Slimothy-Blaine-khmuse -Thou Shalt Not-
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kimko
Veteran
nice shots Kevin. good story Blaine in this tight shoot everyone got their wings to fly giving them some character in a short which is unheard of on these fest. Tim i know it must of been hard with all the heavy hitters on this one, but you put it all together and kept it in place. CONGRATULATIONS! .............Miko looked good, I liked when he was taking the gun, and when he was walking up to the girl (exuding evil and confidence) while Dave was spinning the chairs. Dave had the look going when being frisked(nice lighting Kevin) the ladies were very good.
khmuse
Tech Guru
Hey Kimko,
Glad you liked it. It was a challenging yet very enjoyable project to work on. The distant location and the over nighters are a lot to ask of everyone but we had a great cast and crew, everyone was professional and very understanding. We ran into a number of on set surprises (which to varying degrees can occur on any project) and I really thank Tim (Director), Blaine (writer/producer) and David (1st AD) for their willingness to work through the issues and confront the realities that we experienced without any complaints and always with the idea that the outcome of the project is all that matters.
It was a real pleasure to work with this cast, their performances were all excellent and I think that any degree of success that this short has is in large part due to the actors we had.
Sorry that it didn't work out to have you involved in this one, I am certain you would have made a hell of a demon! Perhaps next time we can finally get to work together.
Kevin
Glad you liked it. It was a challenging yet very enjoyable project to work on. The distant location and the over nighters are a lot to ask of everyone but we had a great cast and crew, everyone was professional and very understanding. We ran into a number of on set surprises (which to varying degrees can occur on any project) and I really thank Tim (Director), Blaine (writer/producer) and David (1st AD) for their willingness to work through the issues and confront the realities that we experienced without any complaints and always with the idea that the outcome of the project is all that matters.
It was a real pleasure to work with this cast, their performances were all excellent and I think that any degree of success that this short has is in large part due to the actors we had.
Sorry that it didn't work out to have you involved in this one, I am certain you would have made a hell of a demon! Perhaps next time we can finally get to work together.
Kevin
Mark Harris
Pain in the ass
Hey guys,
I'm slowly making my way through all of the films. I watched this once the first day, as the first time, I just watch for enjoyment. Then I came back to it last night and then this morning. I've now seen it 5 times.
I like this idea, kind of a "DOGMA," but with BALLS!
I guess I'm a little confused about a couple of things:
1) When the second Angel of Death says: "You look just like the guy in the license..." Who is he talking to? It's not clear from the camera choice who he's talking to and why he's saying that. If I missed something, let me know. If it's not clear, I think it could be cleared up with a cut-away of that person, if you have it.
2) Were the brunette and Travis the adulterers? And the Danny Bonneduce guy the brunette's husband? That's what I picked up on when Travis says: "I don't think that's a good idea." And was the girl in the beginning related to what was going on here, or was she the PREVIOUS job they pulled?
Acting-wise, I didn't have any real problem, except, I felt like big "Angel of Death" was working a little too hard at being mean. Not to say his acting was bad, but if you are an Angel of Death, I think you can just be. Power comes from not moving, not working hard. Also, the third barstool he slams, there is no sound. You might foley that in, because if you're an Angel of Death and you're trying to be intimidating, just one of those chairs NOT banging can blow your whole act.
The lighting was so nice to me, because it created these pools of light and dark and you let the characters move in and out of them. Can you post a lighting plot? I bet that diner was a BI-OTCH to light, but I would like to see it if you have it.
I'm slowly making my way through all of the films. I watched this once the first day, as the first time, I just watch for enjoyment. Then I came back to it last night and then this morning. I've now seen it 5 times.
I like this idea, kind of a "DOGMA," but with BALLS!
I guess I'm a little confused about a couple of things:
1) When the second Angel of Death says: "You look just like the guy in the license..." Who is he talking to? It's not clear from the camera choice who he's talking to and why he's saying that. If I missed something, let me know. If it's not clear, I think it could be cleared up with a cut-away of that person, if you have it.
2) Were the brunette and Travis the adulterers? And the Danny Bonneduce guy the brunette's husband? That's what I picked up on when Travis says: "I don't think that's a good idea." And was the girl in the beginning related to what was going on here, or was she the PREVIOUS job they pulled?
Acting-wise, I didn't have any real problem, except, I felt like big "Angel of Death" was working a little too hard at being mean. Not to say his acting was bad, but if you are an Angel of Death, I think you can just be. Power comes from not moving, not working hard. Also, the third barstool he slams, there is no sound. You might foley that in, because if you're an Angel of Death and you're trying to be intimidating, just one of those chairs NOT banging can blow your whole act.
The lighting was so nice to me, because it created these pools of light and dark and you let the characters move in and out of them. Can you post a lighting plot? I bet that diner was a BI-OTCH to light, but I would like to see it if you have it.
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
He is talking to the Kid in this shot. The Kid had just come from the hotel, "leaving" the wallet behind. At this point, no one knows they are actually working together.desperatecomfort said:
Yes, yes and yes. That was the intent of that line. That along with the fact that she was caught with her statement about being at the hotel last week.desperatecomfort said:
It was a previous job. The Kid went ahead to "set up" the next job, using the last one as his "story" to the people in the diner, while he waited for his partner to get there.desperatecomfort said:
Mark Harris
Pain in the ass
Blaine said:
Right, I got that no one knows yet that they are together. Actually, that reminds me, that moment where the little Angel reveals that is pretty awesome.
Why did they set it up that way, tying in the previous job, and not just come in and kill these people?
Slimothy
Veteran
Thanks alot for the comments Mark. I feel bad for not making it over to your thread yet especially since BM was one of my definate favs of the fest.
1-He is talking to Miko, the kid that walked in and sat down in the beginning. I think a shot of Miko's face would have worked excellent here as well, but we got mostly master shots to make sure we had everything in the first place as time didn't permit much, if any coverage.
2-Yes, you have that right, The brunette and Travis were adulterers, she was married to the guy w/ the longer hair and the girl in the hotel was the previous job.
3-A couple of people have mentioned the slamming of the chair. I never noticed it! Weird, the little things you do/don't pick up on.
I'll leave it up to Kevin to post a lighting breakdown, he is far more qualified!
Thanks again man and congrats on your film.
Tim.
1-He is talking to Miko, the kid that walked in and sat down in the beginning. I think a shot of Miko's face would have worked excellent here as well, but we got mostly master shots to make sure we had everything in the first place as time didn't permit much, if any coverage.
2-Yes, you have that right, The brunette and Travis were adulterers, she was married to the guy w/ the longer hair and the girl in the hotel was the previous job.
3-A couple of people have mentioned the slamming of the chair. I never noticed it! Weird, the little things you do/don't pick up on.
I'll leave it up to Kevin to post a lighting breakdown, he is far more qualified!
Thanks again man and congrats on your film.
Tim.
Slimothy
Veteran
desperatecomfort said:
We tried to make it more of a "What would you do if you were roaming the earth for thousands of years killing people" scenario. I think it would get pretty boring, so this is sort of a little game they indulge in from time to time to make it more interesting.
Mark Harris
Pain in the ass
Like so many of us, I'm working on a feature version. Do you guys have any plans to expand on this? Almost seems like a bitchin idea for a series...instead of these guys being like monster hunters or whatever, they are Angels of Death, each episode visiting a new sinner...
Mark Harris
Pain in the ass
Slimothy said:
That's what I assumed. It has some of the feel of Pulp Fiction, the way that movie showed the hitmen just talking about stupid **** before a killing. And what you're saying definitely came through in the last moment with the coffee.
It actually could be funny dealing with the practicals of that situation. Like apparently they have to change their clothes, because they get bloody. It would suck if they both had to have jobs in order to function in the world, while on their mission.
khmuse
Tech Guru
desperatecomfort said:
Thanks for the comments on the lighting, it was a bit of a challenge due to a lot of issues. I really wanted to make a moody and dark environment to help with the story, but I also wanted to pay close attention to the motivation of the lighting that I employed. If you go back in this thread, to about page 8 you will see a lot of photographs and screen caps. I went into a good amount of detail as to how and why I lite things as I did. If you have any questions that I haven't addressed, please feel free to post them and I will be happy to respond when I can. This might be next week as I am just about to shoot another project for another dvxuser (tommyinla) entitled "Maliboo". This will be shot on the SDX900 and should cut to about a 13 minute TRT.
Thanks again for you comments and glad you liked our little film.
TheatreGuy
Veteran
Hey guys,
I have to tell you that I saw this film on day one, it was one of the first 5 films I saw. I didn't comment immediately because I was torn. I wanted to LOVE your film (having great expectations) but I was very confused by you film. I just didn't know what to say. So I held off until I could see some other films.
I have now watched it 4 more times in the last hour and I keep trying to understand a basic story fact. Who deserved to die? Who was the adulter? Or adulters? Two of the 4 people were collateral damage, right?
In addition to my lack of understanding the storyline, I was very confused by the framing of the shots. The placement of the actors seemed to change in several of the shots. I got very lost as to where I was in the diner.
But let me jump to some things that I really liked before you dismiss this post and move on to the next.
I loved the production quality of this film. It felt like a Hollywood blockbuster. The lighting and the art direction really stood out for me. I loved the darkened environment of the diner. Even in the dark, I could make out a lot of detail. I bet it's even better in a larger format and uncompressed.
The hotel shot was just "pro" all the way! The exterior shot of the diner as well. Nice lighting on that tree to create some height with that wide shot.
The performances of your actors worked for me.
The shot of the waitress in the spill of red light was a nice touch. I found myself wanting it to be a neon light glow with the "cracks" of intermittent outage (like a neon sign on the fritz). I guess that may be a bit too cliche', but I thought that it would build some tension there.
A few other notes...
I didn't understand at all what the waitress said when she came back into the main room. I finally have determined that she must have said, "I can't get a dial tone." I honestly don't even know when she left main room. I guess it was right after she said, "Oh, my god." A quick shot of her leaving the main room would have been nice and (for me) would have built tension. (by asking myself where is she going?)
The guy who enters the diner says that he's "never seen so much blood in his life before..." but the shot of the woman lying dead has but a flesh wound.
The guy (Dell, I think) is searching the guy with the knife and while he is doing so, Travis repeats his demand to search him. Threw me, thinking that command was being given to someone else.
And after he searches him, there is that nice shot through the window of Dell tying him up. Again, I was confused because I didn't see the lady with the rope come back in. I actually thought that he was still searching him and that this was a continuity issue (with the arms suddenly down by his side).
I would like to have seen bigger gun shot noise and better stabbing sounds. (I really don't know what a stabbing actually sounds like, but if Hollywood as over embellished what it actually sounds like, then that is what I wanted. )
Also, the first gun shot didn't seem quite real. I watched this over and over again and believe that it is because the trigger man has no reaction. I know that maybe he has fired a gun a thousand times in his life... but I still think he should have some body movement. He head is so still. I shot a gun many times in the USMC and I always flinched a little bit.
Okay, I am picky. I am very, very picky.
I really LOVED the first 1:55 of this film. Then it got confusing. By the end, I understood that the two guys are "bounty hunters" but I was confused as I stated before.
You guys really made a gorgeous looking film. I must say that. You made me feel like I just took a bunch of ladders and some old lights and stood in front of a camera!
Sorry that my critique is negative on the storyline. I didn't want to write this but if I am not honest, then how will you ever know?
And I haven't read anyone else's comments (I don't like to taint my view) so I don't know if I am an isolated case or what.
I am leaving it for you to do what you will with it!
I really do think that this film has a lot going for it. Really I do. I could see this being a full feature with a fully developed storyline. I am sure that a lot of decision were made as to what to keep and what to toss.
A very PROFESSIONAL looking film. Above all, it is got a great look to it. (And I love the idea of these two guys roaming the Earth hunting down sinners. Truly, I do!)
Thanks for sharing this film. And thank you for allowing me to share my critique. I hope to one day make films that look like this!
Ted
(Just to emphasize how picky I am... the white vette's lights were still on when he went into the diner. Maybe a time-delay switch on the car's headlights but it bothered me.)
I have to tell you that I saw this film on day one, it was one of the first 5 films I saw. I didn't comment immediately because I was torn. I wanted to LOVE your film (having great expectations) but I was very confused by you film. I just didn't know what to say. So I held off until I could see some other films.
I have now watched it 4 more times in the last hour and I keep trying to understand a basic story fact. Who deserved to die? Who was the adulter? Or adulters? Two of the 4 people were collateral damage, right?
In addition to my lack of understanding the storyline, I was very confused by the framing of the shots. The placement of the actors seemed to change in several of the shots. I got very lost as to where I was in the diner.
But let me jump to some things that I really liked before you dismiss this post and move on to the next.
I loved the production quality of this film. It felt like a Hollywood blockbuster. The lighting and the art direction really stood out for me. I loved the darkened environment of the diner. Even in the dark, I could make out a lot of detail. I bet it's even better in a larger format and uncompressed.
The hotel shot was just "pro" all the way! The exterior shot of the diner as well. Nice lighting on that tree to create some height with that wide shot.
The performances of your actors worked for me.
The shot of the waitress in the spill of red light was a nice touch. I found myself wanting it to be a neon light glow with the "cracks" of intermittent outage (like a neon sign on the fritz). I guess that may be a bit too cliche', but I thought that it would build some tension there.
A few other notes...
I didn't understand at all what the waitress said when she came back into the main room. I finally have determined that she must have said, "I can't get a dial tone." I honestly don't even know when she left main room. I guess it was right after she said, "Oh, my god." A quick shot of her leaving the main room would have been nice and (for me) would have built tension. (by asking myself where is she going?)
The guy who enters the diner says that he's "never seen so much blood in his life before..." but the shot of the woman lying dead has but a flesh wound.
The guy (Dell, I think) is searching the guy with the knife and while he is doing so, Travis repeats his demand to search him. Threw me, thinking that command was being given to someone else.
And after he searches him, there is that nice shot through the window of Dell tying him up. Again, I was confused because I didn't see the lady with the rope come back in. I actually thought that he was still searching him and that this was a continuity issue (with the arms suddenly down by his side).
I would like to have seen bigger gun shot noise and better stabbing sounds. (I really don't know what a stabbing actually sounds like, but if Hollywood as over embellished what it actually sounds like, then that is what I wanted.
)Also, the first gun shot didn't seem quite real. I watched this over and over again and believe that it is because the trigger man has no reaction. I know that maybe he has fired a gun a thousand times in his life... but I still think he should have some body movement. He head is so still. I shot a gun many times in the USMC and I always flinched a little bit.
Okay, I am picky. I am very, very picky.
I really LOVED the first 1:55 of this film. Then it got confusing. By the end, I understood that the two guys are "bounty hunters" but I was confused as I stated before.
You guys really made a gorgeous looking film. I must say that. You made me feel like I just took a bunch of ladders and some old lights and stood in front of a camera!
Sorry that my critique is negative on the storyline. I didn't want to write this but if I am not honest, then how will you ever know?
And I haven't read anyone else's comments (I don't like to taint my view) so I don't know if I am an isolated case or what.
I am leaving it for you to do what you will with it!
I really do think that this film has a lot going for it. Really I do. I could see this being a full feature with a fully developed storyline. I am sure that a lot of decision were made as to what to keep and what to toss.
A very PROFESSIONAL looking film. Above all, it is got a great look to it. (And I love the idea of these two guys roaming the Earth hunting down sinners. Truly, I do!)
Thanks for sharing this film. And thank you for allowing me to share my critique. I hope to one day make films that look like this!
Ted
(Just to emphasize how picky I am... the white vette's lights were still on when he went into the diner. Maybe a time-delay switch on the car's headlights but it bothered me.)
TheatreGuy
Veteran
I forgot to mention that I really liked the score. It was so understated and worked nicely under this film.
I also keep wondering if I should delete my critique and and just say, "good job!" But I wouldn't be true to myself and if (or when!) I ever meet you guys, I want to hold my head up high.
Besides, there is some outstanding craftmanship in your film. Absolutely one of the best looking films in the festival! I wish you the best success and hope that there is plans for more of this story. It is a great title and I love the premise.
Thanks again,
Ted
(I guess I probably blew my chances to work with you... I hope not! )
I also keep wondering if I should delete my critique and and just say, "good job!" But I wouldn't be true to myself and if (or when!) I ever meet you guys, I want to hold my head up high.
Besides, there is some outstanding craftmanship in your film. Absolutely one of the best looking films in the festival! I wish you the best success and hope that there is plans for more of this story. It is a great title and I love the premise.
Thanks again,
Ted
(I guess I probably blew my chances to work with you... I hope not!
)
Blaine
Mr. Hollywood
That would have been a mistake. I'm glad you didn't delete it. You've made some valid points and I appreciate the feedback. There were some things we'd have liked to have done differently but found ourselve out of time and up against the time limit for the movie. I'm not making excuses for the movie. I am happy with what we were able to come up with.TheatreGuy said:I also keep wondering if I should delete my critique and and just say, "good job!"
(I guess I probably blew my chances to work with you... I hope not!
Kevin addressed the question of what we'd do differently if we did it again, earlier in the thread and I think he did a good job of it. We made some strategic choices to make sure that we could finish the shoot at the location and get the shots we needed. We still ran short of time and didn't get the coverage we wanted. It would have been nice (and more expensive) to have a third day at the location. Next time, we'll know better.
That's wha this is all about, learning from our mistakes. Thanks for taking the time and giving a well thought out review. You might want to read back a few posts as some of the plot issues may be a little more clear to you.
Oh, yeah. Just to reiterate what Kevin said earlier (in your thread), if you're ever out this way, we'd love to have you join us on a project.
TheatreGuy
Veteran
Hey Blaine, I appreciate the reply! I will go through your latest thread entries and catch up!
And I read a great quote today... "Films are never finished, they just run out of time!"
Loved it when I read it. Going to have to make a T-shirt of that for the last day of shooting or something!
Talk to you later - Ted
And I read a great quote today... "Films are never finished, they just run out of time!"
Loved it when I read it. Going to have to make a T-shirt of that for the last day of shooting or something!
Talk to you later - Ted
Slimothy
Veteran
Ted: Thanks a bundle for the review man. The most irritating thing for me is to know about some shortcomings, then hear people say "Your film was great, I wouldn't have changed a thing!" Blowing smoke helps no one and once again, thanks for taking the time.
As far as the storyline goes: There were some things that were changed from the time it was written to the time we edited it, and I think that's why it's confusing for most people. I think we knew the story so well and made changes figuring people would understand it the way we did, but that didn't end up being the case.
I'm sure most people had similar constraints on time so I hate to keep going back to that, but I learned alot from this. Thanks to reviews like yours, and some others I feel confident that next time things can be alot better. As I stated before, our initial plan was to not hype this one up at all, but things just kinda took off.
Irregardless, I'd like to thank everyone involved one last time, they did a great job and any shortcomings can definately be attributed to those of us behind the cam.
Tim.
As far as the storyline goes: There were some things that were changed from the time it was written to the time we edited it, and I think that's why it's confusing for most people. I think we knew the story so well and made changes figuring people would understand it the way we did, but that didn't end up being the case.
I'm sure most people had similar constraints on time so I hate to keep going back to that, but I learned alot from this. Thanks to reviews like yours, and some others I feel confident that next time things can be alot better. As I stated before, our initial plan was to not hype this one up at all, but things just kinda took off.
Irregardless, I'd like to thank everyone involved one last time, they did a great job and any shortcomings can definately be attributed to those of us behind the cam.
Tim.
khmuse
Tech Guru
TheatreGuy said:I(I guess I probably blew my chances to work with you... I hope not!
No way, you would be a hell of an asset on any set. I loved reading your critique of our little film, it is so honest and equally helpful. Now, if it wasn't 3AM and if I didn't have to be up by 6:30 and if I wasn't just two days from shooting another film, I would try to address some of your questions and comments, but that is just going to have to wait until early next week.
Seriously, if you ever find your way out here, let me know, I would be honored to work on something together or at a minimum have a beer or three.
Great points, every one of them and thanks so much for taking the time to write in such detail!
TheatreGuy
Veteran
Blaine, Slimothy, khmuse... Thank you, each of you, for your reply to my response.
I really do appreciate your positive attitude and not giving me the "whatever" treatment. Really means a lot that you each took time to comment. Thanks.
I have been trying to find a way to convince my wife that we need to live in California. If any of you have any resources that you could direct me to for potential work out there (in this biz) I'd greatly appreciate it!
I am and have been an independent artist pretty much all of my life and would like to find that out there in good ol' CA. Might be a pipe-dream, but I miss it and have been trying to get back for some time now!!!
Thanks again for all!
Looking forward to the future!!!
Ted
I really do appreciate your positive attitude and not giving me the "whatever" treatment. Really means a lot that you each took time to comment. Thanks.
I have been trying to find a way to convince my wife that we need to live in California. If any of you have any resources that you could direct me to for potential work out there (in this biz) I'd greatly appreciate it!
I am and have been an independent artist pretty much all of my life and would like to find that out there in good ol' CA. Might be a pipe-dream, but I miss it and have been trying to get back for some time now!!!
Thanks again for all!
Looking forward to the future!!!
Ted