see your next efforts. You pulled off a lot with our first project. Brave acting, a score from a local band, multiple locations, etc.

Keep on keepin on.

Have a good one.
 
*** Hi Michael. Your film was very offbeat and atypical. A fun movie that I was able to enjoy with a big group of friends. I doubt we'll soon forget it. ***

awesome thank you :)

*** This was a very ambitious first effort. How did you approach your actresses regarding nudity and such?***

Told her what I was looking for ( I was looking for shock value) and she agreed. Carli and Jason both work at a local resturant in jax and i was asking around and presto there they where we have since become good freinds.
 
Just finally getting the time to copy the notes I compiled in a Word doc while watching the shorts:


Sorry, but felt this was poor acting. Also, seems like most guys would think it was cool to see girlfriend with another woman, this one gets that upset? Is there a back story we’re unaware of? The VFX from the shooting in the bathroom was topnotch, but sound was off (needed flashes too, or something) when she was firing gun in woods … third shot sound, but didn’t look like she was shooting again. If you’re going to have women undressing & making out for an audience of mostly guys, perhaps have them in better shape for better eye candy? Writing of dialogue with “No, not you. Why?!”, etc. was lacking.
 
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