Feedback Please: The Voice of Harlem: General Election 2008 (my 1st doc short)

Nicely done, Carmen.

Good audio. Good interview techniique in the sense that you let the people speeak for themselves and you edited out your questions.

A little too much camera movement, side to side and l zooming, for my taste. I wondered if it was you zooming or the auto function on your camera.

I think the piece could benefit from some narration to tie the people-on-the-street clips together, linking their comments back to the theme of your story. There's a formula for this---if you're into formulas!--- that's something like 2/3 interviews and 1/3 narration; either way, it would be nice to have something to tie it altogether.

Well done
Bob
 
Hello Carmen,

First, Barack Obama is Black AND White.

His Father is from Kenya and his Mother's side is Irish-American hailing from Kansas. Barack was raised in large part by his "White" Grandmother in Hawaii.

I think it is important to celebrate that we have a President of African Descent. He is indeed an African-American in the truest sense but it is essential to equally remember and celebrate that he is also an Irish-American.

He is both.

He is double.

Just saying he is "Black" is a disservice to him and to his ancestors and to all of our children.


I do appreciate your sentiment and your work.

It is just incomplete.
 
Carmen- I think there was an audio issue (about 3:45 before the end) . . . first two clips of the two girls. You lost your eyeline a couple times but I wasn't distracted. I'm neither Black nor Irish-American but I think everyone has reason to be proud for one reason or another.

Nice work. Enjoyed it, Thanks.
 
Bobonli said:
Nicely done, Carmen.

A little too much camera movement, side to side and l zooming, for my taste. I wondered if it was you zooming or the auto function on your camera.

I think the piece could benefit from some narration to tie the people-on-the-street clips together, linking their comments back to the theme of your story. There's a formula for this---if you're into formulas!--- that's something like 2/3 interviews and 1/3 narration; either way, it would be nice to have something to tie it altogether.

Well done
Bob
Click to expand...

Thanks Bob!

I do have to work more on the audio and camera movement.....I hadn't heard of the formula, but it sounds interesting, so I'll look into it. I appreciate your comments about the technical aspects of the project.

Carmen
 
dregenthal said:
Carmen- I think there was an audio issue (about 3:45 before the end) . . . first two clips of the two girls. You lost your eyeline a couple times but I wasn't distracted. I'm neither Black nor Irish-American but I think everyone has reason to be proud for one reason or another.

Nice work. Enjoyed it, Thanks.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your feedback....yes, I had some audio quips in there and couldn't seem to edit them out without deleting some of the speech. I need to use a better microphone. I agree as well, about the eye line .....I started getting tired of holding the camera......I will certainly work on these aspects. I really do appreciate your comments and will incorporate them in my next project.

Thanks
Carmen
 
ESTEBEVERDE said:
Hello Carmen,

First, Barack Obama is Black AND White.

His Father is from Kenya and his Mother's side is Irish-American hailing from Kansas. Barack was raised in large part by his "White" Grandmother in Hawaii.

I think it is important to celebrate that we have a President of African Descent. He is indeed an African-American in the truest sense but it is essential to equally remember and celebrate that he is also an Irish-American.

He is both.

He is double.

Just saying he is "Black" is a disservice to him and to his ancestors and to all of our children.


I do appreciate your sentiment and your work.

It is just incomplete.
Click to expand...

Hi,

Thanks for your comments. I appreciate them and I totally agree with you. However, please note, that the title of the piece is "The Voice of Harlem: General Election 2008" not "The Voice of Carmen: General Election 2008".

Do you have any comments about the technical aspects of the project? They would be welcomed as well.

Best Regards,
Carmen
 
Carmen Neely said:
Hi,

Thanks for your comments. I appreciate them and I totally agree with you. However, please note, that the title of the piece is "The Voice of Harlem: General Election 2008" not "The Voice of Carmen: General Election 2008".

Do you have any comments about the technical aspects of the project? They would be welcomed as well.

Best Regards,
Carmen
Click to expand...

It's hard for me to separate the message from your piece because that IS the sine qua non. It's the whole point!

Yes, you interviewed people in Harlem but you could have just as easily asked about his Irish cultural heritage.

I had friends and family emailing me telling me what county his family was from and the when and wheres when he was just elected as a Senator so the information is out there.

But, your point is taken and I will go back and check for technical aspects again.

I would say that the two young ladies seem to steal the show with their beauty, enthusiasm, and articulation!

A+++ on that! :beer:
 
This is an interview on the street piece and while there is camera movement I think that just keeps it alive.

There are a few framing issues but it really doesn't distract from the work in any real way.

It's good to go unless you are submitting it to a film or journalism class then you are going to want to clean up the camera work if you have equally compelling footage to do so.

If not no biggie!
 
ESTEBEVERDE said:
This is an interview on the street piece and while there is camera movement I think that just keeps it alive.

There are a few framing issues but it really doesn't distract from the work in any real way.

It's good to go unless you are submitting it to a film or journalism class then you are going to want to clean up the camera work if you have equally compelling footage to do so.

If not no biggie!
Click to expand...

Hi Estebeverde,

Thanks for your technical feedback as well as your feedback about the content. I totally see your point....afterall, I have a Spanish first name and an Irish last name...yet my heritage is African-American. I speak some Spanish, but am fluent in French...go figure! LOL I think these days, most everyone is a mixture of something or other whether they want to admit it or not. Obama's multiculturalism is part of what makes him so compelling.

I will work on the camera movement.....maybe getting one of those stabilizers will help. My arm did get pretty tired as the day went on and I hadn't taken my tripod with me. I also could have done better with the audio had I used a better mic. I look forward to my next project so that I can work out some of these quirks.

Thanks again for all of your feedback. It helps me grow as a filmmaker and can even show me a perspective I might not have otherwise considered. So your words are sincerely appreciated.

Best Regards,
Carmen
 
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