Cure for Writer's Block: No. 9

Finally got to see this. Good Job.

I'm glad you decided to add the stuff with the kid putting up the numbers - it really adds a lot to the piece.

The black and white look really sets this apart from the other films in the contest. Not to mention that the cinematography is top-notch :)

I have to say that you really have a knack for editing. Knowing the amount of footage we had, I could tell that you had to make some tough choices. I also disagree with the comments about the editing being too slow. I liked the deliberate pacing.

I liked the music and sound design, but I think that it's one area where you can push this piece further. One thing that made your scratch track so effective was it kept building tension while the guys head was being eaten, then once he died it all released. It was brilliant. I'd mess around with the score and try to caprture that same arc.

My favorite part is, of course, the typewriter eating the guys head - it came out so much better than I thought it would.

Great stuff.
 
Well, VersuS, you have a good point - many times the 'dream logic' thing is very effective, and the relevant names definitely do toss symbols at you without necessarily explaining what they mean - anyone care to define the blue box in Mulholland Drive? Probably someone, now that I think of it.
Personal taste is just that - I found that in this particular film, the actions of 'the room' pulled me out of the story instead of making me curious about the mystery. In another film, the same tricks might play just fine.
 
luster said:
Finally got to see this. Good Job.

I'm glad you decided to add the stuff with the kid putting up the numbers - it really adds a lot to the piece.

The black and white look really sets this apart from the other films in the contest. Not to mention that the cinematography is top-notch :)

I have to say that you really have a knack for editing. Knowing the amount of footage we had, I could tell that you had to make some tough choices. I also disagree with the comments about the editing being too slow. I liked the deliberate pacing.

I liked the music and sound design, but I think that it's one area where you can push this piece further. One thing that made your scratch track so effective was it kept building tension while the guys head was being eaten, then once he died it all released. It was brilliant. I'd mess around with the score and try to caprture that same arc.

My favorite part is, of course, the typewriter eating the guys head - it came out so much better than I thought it would.

Great stuff.
Click to expand...

My D.P. ladies and gentlemen! (Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap) :)

I've been reading through all of the comments and I do appreciate the feedback. It's all very constructive and I like that.

There is DEFINITELY a lot more life for this film. Some people have suggested cutting it down, but I feel it actually needs more room to breathe. There's additional scenes I want to shoot (hear that J.P.!) that will add to the overall "story" of the piece.

It's funny. The typewriter "event" was the first thing I cut. I kind of left it alone until sound editing and I did think at that time that it needs to be trimmed a bit. But with the deadline looming, I left it alone.

This is not a finished project by any means and I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks,


John G.
 
Hey John, HOW CAN I SEE YOUR FILM?????????????

I have been trying on mirror #2 since yesterday!

Any advice for me? I'm on mac and can only use that mirror, I believe.

Ted
 
This might just be #1 in my opinion. Throughout the film, the soundtrack made me think of David Lynch's Eraserhead. Too coincidental that the writer's name is Whitehead. Even the heating duct (radiator) was speaking to us.

This was simply executed, black and white, very direct and concise. That allowed me to focus on the story, the message, and the audio and visual. Because it is neat, it is perfect.

Nothing in this film is gratuitous or unnecessary. The shaking table lamp was all that was needed when the typewriter was munching. Oh, and those close-ups of the typewriter! Fantastic.

I received a very strong message from this film. Maybe I missed your intended message, but as with all art, it is subject to interpretation. For me, the key was that he looked into the mirror. Not, just a look, but close examination, to see what was on the other side (the inside) of the reflected image. It was after this intense introspection, that he returned to the task of writing, only to be consumed, and possibly, destroyed by what he wrote (saw).

Brilliant!
 
finally watched this one, I really liked the imagery and the spooky sound design. The kid dragging the box really conjured up something, it was really eerie, how alone everyone was. Good job!
 
It looked great! but somethign about it really reminded me of a combination of Eraserhead and NAked Lunch.

This however is not a bad thing. It hough it was refreshing and i liek the images. The type writer was GREAT!!!!!!

But i cant help but htinking it was tOOOOOO close to David lynch. Jsut tooo close.
 
I thought the photography was amazing and I sat there going: "Why didn't WE shoot BW???"

And though I guess I should have said: "No story, blah blah blah," I kept watching to see what would happen next. I wish a little that SOMETHING big would have happened at the end, but I enjoyed it just the same.
 
It was B&W? Oh damn, I didn't even notice. I was so caught up in the imagery and still missed that.

I just went and looked. I guess the hell it was.
 
Cure for writers block, well I must say I enjoyed the look you were going for here. Silent films have never been my thing, but this film had good moments. The typewriter fx scored big for me. Good job guys!
 
This is one of my favorites. Those first few shots had me buying it right away. The whole thing was very visually appealing, and everything looked great technically as well. Pacing was perfect. All very good.

My only criticism - I would have skipped all the gory stuff when the typewriter gets into his head (were they brains?) - that took me out of the flow a bit, and I think just a tiny bit of blood would have effectively gotten the point across without being a distraction.

But then, perhaps, you would have had people crying "not horror!" ? I don't know...

Good job.
 
but you know the the real brilliance of it is it never hit that Ptetentious mark. not even close. it really hit the "art" in me. And to do that with a moving image is SUPER hard, especailly with me because im so picky about Vidoe art.

( we say, it reminds me of eraser head, DUDE, i would kill to be referenced seriously in the same breath as DAvid Lynch)
 
TimurCivan said:
( we say, it reminds me of eraser head, DUDE, i would kill to be referenced seriously in the same breath as DAvid Lynch)
Click to expand...

Dude, I'm not EVEN complaining. I appreciate the comments. If this reminds somebody of Eraserhead, hey, great! I can dig it!


John G.
 
Pretty cool, but the -shredding- wasn't intense enough. And it lasted too long!

Little bit faster, or more quick cuts to make it interesting would have been cool.

Still, pretty original and I liked it for the most part.

Reminded me a LOT of Metallica's The Unforgiven video.
 
one of the best so far, haven't watched that many yet though

the cinematagrophy, the minimalistyc style, the music it all kinda reminded me of a david lynch meets jim jarmusch film. and thats a good thing :D

great job on the good visuals and sound design that kept me intrigued

ps: yeah it did remind me of that metallica video as well
 
My compliments: one simple original idea beginning to end presented ABA; very good music; audio technically excellent; stark lighting and sets are strong escpecially in BW. Overall, I very much enjoyed the show. It was pro work.

My criticisms: Why didn't you develop the music all the way through instead of all the SFX? Your musical idea has so much potential than the SFX. Musically it could have been developed in many powerful directions. I would like to have more quiet in the typewriter scenes with more tiny foley which would have added tension.
 
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